Prick Me With A Needle
by TheShortVampire
Summary: After having lived together for months, Reid and Renee look toward their future. Reid has set plans in motion but a traumatized Elle and a case in Georgia gone horribly wrong, sometimes things don't always go as planned.A Sequel to "An Innocent Mind".
1. Chapter 1

Prick Me with a Needle

**A/N: This is a sequel to "An Innocent Mind" so I suggest reading that first. The story starts off at the episode **_**P911.**_

Chapter One: Far Too Soon

Renee Huggins drove her small silver sedan through D.C. It was early, just past seven on a Monday morning. The morning rush hour was in full effect and Renee was just sitting, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. She had music playing and was in no hurry. She could still hear horns going off and the guy in the car beside her was giving the finger to anyone he could find. He flicked Renee off a couple of times. She wasn't surprised though and was used to it; this had become her new routine.

Every Monday morning, Renee would leave her and Reid's loft two hours before her class started and would go and visit Elle. She would have breakfast with her and Renee hoped that she was able to help her. This routine had started after Reid and herself had gotten back from Vegas. At first she would go to the hospital and help Elle with anything that she needed. When Elle was able to go home the first thing she did was move. Much like Renee, she didn't want to be in a place that had bad memories. For Renee, it was her father's suicide but for Elle, Randall Gardner shot her in her own apartment. It wasn't home anymore.

After Elle had gotten settled and was able to relax in her new apartment, Renee would spend her Mondays with her. Before, it used to be all day and then Reid would come over, if he wasn't on a case, and the three of them would share a quiet dinner. It was those moments that Elle looked forward to the most. She used to strive for information about what was going on with the team. However, once the summer was over and Renee went back to teaching, they only spent their mornings together. When the new school year started, Renee had told Elle that she was more than welcome to have dinner with them but she declined. After Renee wasn't able to meet her as much, it seemed as though Elle pushed her and Reid away. Reid hadn't seen her for well over a month.

Traffic started to move and Renee was at Elle's apartment building well within fifteen minutes. She parked on the street a few blocks up and feed the meter. She normally wasn't there for any longer than a half of an hour because Elle would be anxious to be rid of her. Most would have given up on Elle but Renee didn't want to give up on her just yet. She felt that Elle needed someone and she wanted to be the one to be there for her.

She walked up the block and into the cold building. It was nicer than her old apartment building and much better than the one she and Reid shared now. The one Elle lived in even had a door man who Renee waved to. He was an elderly man who at one point said that it was nice of Renee to visit Elle, seeing that she didn't get many visitors. Once she reached her friend's apartment door, she knocked and it didn't take long for Elle to answer. Renee was shocked at what she saw.

"You cut your hair?" It was short, almost as short as Nora's but not a sleek. It was nice and fit Elle. Elle just shrugged and opened the door wider to let Renee in. She stepped into her apartment and looked around. She still hadn't really unpacked anything. There were no pictures hung on the wall or any movies on the self. There were no personal touches that made it feel like a home and that worried Renee.

"I know. I needed a change." Elle stated flatly. She wasn't surprised to see Renee but she couldn't exactly say she was thrilled. While she appreciated Renee's kindness, Elle was itching to get back to work. She watched far too many soap operas for her liking and she didn't like being cooped up, which a reason for her decision to get her hair cut.

"I like it. It suites you." Renee held up a small brown bag. "I brought some bagels from that coffee shop you like. I would have got coffee too but it would have been cold by the time I got here." Elle nodded and headed toward the coffee pot to turn it on. She then pulled out two plates which Renee put the bagels on them. They coated them in cream cheese as they chatted in small talk. "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine." That was always Elle's answer. Whether it was true or not, Renee wasn't so sure. After Elle was healed, she felt as though she hit a wall with her. It was as if Elle was humoring her with these visits. "You don't have to ask me that you know. You are not my therapist." It was a snarky reply that caused Renee to frown. She knew that Elle had a tendency to be sarcastic but sometimes it hurt. Renee only wanted to help.

"I know." That was the only thing that she could think of to say. Elle could sense that she offended Renee and she also knew that Renee wouldn't say anything to that matter. Elle sighed and picked at her bagel. She was grateful for her friend's help but a part of her just wanted to be alone. She was tired of dealing with getting shot and she just wanted to be back at work.

"How is Reid?" Elle asked, hoping to get Renee talking again. The blond woman lifted her head to look at her friend.

"Good. He had to leave a bit earlier than normal. He said that they had a case but he didn't take his go bag so I think it is local but I'm not sure." While she was glad that Reid would be close to home and be able to sleep in his own bed during a case, it always unnerved her when she knew that there was a perpetrator on the loose in the same city she lived in. It scared her knowing that she could end up at the wrong place at the wrong time along with the fear that Reid could be in harm's way because of some psychopath.

Elle looked at Renee. When there was a case, Elle always got that feeling of her pulse raising and adrenaline flowing through her veins. Yet, that wasn't there. She just felt as empty as she had before. She wanted to feel that excitement again. It was like a drug and Elle was an addicted. She wanted that high again and she wanted feel that chase. She looked at the clock. If it was local, there was a chance that the team would still be at the BAU.

"I have to go." Elle stated and grabbed her keys. She grabbed her gun and holster that were lying in the living area. Renee jumped up and followed her out. She was confused and didn't understand what was going on but when Elle grabbed her credentials, which showed Renee where she is going.

"Elle! You have a week left! You can't go into work!" Renee stated in a incredulous voice. She was shocked that someone could blatantly ignore their doctor's orders in such a manner. Renee simply followed her around her apartment as she grabbed various items and threw them into her purse. She put on her gun holster and loaded up her gun.

"I'm tired of waiting. I'm fine and ready. I'm going." Elle ran toward her door leaving Renee standing there completely shocked. Out of all the outcomes, she didn't expect to be left standing in Elle's apartment while she ran off to chase bad guys before she was supposed to. "Lock up for me will you?"

Reid walked down the cold and sterile hallway outside of the bullpen. He couldn't help but parallel this hallway from the one in the elementary school that Renee worked at. They were like night and day. The FBI headquarters were almost like a prison. There was no personality and no color. There was no laughter of small children in the hallway like there would be at the elementary school. It was a happy place but Quantico was not. There rarely was any happy memoires there.

This case was going to be difficult and he knew it. It always was when it concerned children. He hoped that since SSA Katie Cole joined them that they might be able to solve this and save the child. Reid always found that seeing a child in the line of work that they do was hard. He knew that it was hardest on Hotch because he was a father. Hotch saw his own son when little boys were taken and murdered. Yet, this time they had the chance to save the boy in the video.

Reid paused and closed his eyes. He let himself envision for a brief second where he would be at the moment if Renee's father hadn't attacked her. She would have been about six months pregnant if she hadn't missed carried. He would know if he was going to have a son or a daughter. While the thought of fatherhood scared the living daylights out of him, he still wondered. He didn't let himself dwell on it often because it was painful. He knew that if Renee had given birth to his child, he would have loved him or her. The only question was, would he still be able to do this job when it came to children being abused in the manner that they were?

They had moved on even though there was still a twinge of sadness that lingered. Yet, they got everyday and they laughed when the moment caught them. They had been together well over a year. They were living their life and they were happy. It was moments like those that told Reid that he wanted her in his life permanently. He wanted to marry her. He knew that he needed to talk to her grandmother, Lillian Moore, before he did anything. He didn't even have a ring yet. He looked but nothing jumped out at him.

The elevator dinged and Reid saw Elle step out of it. She looked uncertain and nervous. He didn't know what she was doing there. She should still be having breakfast with Renee but there she was. She walked slowly toward the bullpen, looking for something. When she spotted him, she seemed somewhat relieved.

"Well, if it isn't Dr. Reid." Elle said. She hadn't seen him recently and she realized that she missed him. She missed him coming with Renee to visit her. While she was irritated with their help, she could deny that she appreciated it.

"Elle. Wow." He walked toward her slowly. He looked at her up and down. He still stood a few paces back and she could tell that he was being careful. Obviously, Renee had told him that she was pushing them all away.

"Nice haircut." She teased him, trying to bring the old Elle back out. Reid laughed a bit and came even closer but was still far away enough that could tell anyone there was some strain. He touched his hair lightly and smiled.

"Thanks. Uh, yeah. I like your hair cut too." Reid stated. He looked at it and it surprised him. Elle had always liked her hair long and hanging down around her shoulders. This hair cut, while it suited her, took Reid off guard.

"Is that a boy's special?" Elle teased him.

"Yeah. It is." Reid decided to play along. The truth was, Renee always cut his hair. It was a routine that they developed. She wasn't a hairstylist but it was some type of intimacy that both Reid and Renee enjoyed. She didn't make him look hideous that was just a bonus. In fact Renee found it highly attractive that he wore his hair in that style. "Do you not like it?"

"It's totally you." She looked over his shoulder and saw Hotch come out of the bullpen. That didn't look good. She knew that he wouldn't be pleased that she was back. He was a stickler for the rules and Elle coming back would be breaking the rules. That and the rumor on the streets was that the new unit chief wasn't too pleased with their team.

"So, you're, uh, okay?" Reid asked. He had listened to Renee's worries about Elle's behavior and Reid worried that she was okay. He worried that Elle would be greatly affected by the shooting. He was a profiler and he knew that that could be considered a stressor. He didn't want to lump Elle in with the unsubs they chased but he had a bad feeling. He hoped that he was wrong.

"I didn't think you were back till next week." Hotch stated when he reached them. His face was stern and it reminded both Reid and Elle of a drill sergeant. While he seemed stern, there was some underlining concern there. Hotch cared about his team as much as he cared about his family. In many ways the team was a part of his family. It was his responsibility to make sure his agents were okay and were able to be in the field. He wasn't so sure Elle was ready for that.

"Oh, uh, I got a text message." Elle lied. While she wanted to be back, she didn't want to throw Renee under the bus. It was no secret that they spent time together. She couldn't look at Hotch in the eye and both Reid and Hotch knew she was lying but they didn't say anything. They let it slid. Perhaps that is the first mistake they made.

"Then it was a mistake." Hotch stated in a firm voice. He eyed her up and down and while she was physically healed, he didn't believe she was mentally.

"Is there a case?" She asked still unable to look at Hotch in the eye.

"Not until you're healthy." That was when she was fully able to look at Hotch. She hoped that he would be able to show some type of compassion.

"Yesterday afternoon I found myself looking forward to watching a soap opera." She felt like she had aged sixty years and that she was out of control of her own life. It was depressing staying inside with nothing to do. She could leave but she didn't have any friends in the city other than Renee. Before that had never bothered her because her life revolved around the BAU but once that was taken away, what did she have left?

"Oh, which one?" Reid asked. It was no secret that soap operas were a guilty pleasure of his. Renee often teased him saying that he "needed to catch up on his shows" when he would watch recorded episodes that he missed while away on a case.

"Please! Can you put me back to work Hotch?" Elle asked bluntly ignoring Reid. She gave Hotch the saddest eyes she possibly could, hoping that it would convince him to let her come back to work. She felt as though she was ready, or at least, she was trying to prove to herself that she was ready.

"The doctor hasn't cleared you for the field."

"Please Hotch!"

"You need more time." Hotch was concerned. He had talked to Reid about his visits with Elle. He knew that Reid hadn't seen her recently but he would ask about Renee's visits and Reid would relay what Renee would tell him.

"I've been out for four months. What I need is to go back to work." Hotch looked at her and she knew she had him. She smiled inside and did a brief victory dance.

"We are going to Cleveland. Reid's going to the crimes against children division. Go with him." Hotch stated as he handed her a file. His gut instinct was to send her home but he didn't. When he looked back on the moment he wondered why he did it. She tried to rebut but Hotch cut her off. "Or go home." He walked off in a hurry.

"I'm all yours Dr. Reid."

Renee was sitting on the couch watching the news. She was appalled. As a teacher learning that a school principal that she had met before was a pedophile sickened her. While she never worked with the man, there was a "field day" that all the elementary school participated in. She had only been to the one that was held the year before and at the event, she met Principal Rawlings.

He seemed like a nice man who truly loved children. From what she knew, he had a family of his own and she had respected the man. Yet, she wondered if she did see his unhealthy love for children. She wondered if she misunderstood his sexual attraction for children as a fatherly love. She had made a simple dinner but once she saw the news report she wasn't able to eat anymore. She felt sick.

She heard the door open and Reid came through. He took his gun off and sat it down on the table along with his holster. He ran his hand through his boy special hair and he looked tired but happy. The case ended exceedingly well. They were able to get Dustin Powers back with his mother and catch two pedophiles while doing so. He looked up and saw that Renee was watching the news report on Principal Rawlings.

Renee got up from the sofa and walked over to Reid. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. She inhaled his scent as he kissed the top of her head. He looked at the news broadcast and knew how Renee must feel. She worked with children and loved children but to see them being abused must kill her inside. He remembered when they first met and how upset she was over her missing student.

"Did your case involve kids?" She knew it did. She saw Reid on the television when the news broad cast was outside Principal Rawlings's school. He and Elle were entering the building following Hotch who had Principal Rawlings in custody.

"Yes."

"Did you get the bastard?" She asked in a muffled voice. He could tell that she was close to tears. She inhaled again and relaxed slightly. His scent always made her feel safer and better. She loved him and he always made her feel well again.

"Yes. We did. He is going away for a long time." He leaned down and kissed her head again. "We also saved a little boy today. Garcia tracked down his mother and they were reunited." That made Renee smile. That was a good thing and a happy ending to such a tragic story.

"Good." She pulled away from him and dried her eyes. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat." Renee led Reid into the kitchen. She pulled out some of the leftovers she had made before Reid came home. Renee wasn't the best cook in the world but she was getting better. Nora had been helping her and while she still burnt things, she did it less often. Reid looked at the food in with a weary glance. He bit his lip and Renee caught his look.

"I didn't burn it and yes it is cooked all the way through." It was a basic chicken casserole, one of the first meals she was able to make without ruining. So, she attempted to make it at least once every two weeks. Reid held up his hands in defeat and watched her reheat them. She sat the plate in front of him and he began to eat.

Renee walked around the counter and sat down on the empty stool. She leaned back and propped her legs onto Reid's lap. By instinct he grabbed a hold of them and rubbed. It was something they did now without even thinking about it. There were other synchronized habits that they did without even thinking.

Renee had a habit of kicking off her shoes without putting them away but Reid would do it for her. Reid would fling his sweaters over chairs or couches but Renee would gather them up for her. Reid would turn the coffee on in the morning and make two cups while she showered. Renee would iron the clothes that he laid out the night before. That and she always made sure that his socks didn't match. They fell into their little patterns.

Reid looked over at her and he loved their life that they built. He liked waking up with her in the morning, even though they had done it for most of their relationship. The difference now was that this was her permeate address. She loved living there and everything they had together, but she missed Nora. Seeing that, Nora spent a good bit of time at the loft, not that Reid minded. Nora lived in Georgetown in a new apartment that she adored. She was single and living life according to her.

Even though they lived together, Reid wanted more. They talked about marriage but it was more in the abstract than an actual commitment. It was like they knew that they would get married but they just didn't have an engagement or set plans. Reid wanted to change that. He wanted his ring on her finger. He was ready for that and he was pretty sure she was, but there was always those nerves invading him.

He didn't know if he could handle her rejection. He sighed and smiled. He knew he had some time before he would propose. He didn't have a ring yet and he still wanted to talk to her Gran. He lifted her foot and kissed the top of it. She smiled at him. It was that smile that made him fall in love with her in the first place. Their future looked bright but he had no idea of the shadows that would fall on them before they got there.

**A/N: I'm back! Okay, I wanted to address something from the reviews I got on the last chapter of **_**An Innocent Mind. **_**They wanted to know why I wrote the last scene that I called Reid "Reid." The answer is that that is how they refer to him in the show. He is Reid and only few people call him Spencer. Yes, Renee calls him Spencer but it wasn't written in her point of view. It was third person as is the whole series. Thus, he would be referred to as Reid. If it was in first person (ex. "Spencer and I went to the park") then yes, I would write Reid as "Spencer" but I write in third person. Anyway, those who pointed that out didn't have an account and were signed in as guests, thus I couldn't respond in a private message. **

**Anyway, Review please. **


	2. Chapter 2

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Two: Tactical Run-through

Jacksonville was hotter than what Reid was used to. He was used to heat seeing that he grew up in Vegas but nothing like this. He wasn't used to this humid air that made him feel as though he was losing all the water that his body held. Sitting in a crowded police station didn't help any. Gideon was suffering the worst of it. The man sweated more than the entire team combined.

Both Reid and Gideon were sitting in one of the detective's office, looking over the file. Gideon would stop every now and then to fan himself. He leaned his head back in annoyance. This heat was too much to tolerate. He looked over at his protégée and smiled. While he knew that the heat was getting to him but he still wore that boy special shirt with a tie. He would push the glasses that were sliding from the bridge of his nose because of the sweat back up closer to his eyes. Normally Reid would wear contacts, seeing that it made his job easier but he was having an odd reaction to them.

It was no secret that Gideon looked at Reid as a son. He had trouble with his own son Stephen who he was wasn't on speaking terms with. He couldn't blame Stephen, seeing that he wasn't really there while he was growing up. He was too busy chasing monsters. Yet, Reid was here right in front of him, alongside him during the chase. He didn't know if that thought comforted him or frightened him.

He had worried about Reid for a long time. Reid wasn't exactly the normal kind of guy. He had quirks and sometimes he repelled some of his peers. From what he understood it had always been that way. Reid didn't talk about his time in high school but he knew that it wasn't exactly pleasant. Gideon worried that this job would consume him and he would end up alone in life. While Gideon wasn't the best to judge since this job cost him his relationship with his son and his marriage, he at least had his girlfriend Sarah, who he had known since college, in his life now.

Then Renee entered the picture. While he was suspicious at first of the girl, his mind jumping to the conclusion that Renee might be using him for some purpose. However, those theories were thrown out the window when he met the girl. He couldn't find someone else who would be more perfect for Reid, even though he had always imagined that JJ and Reid would end up together. He was glad that he was wrong.

While Renee wasn't exactly perfect, she was perfect for Reid. She was pretty but not beautiful in the Hollywood sense. Her nose was slightly longer than normal and her left eye was slightly higher than the right one. They were superficial and would only be noticed if someone looked hard enough. She was also shorter than most, not even reaching five feet tall and could be easily overlooked. Yet, when Reid looked at her, it was like he was seeing the sun rise for the first time.

Her personality fit well with him too. She was shy and kept to herself but she had a kind heart. She wasn't a social butterfly and was more than happy to just spend the time with the friends she had instead of making new ones. They fit well together and Gideon knew that Reid was thinking about making it official. He knew that he hadn't done it yet and was fretting over it.

"Did you ask her yet?" Gideon asked even though he knew the answer. Reid snapped his head up and looked at his mentor. He was confused and didn't know what Gideon was asking. He frowned as he racked his brain. "Have you proposed to Renee?" He clarified.

"What-" Gideon silenced him with a look. Reid bit his lip. Of course he would be able to tell what Reid was planning to do. Gideon could read Reid like an open book. Mainly because he told him everything and Gideon was one of the best profilers there was so it made sense that the man could read Reid. The genius sighed and looked at his mentor. "No. I haven't. I don't even have a ring."

"Why? Have you looked?" Gideon asked. He genially wanted to know. There may or may not be a pool between other BAU members, mainly Morgan, Garcia and JJ, on when Reid would pop the question. Hotch wasn't in on it because he was their supervisor and if he knew (which he pretended he didn't) he would have to put a stop to it. Gideon wasn't in on it because Gideon was Gideon and wasn't the type to bother with such things. Elle while she knew about the pool, she wasn't really interested. Her mind was too busy with other things.

"Yes. I have went to jewelry stores and even looked online." He paused. "Which is surprisingly hard to do because Renee is at home and would know and at work Garcia would, well, I don't want to think about what she would do. I rather just go in person but my time is rather limited." Reid finished and looked at his mentor. Gideon nodded in understanding.

"Do you have an idea of what she would like?" He thought back to how he proposed to his ex-wife. It was a simple proposal; dinner, movie and an awkward moment in the park that was interrupted by a hoot from an owl. He knew that Reid would put more thought and effort into how he would ask her but he had to be just as nervous, if not more as Gideon was when he was first thinking about marriage.

"I've looked around and I don't think a diamond would fit her. I was thinking a pearl. She isn't big on jewelry so it is difficult. I think she would like either platinum or white gold." Reid paused again and smiled. He shifted and his posture straightened the way it did when he got excited. "Did you know that engagement rings only date back the Great Depression? While the engagement as been around for centuries, the ring was never a part of it. The engagement was mainly used for fathers and the groom to negotiate dowries. Also-"

"Reid, focus. What ring would Renee like?" Gideon coxed but Reid frowned. He honestly was at a lost for what to do. His eyebrows creased and he looked perplexed. "Do you have any idea at all? How will you ask her?"

"I don't know." Reid admitted. He hated those words strung together. He was used to being the brightest kid in the room but the thought of proposing brings confusion to his mind. He also was terrified. He was more terrified at the thought of Renee's rejection than he was that night on the football field when he was in high school.

"Have you thought about anything?" Gideon asked.

"Yes." He paused. He thought about it constantly. His mind worked so quickly and could process several things at once. It is what made him good at his job. Marriage with Renee was everything he thought about. He knew that it was what he wanted. Reid was scared of asking her and the possibility of rejection but the thought of being married to her pleased him. It didn't scare him to spend the rest of his life with her like it would most men. "I know that want it more than anything."

"Well at least you've started somewhere." Gideon teased.

Renee opened the door to her Gran's expensive townhouse. It was quiet which wasn't a surprise. When Renee came to live with her grandmother she learned quickly that her Gran preferred a quiet home. It didn't bother her much because she was always shy. However, with Hannah getting older that had been changing in small ways. Hannah would have the stereo on or the TV. Hannah liked noise and it drove Gran mad. Hannah was Renee's opposite and Gran didn't know how to deal with that.

Yet, the home was completely silent. It reminded her of her high school years. She shut the door quietly and inhaled. The smell of food cooking was drifting through the house. She smiled. Gran was cooking something. She kicked off her shoes and left them by the door. She would get them later. She tiptoed to the back where the kitchen was. Gran had her backed turned chopping some vegetables. There was a pan that was giving off the smell of fried chicken. She also could smell the cheese of scalloped potatoes.

"Hey Gran." Gran jumped and turned. She had a knife in her hand and pointed it at Renee. Gran threw a stern look in her direction. She just smiled and peaked around to see what her Gran was chopping. Broccoli. She smiled and laughed.

"And here I thought I taught you manners." Gran stated only causing Renee to laugh harder. She walked around the counter and picked up the tongs that where sitting by the stove. She flipped the chicken but Gran snatched the tongs out of her hands. While she was learning, the knowledge that Renee was one of the worst cooks in the world lived on.

"Where is Hannah?" Renee asked. It was Saturday and since Hannah had gotten grounded many months ago for sneaking out in the middle of the night, taking a cab across town to Reid's apartment, she had been home more often. The only time that Gran had been lenient with her about her grounding was on her twelfth birthday. For twenty-four hours, her punishment was lifted and she went wild. She had a "sleep over" that last till midnight because at midnight her punishment was reinforced.

"At a friend's house." Gran answered and then glanced at the clock on the wall. "She should be home soon. Are you staying for dinner? We have plenty." Gran offered.

"Yes and I didn't know she was off probation." Probation is what Renee called being grounded by Gran. Gran was like a prison guard. When she got in trouble in high school for taking a bus to New York City to visit her then boyfriend Jake, her punishment was just as atrocious if not worse than Hannah's.

"She has been off for about a week." Gran stated and gave her a stern look at the word 'probation'. Renee stuck her tongue out at her grandmother. She then plucked a piece of broccoli of the strainer she had just put them in to steam them. There was bonus to not living at home anymore. The scolding of eating the ingredients was more acceptable, only earning a light swat from the spoon.

"And let me guess, the first thing she did was make plans with friends?" Renee asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not even five minutes later she was on the phone." Renee laughed and shook her head. She couldn't blame her. Months of only being allowed to go to school and come home would have killed her. That and the fact that she didn't even get to spend the summer with her friends. Though Gran was generous and let her sit on the porch to read a book. That was it for her excitement.

"I could imagine." She paused as she watched Gran take the scalloped potatoes out of the oven and stirred them before putting them back in the oven. Renee felt her phone vibrate. She received a text from Reid saying that he would be home late. She sent a reply and smiled. She missed him and from their short conversations, he really hated Florida. "Do you think there will be enough for me to take home to Spencer? He is coming home tonight."

"There should be plenty." Gran stated. She flipped the chicken which had about a good eight pieces in the large pan. Gran was always one to overcook and Renee never really knew why. "In fact, call Nora and tell her to get her skinny but over here. She needs some fat on her bones. Oh, tell her she can bring her rent over with her instead of dropping it off tomorrow." Renee nodded and texted her friend and it wasn't long for Nora to reply. She would be over because Nora loved Gran's cooking.

"She will be here. She says she is still at the office but will be back soon." Gran nodded and laughed. She cut a small cut in the chicken to see if it was ready but even Renee could see a bit on pink on the inside. It wasn't done but it was still early in the day.

"Is she still seeing that dentist?" Gran asked and Renee had to laugh. While Gran was still well involved with her life, knowing just about every little thing, she sometimes forgets what goes on in her friends lives, even if she would tell her a thousand times.

"Denny? No. They had gotten back together but they broke up once summer ended." Renee said as she got a glass of water. While Nora always tried in relationship, she frankly wasn't the best in them. She didn't like to share things and that was her undoing. Denny was a sweet guy but it didn't work and Nora wasn't exactly heartbroken over it. She was always better single she stated.

"You'll end up married before she does." Renee choked on her water at Gran's words. Her eyes were wide. While she wanted to get married, she didn't really expect it to be any time soon.

"Gran!"

"What? You and Spencer have been together for awhile. It's bound to happen. Besides I see how that boy looks at you. I'm surprised he hasn't asked already." Renee just looked at her and Gran just looked back. "You've talked about it haven't you?"

"Yes but briefly." She paused and tried to remember their few conversations about marriage. While she knew Reid wanted to marry her but she didn't think it would be any time soon. Though that thought saddened her but Reid was worth the wait. "Honestly Gran, I doubt he is thinking about it right now."

"I think you are wrong." It was a simple matter of fact statement that caused Renee to shoot her a similar look that she had received. "Humor me. If he were to ask, what would your answer be?"

"Yes." She didn't even think about it. She wanted to marry him but she really didn't see it happening anytime soon. She would see her life with him and every time she imagined it, they were always married. She wanted that white picket fence with kids running around but she didn't think that Reid was ready to take that step.

"Well then, there is my answer." Gran just smiled at her. Both turned when they heard the front door slam and Hannah's voice sounded that she was home. Then the silence was broken.

Elle inserted her key into her lock. She slowly pushed open her front door and drew her weapon. She held her gun out in front and pushed it open further. She sat her bag down gently, making sure not to make a sound. She flicked on her light and looked around her living room. No one seemed to be there but there were still other rooms to check. Elle stepped inside and slowly moved through the apartment.

She did a tactical search through her entire apartment. Twice. She had been doing that since she had healed from her gunshot wound. Every time she left her apartment, she had this fear of returning home. While most of the team enjoyed coming home, it terrified Elle. She feared coming home and being murdered or anything else that may happen. She even had nightmares about it. Home is where you are supposed to feel safe and she never felt safe anymore.

Once the entire apartment was cleared, Elle took a breath and sat her gun down but not too far. She didn't want to have to dive for it again only to have it backfire on her. She entered her kitchen and grabbed something quick to eat. She glanced at the clock, it was late but not late enough to be early. She thought about getting some sleep but knew it wouldn't be restful. If anything she would be even more tired in the morning than she was the night before.

Elle opened up her freezer and looked inside. Nothing was there. Her fridge had a salad mix and some ranch dressing that Elle wasn't sure if it was editable. She looked and it wasn't expired so she opened the bag and poured the dressing inside. She rolled the top of the bag and shook. _Good enough. _She thought. It wasn't a gourmet meal but it would do for a late night after a case. After the Randall Gardner case, Elle stopped cooking for herself. The only food she really ate at her apartment was the bagels Renee would bring on Monday mornings. She ate better when she was away on cases.

She heard her phone vibrate and she got a bunch of mixed emotions. A part of her hoped that it was a case so she could be away from this dreadful apartment. However, another part of her got this fearful twinge that made her dread the thought. She didn't have that thrill anymore but she would take that alarming feeling of recklessness over the fear of being at home. She looked at the caller id and saw Renee's name flash upon the screen.

"Hello?" Elle answered and heard Renee's voice over the line.

"Welcome home." Her cheerful voice sounded and for some reason it made Elle squeeze in irritation. "I wanted to make sure you are okay."

"I'm fine." Elle responded and looked around the room. While she was glad no one was in her apartment she couldn't help but feel extremely lonely at the moment. She didn't have anyone to come home too. Almost everyone on the team did. Hotch went home to his wife and son while Reid went home to Renee. Morgan would either find some girl to spend the night with or spend the evening with Garcia. The only one who lived like she did was Gideon but she wasn't sure if he ever left the office. "Shouldn't you be with Reid?"

"He is in the shower." Renee answered and laughed. "He said that he needed to get the Florida heat off of him. It's funny for a man who grew up in Vegas would be afraid of a little heat." Her voice was happy and Elle envied her. She was living that American dream in many ways. Reid worshiped the ground she walked on. While Renee could sympathize with Elle, Elle believed that she had no idea the pain she was in. Elle was losing it and she could feel it.

"Well it was hot."

"I can imagine. Anyway there is another reason why I called." Renee laughed and pushed on. "I was having dinner with my Gran, sister and my friend Nora. Reid said that he had plans to go play chess with Gideon tomorrow so I was planning on a shopping trip with Nora. Want to join us?"

"I don't know." Elle was hesitant.

"Come on. It's the weekend. You just came back from a case and it would be a good way to unwind. Come on, it would be fun." Renee coaxed but Elle really didn't want to go. She wanted to be left alone. Before her attack, Elle would have jumped to go with Renee. She generally liked her and while they weren't the best of friends she still would have gone. After her father had attacked her in her apartment, they had lunch together while Reid would have his chess matches against Gideon at the park to be able to help Renee cope.

"I think I am just going to just stay home and relax." Elle stated and she could hear the disappointment on the other line. Elle felt bad but she really wasn't up to going out. She wasn't up to going out with anyone anymore. She was contemplating going back into the office instead of staying home. It would for the most part be empty.

"Okay." Renee paused but didn't say silent. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." With that Elle and Renee said their goodbyes.

Renee sat her phone down on the end table and just looked at it. Something wasn't right. Elle sounded off but she didn't know what to do about it. She heard the shower turn off and she saw Reid come out. He had a towel wrapped around his middle with another one that was in his hand. He was using it to dry his hair. He looked over to where she was standing and squinted.

"What's wrong?" Reid asked her. She bit her lip and sighed.

"I just got off the phone with Elle and she didn't seem right." Renee stated and Reid looked at her. He could understand her fear. Elle wasn't acting like herself. Something was off and Reid was worried about her and he knew Renee was as well.

"During the case she spent most of her time with JJ but other than that she stuck to herself." Reid answered. Renee all but flopped down on the bed. Reid followed her action and laid down beside her. They both looked at the ceiling. Reid pulled her toward him and she rested her head on his chest while he stroked her hair. He could tell that she was worried about her, they both were but he didn't know what to do.

"I'm worried about her." Renee whispered. He squeezed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. It was comforting and Reid always made her feel better than she had been before.

"I know. I worry about her too." He was silent for a few moments, letting Renee think but he knew that she was going to beat herself up over it. Renee had that habit; she pondered and dwelled on things. "Hey, let's not focus on it tonight okay? We should be celebrating."

"Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" Renee asked and her voice was teasing. Reid looked at her and kissed her. The words were at the tip of his lips. He wanted to ask them but the rational side took over. They were lying in bed and she was worried for a friend. It isn't the most romantic situation; that and the fact that he didn't have a ring and he knew that proposing without a ring wasn't a good idea.

"Celebrating that I am home." He stated instead. Renee laughed and leaned down to kiss him. She pulled away and took her shirt off before kissing him again. She sat up and straddled his legs.

"Okay, let's celebrate."

**A/B: Well, what do you think? Does anyone else think that Reid is really going to play chess with Gideon? Or does he have other plans in mind? **

**Review please.**


	3. Chapter 3

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Three: Needle in a Haystack

As the end of October approached Reid could feel the weather change. It was getting cooler and the colors on the tree were slowly changing. This was one thing he liked about living on the east coast instead of in the middle of the desert. Reid loved autumn, it was his favorite season. Reid decided that he would go out to the plaza after work. He worked through lunch and left a bit early. Hotch didn't seem to mind because Reid could tell that they would have a case tomorrow. He heard something about bank robberies and that was something they hadn't dealt with before.

He looked around the open plaza. Families were out an about enjoying the nice afternoon. He smiled and headed toward the small jewelry store on the corner. He had gone to several after the case in Florida but hadn't found anything that he thought Renee would like. However, he was rather impressed with this store and gave them his number for when they got new selections in. They called earlier that morning and Reid told them he would be in around five in the afternoon. He then called Renee and said that he would be working a bit later. She was fine with that since she made dinner plans with Nora. However, she later texted him the restaurant they were eating at and said she would bring something home for him. While that was all good, the restaurant they were eating at was in the plaza so Reid would have to be careful.

He saw the small store just a few blocks down and he began to pick up his pace, hoping he wouldn't be spotted. When he reached the door he opened it and smiled as he looked around. It wasn't big. It was tiny compared to some of the jewelry stores that he had been inside of. The walls were white and there were glass cases that surrounded the wall. There was a tall, red headed woman behind the counter. He knew it was Olivia, the granddaughter of the man who owned the store. After talking with the older gentleman, Reid knew that he was going to gift the store to Olivia for her thirtieth birthday.

He knew that Olivia was good at her job. She was a smooth talker and attempted to catch the sale but Reid was smarter than to fall for some line. He could tell that Olivia loved a challenge and getting Reid to buy a ring from her store would be a victory to her. Yet, Reid wasn't going to buy a ring that Renee wouldn't like. So, Olivia would call every time that she got any type of new jewelry in her collection and that was more often than he expected.

Reid listened to the little bell ring and saw Olivia's head pop up. She placed that fake smile on her face and Reid sighed. Here came the little song and dance. A part of him wanted to be able to buy Renee a ring so he could get away from the saleswoman. Reid thought that might be part of her sales pitch for a moment. She came around from the counter and held out her hand. Reid grasps it and shook.

"Dr. Reid! Welcome back. I am sure you will find something of your liking today." Olivia stated and all but dragged Reid over to the counter. She walked back around it and pulled out a small tray full of rings that Reid hadn't seen before. There was a tag on the front of the tray that read "new arrivals". Most of them were diamond rings but some of them were pearls. Yet, none of them really stood out. Some were dull and plain while others were too extravagant for Renee. "I think you will love this one."

Olivia pulled out a ring that was a beautiful platinum gold ring with a white pearl in the center. The band had several engravings that really showed the rings beauty. It was lovely, he had to admit. He listened to Olivia go on and on about the ring. It was an antique that was in great condition. It was a family heirloom from a young woman's family. She was in need of money and brought it in to sell. It was from the early nineteen hundreds but something about it didn't stand out him the way he had hoped.

"This isn't the one." Reid shook his head and he could tell that Olivia was disappointed but recovered quickly. She pulled out another ring that wasn't in the case when he was there the last time. It too was a pearl with a light pink accent to it. However, he could spot right away that the ring wasn't platinum gold like he wanted. There was a crown that covered the side of the pearl like a claw and there were two diamonds embedded on each side of the ring. This wasn't the ring either.

"No." Reid stated again. Olivia sighed in frustration. Normally she would have made a sale by now but Reid seemed to be one of the more difficult customers she ever had. Yet, she wasn't about give up on him just yet. She knew that people would be selling their jewelry more often with the economy the way it was and she might be able to find something that the good doctor would like.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like diamonds." Olivia asked. She had plenty of diamonds that he would be interested in. Pearl engagement rings were not exactly common and she had more diamond rings than she did pearl.

"No. Renee likes pearls." Olivia sighed and gave up. She showed him a few more pearl rings but nothing stood out. She told him that when she got more in that she would give him a call. Reid and Olivia shook hands again and parted. Reid exited the store and sighed. He knew that was going to happen. Finding the perfect wasn't as easy as it sounded.

Reid headed down the plaza and looked for the restaurant that Renee and Nora were eating at. He would tell her that he finished his case load earlier than he expected and decided to meet them. He walked quickly and soon found them. They were eating at one of the tables that were stationed outside. It was a nice day out and wasn't cold. He knew that Renee loved the summer weather and was still dreading the oncoming cold. So, the dinner outside made sense to him.

"Well well well, look who decided to join us." Nora teased and Renee looked up. She smiled when she saw him. She stood and went to greet him. They kissed briefly and he could hear Nora making gagging noises from her seat. He felt Renee move her hand but didn't know what she did with it but he heard Nora laugh. They broke apart and Renee returned to her seat while Reid took the vacant one.

"I thought you had to work late." Renee stated. She wasn't disappointed in fact she was ecstatic. Renee's smile was bright and Reid just laughed. Nora raised her eyebrow in a teasing manner.

"I got my paperwork done quicker than expected. Plus we might have a case tomorrow so Hotch let us out early." He paused and kissed Renee's cheek when she looked disappointed. "I knew the two of you were having dinner here so I thought I'd join you." Reid stated. Nora just looked at him as though she wasn't buying his story but Renee seemed too disappointed to really notice the flaw in his logic.

"You have a case tomorrow?" While she was supportive of his job, she got sad when he had to leave. When she lived with Nora and Nora would have over night dates, she was used to spending the evening alone. However, it was different when Reid left. She had gotten so used to having him lying in the bed next to her. She didn't like waking up to a cold bed alone.

"Looks like it." Her shoulders slumped and Reid kissed her cheeks. He found it sweet that she missed him because he never really had someone miss him before, other than his mother. He put his arm around her and turned to Nora. He asked her how she was doing and she replied. They made ideal chit chat for awhile and Reid ordered something when the waitress came by with the appetizer Nora and Renee had ordered. He felt bad for crashing their dinner but Nora stated that she didn't mind. She understood that since Reid would be leaving in the morning that Renee would want to spend as much time as she could with Reid. Besides, she stated that when he was out of town, Renee was all her's.

"I'm going to use the bathroom. I'll be right back." Renee stated and kissed Reid's cheek again. She walked away and once Renee was out of hearing range, Nora turned on Reid.

"Spill." It was a demand, not a request. She was all but leaning over the table glaring at him. It wasn't menacing but curious. She knew better than to distrust Reid, seeing that he all but saved Renee's life and most men would stick around after that, but Reid had. So, the fact that he was lying, and badly, she knew something was up.

"What?" Reid asked. He knew that Nora was searching for something and that he wasn't exactly truthful when he sat down. She gave him that look and Reid just stared at her right back. He stared down unsubs and this woman was not going to break him…..he hoped. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Okay. Let me spell it out for you. I know the whole 'I got done with my work load early' was just bull shit. You didn't come here by choice but was already here for some reason. Now, spill." Nora stated. Reid sighed and shook his head. He ran his hair through his hair and straightened his glasses.

"You would make a great profiler you know." He stated but Nora just rolled her eyes.

"Spill."

"Alright. I was at the jewelry store a few blocks down." He paused and looked at Nora. Her eyes got wide and her smile grew. She looked as though she was about to squeal in excitement but was containing it. She bit her lip and motioned for Reid to continue. "I was looking for engagement rings." With that Nora did let out her squeal of excitement. It caused some other guest to look over in their direction with annoyance.

"Let me see!" Nora stated but was disappointed when Reid said that he didn't have a ring. He then went on to explain that nothing really fit. "Renee isn't one for jewelry."

"I know and that is making it difficult." Reid slumped and Nora knew what he was going through. "I have been thinking that she would like a pearl ring more than a diamond one. It can have diamonds in it but I think a pearl would be more appropriate."

"You're right. I think she would like that." Nora agreed. "I can't believe Renee is getting married." She sounded amazed but happy. She got this dreamy look on her face and said something about her getting to be a bridesmaid.

"I haven't asked her yet." Reid protested.

"Yet being the key word."

The bullpen was busy. Agents were bustling about doing their respective jobs. It was early and he knew that Morgan, who was slumped in his chair, and Elle who was twirling her pen were both still working on their case files. They were in a hurry because they knew that JJ would be presenting a new case today. They were hoping to get those done before having to come back in a few days with even more case work than before. Reid however was the only one done and was really just sitting at his desk thinking about the rings Olivia had shown him the day before.

Nothing fit and he was getting frustrated. He even came in early so he could browse jewelry stores online but once he saw Morgan walk through the glass door with his go bag in toe he shut down that web browser. Morgan was so rushed that he didn't even stop to make some snide remark and Elle was Elle; distant and withdrawn from everyone in the bullpen. It got to the point that no one really engaged her anymore and he couldn't blame them.

Reid glanced at the clock and saw the time. If he went to her office now, Reid could get a quick word in with JJ before she started her briefing. He sighed, not really wanting to go where they had to, wherever that was. Whatever evil they face would take time away from his marriage pursuit with Renee. While he loved Renee and this job he knew it couldn't be any other way. If he wanted both, which he did, he would have to make compromises. He sighed and got up from his seat. He walked slowly down the hallway toward JJ's office. It was open but he still knocked before heading inside. JJ was there rummaging around gathering what he assumed she would need for the brief.

"Hey JJ, can I have a word?" Reid asked and JJ turned around. She looked at him confused and he could tell that she was busy. He felt bad for disturbing her. He could have waited for the plane ride but most of that time was used to go over the case. He could have waited for the ride home but he honestly didn't know if he could wait that long. He needed advice from a woman who wasn't exactly close to Renee. He needed a woman's perspective on what woman liked in a proposal. While he did as much research as he could, he wanted to get a real live breathing woman's opinion. He couldn't ask Renee because that would give it away and Nora knew her too well that she would tell him exactly what to do. He needed to come up with this on his own. That and he didn't feel exactly comfortable planning a romantic evening with Nora.

"Can it wait? We have to be in LA in a few hours and I still have to give the briefing." JJ stated but then she looked at his face and she could tell that he was nervous. She bit her lip and sat down her files. "Is everything okay? You seem nervous about something."

"Oh, I'm fine. I just need some sisterly advice." He knew the 'sisterly' comment would melt her. She always did look at Reid as a younger brother of sorts. JJ looked at her watch and smiled.

"I think I can spare a few minutes." JJ sat down on her desk and motioned for the seat that was adjacent to it. Reid took the seat as he was indicated and bit his lip. "Whatever it is, it can't be bad so just spit it out already."

"I want to ask Renee to marry me but I have no idea on how to do it." He paused and looked at JJ's shocked face. She smiled after a moment but Reid didn't feel her excitement. "I can't even find the right ring. It's so frustrating."

"Have you looked?" JJ asked. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to get all the details but time was a constraint. If worse cam to worse, she would drag him to the back of the plane and pull it out of him. Reid couldn't help but notice the smile that had taken up permanent residence on her face.

"Of course I've look, high and low but still nothing." He seemed so upset and disappointed. JJ walked toward him and took his hand into hers. She could tell that he wanted to be engaged to her already. While Reid could be considered one of the more patient members of the team but she knew that when he really wanted something he was more like a spoiled child who wasn't getting his way.

"Well, I think it is great that you aren't settling for a ring. You want it right to wait to find the right one. It shows that this really means something to you." She paused and bit her lip. "As for on how to propose, I honestly can't tell you how to do it."

"Why not?" He was confused. Wasn't JJ a woman and didn't all woman have certain guide lines on how to propose? He did research but he couldn't find anything creditable. JJ would be the closest thing to Renee that he really could ask for help. That and she wouldn't tease him about anything.

"Because we are all different Spence. Something that may work for me may not work for her. You know her better than anyone. You just have to think about what she would like." JJ paused and looked at Reid's distraught look that was upon his face. She wanted to help but she truly couldn't tell him what to do.

"You can't help me at all?"

"Look, focus on the ring first. Then once you find that, focus on the proposal. It doesn't have to be something grand but it should be meaningful." Reid nodded and JJ smiled. "Come on. We have a case in LA."

"I hate LA."

"Don't we all."

The plane ride from LA back toward Quantico was quiet. It was late, nearing midnight, and most of the team was asleep. Reid was lying down with his feet propped on Morgan's legs, who was also asleep. Morgan's headphones were placed on his ears but the music had stopped playing awhile ago. JJ's head was lying on the back of her seat and Elle mirrored her position. The only ones awake where Hotch and Gideon. They discussed their work and while it was satisfying in many ways but it strained every other part of their lives.

Hotch looked at his sleeping team on the plane and sighed. He was getting strained and he knew that it was affecting his marriage. He wasn't there for his son as much as he wanted to be. He wouldn't admit it but he knew this job is what caused the ruin of Gideon's marriage and that it cost him the relationship with his son. He only hoped that his life wouldn't one day mirror his.

Hotch worried about his team. He looked at JJ and thought about the sacrifices she had to make. From what he understood, she didn't go out. She didn't act like young girls in their late twenties acted. She sat in her office, shifting through cases and picking one out of hundreds. He knew that the cases she didn't pick stuck with her. JJ would always wonder if she made the right choice. She wondered how many lives she would cost if she didn't pick that case.

Morgan never formed any sort of real relationship outside of work. If he did find a girlfriend, it didn't last more than a few weeks if that. He was promiscuous and Hotch could break it down and profile but he rather he didn't. He knew he wouldn't like what the profile would tell him. They all had secrets and he knew that Morgan's might be harder to handle that what he would like to think.

Elle never worried him before but lately, after being shot by Randall Gardner, she wasn't the woman he had hired for his team. That ambition was all but gone. She came to work and while she stayed late, her case files weren't as detailed as they had been before. She was colder toward her teammates than she had been before. While she wasn't exactly maternal and didn't always give the best advice, she would listen and she cared. Before she always was a good shoulder to lean on for Reid but now when he was trying to help her, she all but pushed him away.

Reid used to be the one he worried about most but since he met his girlfriend it was like his personality changed for the better. He was happier than he had ever seen him. Before Renee the happiest he had ever seen him was the first few weeks he had been in the BAU. Since then Reid calmed down. Yet, the happy that he exuded was a calm satisfied type of happiness. Very different from the over excited puppy happy that he had when he first joined the BAU.

"They will be fine." Gideon stated as he looked at his unit chief. "Most of them anyway."

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked. He thought back to the days when Gideon was team leader. But after the incidents in Boston and Hotch took over, Gideon seemed calmer and slightly wiser. He was more than happy to step down and allow Hotch to take over.

"JJ is a strong girl. She can take anything that is thrown at her. Morgan is Morgan. He is good at what he does and is good at distracting himself when things get personal. Garcia is always happy and rarely lets anything get her down. Reid is well, he is Reid." Gideon paused and smiled. "You know he is thinking about proposing?"

"You're kidding?" Hotch was amazed but on later reflection, it wasn't so surprising. He smiled and thought about what a married Reid would be like. He couldn't really picture it. It would be like an interesting science experiment that he would get to see firsthand. Gideon nodded and Hotch laughed. That he could view as a good thing. "You didn't mention Elle."

"I know."

"You think we have to worry?" Hotch asked. While Gideon may not be the unit chief anymore, he still valued the older man's opinion. He had been doing this job for a lot longer than he had. He had seen much more than he had, and Hotch had seen plenty. Yet, no matter how good he was at reading his team, Gideon always seemed to be a step ahead of him in that respect.

"Very much so." He paused. "She isn't right, hasn't been since the Gardner case. I blame myself for that." It was true. He always blamed himself for Elle getting shot. If he hadn't insisted on a press conference, Gardner wouldn't have entered her house and shot her when she came home. He truly blamed himself and not that she was unraveling, he didn't know what to do for her.

"You can't blame yourself Gideon. You didn't know and couldn't have known." Hotch reasoned. He looked at the older profiler and sighed. He knew he wasn't getting through and that Gideon would blame himself until the day that hell freezes over. "You ever have a bad feeling? Like something isn't going to end well?"

"With Elle?"

"Yes."

"Lately, all the time."

**A/N: Here we go. For those who watch the show (which I assume all of you have or you wouldn't be reading the fanfiction) you know what happens in the next episode. However, if I do have any readers who have not seen the show, I will save what I want to say for my next author note (if I remember what I want to say). **

**I wanted to work more with the team because I feel like I was neglecting them (other than Elle) and focusing on the marriage proposal area (which I have my reason that can't be mentioned now). So, this was the perfect chapter to incorporate that.**

**Some will ask why Garcia wasn't mentioned in Hotch's "thoughts" and that was because he was looking at those in front of him. **


	4. Chapter 4

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Four: Here's to Winning

Reid stood in the break room of the bullpen. He poured himself some coffee and checked the clock. It was late, much later than what he was used to being at the office. Almost everyone had gone home and the cleaning crew was there preparing for the next day. He knew JJ hadn't gone home because she was still trying to pick a case. He knew that she would often stay late just to make sure she made the right choice. Reid knew that his job was difficult but he would never want her job for the world. He wouldn't be able to choose what case to take; he would want to take them all.

Gideon was up in his office doing either work or something else. Reid never questioned him. Ever since the team learned that he had done some work for the CIA, Reid often wondered if the late hours he pulled were for the BAU or if they were for something else. While he knew Gideon better than anyone else on the team, he still was such a mystery to Reid. Elle also stayed behind but Reid didn't really know why. He had heard that she had been staying later and later than she had before. From what Renee told him, she was never at her apartment on their normal Monday morning breakfast. That and she was always the first one in and last one to leave. Reid wondered if she ever really left at all.

Reid knew about pulling late hours but hasn't really done it since he had gotten together with Renee. He liked to be home at a reasonable hour. However, as Reid stood there pouring his coffee that this was different. Renee had told him that she was having a sisterly night with Hannah and for his safety; he might want to come home late. He didn't really understand but when she said "it was a girl thing" he backed as far away as he could and all but ran to the office. While he loved Renee and cared for Hannah like she was his sister, teenage girl things scared the living daylights out of him.

"Hey chico, what are you thinking so hard about?" Elle asked him and he jumped. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her approach. Reid took a good look at Elle and sighed. She didn't look well. There were bags under her eyes that told him she wasn't sleeping. She was thinner than before and she just had an unhealthy look to her.

"Nothing. I'm just tired." He stated. He expressed his concern to her before and she always blew him off as though it was nothing. He didn't want to deal with that now. He was too tired and had thought about going home but his fear of what Renee and Hannah might be up to really scared him. He wanted to marry Renee but it was moments like these that made him realize that he didn't understand females at all.

"Doesn't anybody ever go home?" Gideon asked causing Elle to look over her shoulder as she poured her coffee. Reid looked at him as he went toward the refrigerator to get something out of it.

"You're here." Elle stated in an irritated tone. Reid sighed. Elle and Gideon used to have this almost father-daughter relationship but now that seemed to just disappear. Ever since Elle came back from her recovery time, she pulled away from everyone and Reid could tell that Gideon blamed himself. He knew that Gideon cared for Elle, like he did for the rest of his team, but Gideon didn't know how to help her.

"Exactly. Trust me you don't want to model your social life on mine." Gideon stated, hoping to be able to shoo the others from the office. It wasn't healthy, he knew that but he was older. These people still had a chance to live and they were spending most of their time in the office. He didn't want them making the mistakes that he had made. Yet his heart sank when he saw JJ come through the glass doors, which really only meant one thing.

"If it makes you feel any better, Hotch and Morgan took off." JJ stated as she set some files down on the table. Both Reid and Elle sat around it while Gideon came to stand by JJ.

"Hotch is married and Morgan is Morgan." Reid stated as he munched on some peanuts. JJ laughed and Elle smirked. Gideon picked up a file and began looking through it. However, JJ remained smiling at Reid. She was one of the few people who knew that he was planning on proposing to Renee. She was excited for him but she didn't know if he proposed yet or even found a ring. He has been rather tight lipped about it and she could get anything out of him.

"True. Why are you still here Spence? Shouldn't you be home with Renee?" JJ asked and Elle watched them interact. Before, she would have piped in and gave her two sense but now, she felt like an outsider looking in. She didn't feel connected with the team anymore.

"She and Hannah are having some type of girl's night. Something about Hannah becoming a woman." Elle choked on her coffee and JJ just looked at him. He looked so clueless, as if he didn't understand. He just sat there eating his peanuts as though nothing had happened. Either he was looking at it the only way a genius can, as something scientific and biological or he didn't understand.

"What's this?" Gideon asked as he looked at the file. JJ still not being able to pull her gaze from Reid answered him.

"The police in Dayton, Ohio need our help with a serial rapist." JJ stated as she pulled her gaze from Reid and focused on the photos that were inside the file.

"What's the story?" Elle asked. This is what JJ was worried about, Elle's reaction. She had sat in her office going over the pros and cons of this case. Everyone in the BAU knew Elle had issues and this case was very close to what had happened to her. She didn't know how she would take it. JJ considered just taking another case but this was pressing and it needed their help more than some of the other ones that came across her desk. In the end, she had to take it and she could only hope that Elle would be okay.

"Three months ago he raped five students at a small bible college, roughly an attack a week and then suddenly, nothing," JJ laid out the photos of the students that had been attacked. The entire table looked at the unfortunate girls "till nine days ago when he suddenly reappeared with a whole new victim pattern." She looked down at the picture that was in her hand. She handed it to Gideon. He took it from her, confused. It didn't make sense. These women were older than the college students. "Both of those women are in their thirties. They were raped about five days apart."

"Where were the new attacks taken place?" Gideon asked and JJ sighed. She was going to leave that part out until she could talk with Hotch but Gideon just had to ask. Her eyes flickered toward Elle before answering.

"Opposite ends of the city. He was waiting for them when they got home." With that Reid looked at Elle as well. They all knew what she was thinking. Randall Gardner waited for her when she arrived back at her home in a sleep deprived state. This rapist motive was similar to that attack and neither JJ nor Reid were sure if Elle would be able to handle that. Elle coughed and sat back in her chair, she couldn't make eye contact with her team.

"How do we know it's the same guy?" Elle asked. She hoped to pull the attention off of her and back to the case.

"He leaves voice mails for them." JJ answered. Elle could see the look of concern on her face but frankly, she didn't want it. She could do this job and she was tired of everyone thinking she couldn't.

"Freezing them with fear before they even see him." Reid stated as he looked at the file.

"They don't recognize the voice?" Gideon asked.

"No. Copes even have DNA but it's not in the system."

"Why does someone attacking college student's suddenly widen his net?"

"Serial rapists hardly ever change victimology once it's established. It's based on a fantasy. It's very specific." Reid stated. He was just as confused has Gideon.

"Maybe he is telling them that no one is safe." Elle stated. That made everyone pause. That was it. Elle didn't feel safe. Reid didn't understand why he didn't see it before. She was still scared. That is why she spends all her time in the office. She was scared to go home. She was scared that someone would be waiting for her, and this time they would succeed in killing her.

"Call Hotch and Morgan, tell them wheels up as soon as we are cleared for takeoff." Gideon stated as he gathered up the photos and files.

"Yes sir."

Reid stood in his hotel room. Books were scattered across his bed. He was trying to focus on the case but he couldn't. Worry about Elle was flooding his mind. This case was too similar. How these women were attacked was almost retelling Elle's attack. While it was a key part of their job to be able to relate to the victims, he feared that Elle would relate too much. Some could say that she was a victim much like these women were.

He bit his lip and paced. He didn't like this. He needed to make sure she was okay. He decided and turned toward the door. He was hurried and all but ran out the door toward Elle's hotel room. He knocked in a familiar pattern that he hoped would lighten her mood. She opened the door and looked at him.

"Hey." He said in a soft voice. He looked at her and he could smell the alcohol rolling off of her. Drinking while on a case wasn't a good thing. It was one of those unwritten rules of procedure. Drinking clouded the mind and in a job like theirs, the mind needed full access.

"Hi."

"You okay?" He asked. He knew that she was sick of hearing people ask her that, but he needed to one last time. Every time she would say she was fine but he never believed her. He wanted to be there for her seeing that she was his friend and a friend to Renee. They cared about her and they didn't like to see her suffer. This case was too close to home for her.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She asked. Reid sighed and saw the mask that went over her face. She was stony and lying. Reid looked down and sighed. She needed to talk to someone and he would make her if he had to. He brushed passed her into her hotel room without even glancing at her. Elle didn't stop him and just watched him do it. "No. Really. Come right in."

She closed the door and just gave him a stony look. She grabbed two of the small bottles of vodka from her mini fridge and went to sit at the table that was by the window. Reid just watched her do it. Elle rolled her eyes at him. She was off the clock and so what if she was drinking? "Want to check my ID?"

Reid just watched her pour the vodka into a glass and counted three open and empty bottles on the table. He sat down on the dresser and watched her. He sighed.

"I thought maybe you might want to talk." Reid stated. He knew he wasn't good at this. Everyone told him their secrets but he never had to give advice before. He was the one always seeking it. Now the tables had turned and he was the one in the counseling position. He only hoped that he could help her.

"Don't go all profiler on me." She huffed and took a big sip of her vodka. Elle looked at him over the glass and sighed. She knew he wasn't going to leave anytime soon and that irritated her. Was it so wrong for her to just want to be alone?

"Elle, you go shot in your own home and then came back to the BAU like nothing even happened. Thinking that you might want to talk isn't profiling. It's psyche 101." He laughed lightly. He thought that throwing in a small joke might lighten the mood. Yet Elle didn't crack a smile. She just sighed and took another drink. He just stared at her. He shot her the puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

Elle sat her glass down and picked up another small bottle of vodka. He held it out as though she was offering it to Reid. Reid stood from the dresser and walked slowly over to the table. Reid wasn't much of a drinker, never really felt comfortable doing so but if it made Elle feel better, a sip or two wouldn't hurt. She slid it toward him and he poured it into his own glass.

"After he shot me he reached into my wound so he could write on the wall in my blood." She paused and Reid just looked at her. He could tell that this was difficult for her so he didn't say anything. "I was barely conscious but I could feel his hand in there and sometimes it's like I can still feel it."

"Elle, he's dead. You're right here. You won." Elle just looked at him. Normally she would have been annoyed but this time, she was just sad. While he may see it has a win, she didn't feel like she won. In fact, everyday it felt as though Randall Gardner beat her. It was as if she was still losing to a dead man. He still haunted her and she didn't know if she ever would be free of him. She picked up her glass as though she was toasting him.

"Then here is to winning."

"Hey Lee?" Elle reached for her gun and turned around. William Lee, a serial rapist who has been haunting Dayton, Ohio turned to face the agent who let him walk. Her gun was out and before he could even register it, she fired. Elle fired once and when he didn't hit the ground right away, she fired again, this time causing him to fall. Her gun was still outright and she just looked at him. She killed him and she didn't feel a thing. She wasn't sorry. He was dead and she was here. She won. For the first time, she won.

She walked over to his body and looked down at it. Lee wasn't moving. She walked to the other side and bent down. She touched him briefly and then stood back up and pulled out her cell. It wasn't long before police where there. She had a story. She would stick to it.

She was there on a stakeout.

He attacked her.

It was self-defense.

It was a lie.

Renee entered the same bar where she first met Reid's team. She had gotten a text from her boyfriend asking her to meet him there. He had called her before they had taken off and he didn't sound right. Something was off but she could put her finger on it. It worried her. Normally he would just come home when he returned from a case and not go out to a bar. He didn't bother her that Reid wanted to have a drink with his friends but asking her to join him was odd to her.

Renee liked his team mates, she was even on agreeable terms with Morgan, but she didn't go out with them often as Reid did. The fact that he called her to join them, sounded desperate, told her something just wasn't right. He needed her comfort but something had to have happened for the team to get together.

She looked around and found them near the back of the bar. Not all of the team was there as she expected. Along with Reid, only JJ, Morgan and Garcia were seated around the table. She walked to back quickly and approached the table. She put her hand on Reid's shoulder. He turned and smiled at her but it didn't reach his eyes. Looking around at the faces seated at the table all of them were down casted.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she sat down into the empty seat that was beside Reid. JJ and Garcia looked at each other but didn't say anything. Morgan was too busy staring at his beer that looked as though he didn't even take a sip. Reid sighed and looked at Renee. He knew that his team was going to leave that job up to him.

"The case didn't end as we had hoped." Reid stated. He thought back to the last twelve hours he couldn't wrap his brain around Elle's choices. "Elle went undercover. It wasn't a dangerous mission and she had back up the entire time but she got scared and panicked." Renee was confused. So whatever went wrong was with Elle. Panic filled her, was Elle okay? Was she hurt? Was she….

"Is she okay?" Renee whispered. She didn't know if Elle was alive or dead and while they had drifted, Renee still cared for her. She didn't know how she would feel to attending her funeral. The last funeral she was at was her mother's and that was extremely painful. She didn't know if she could do it again.

"Physically, yes but we are not so sure about mentally." Morgan chimed and Renee looked at the senior agent. His jaw locked and his fingers tapped the table in the annoyance. He was frustrated and angry but Renee couldn't tell at who. Was he angry at Elle? Himself? The team? Who? She still didn't know what was going on.

"What happened?" Renee asked and Reid took a deep breath before continuing.

"The unsub was a serial rapist who was attacking woman in their homes. Elle went undercover as bait but she panicked and the unsub walked." Renee nodded. She could see the problem right there. Elle shouldn't have been undercover. JJ was a woman and extremely more stable. Couldn't she go undercover?

"She was okay with this? Of course she would be." Renee huffed. Elle was one of those people who would deny they needed help until the last second or until they cracked. From what Renee was gathering, Elle cracked and she was just worried that Elle was cracked beyond repair.

"We told her she didn't have to do it but she insisted." JJ stated. "I should have done it. I would have been a better choice."

"You are to young JJ. He was going after woman in their late thirties. You are not even out of your twenties." Morgan stated. He took Garcia's hands in his because she was crying. Usually Garcia was chatty but now she was in tears. "Hell, Elle was too young. She's just over thirty."

"Then I shouldn't have picked this case!" JJ insisted. She was blaming herself and Morgan knew she shouldn't. It wasn't anyone's fault other than Elle's and JJ made the right call. This case was the one that needed them the most. She knew that or she wouldn't have picked it.

"What do you think will happen with the investigation?" Garcia's sobbing voice asked. Renee could see that she was shaking. Renee watched the interaction with interest. If an outsider would look at Morgan and Garcia, they most likely would see a highly odd couple but Renee knew the truth. While Morgan loved Garcia she knew it would never be romantic. While they clicked in an odd way, they just didn't click like that.

"Investigation?"

"There is an investigation into Elle." Renee was confused at Reid's words. "The unsub is dead and Elle is claiming self-defense." Reid stated and Renee froze. While she wasn't a genius it didn't take much to connect the dots. If the unsub was dead and there was an investigation into Elle then one plus one equaled Elle killing the unsub.

"If she said self-defense then it has to be self-defense." Renee wanted to believe that. She knew in their line of working, taking a life was an extreme downside of their job. She remembered Reid coming to her early in their relationship after he had killed Philip Dowd. Since being take hostage in the ER, Reid didn't have any more blood on his hands but she knew that his hand had been forced. Was Elle's? Or did she give it freely?

"The circumstances are odd. They don't add up to self-defense. They were in an abandoned ally, alone. She claimed that he attacked her but there were no marks on her. The unsub wasn't armed and he was shot from at least five feet away. The evidence is piling up against her. It doesn't look good."

"She just killed him? I mean I understand that he was a horrible person but still. You just don't kill someone like that. I just-" Renee was at a loss for words. She didn't know how to process the information she just received. Someone she considered a friend might have just murdered a man. How would she be able to ever be able to look her in the eye? She understood that Elle was having a hard time, having been in her shoes but when her father attacked her in her apartment, she didn't go off and kill someone.

"It could be self-defense. She could be telling the truth." JJ stated but her voice wavered. It was as if she was trying to make herself believe it.

"Do you really believe that JJ?" Morgan asked and JJ didn't answer. Her silence was an omission that made it obvious that she didn't believe in Elle's reasoning. She believed her to be guilty and Renee was beginning to believe it too.

"She killed him in cold blood." Renee stated. She took Reid's hand and brought it into hers. She laid her head against his shoulder. He brought her closer and wrapped his arms around her. He called her and asked her to meet them here because he needed the comfort.

"Looks like it."

**A/N: I wanted to get this chapter out as fast as possible because for those who watched the show knew that this was coming. We all know that this was a game changer in season two. Not the biggest thing to happen but it the next chapter will be big in how I play it. **

**Review please. **


	5. Chapter 5

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Five: From Hello to Goodbye

Renee stepped out of the shower and grabbed her robe. She wrapped herself in the white fuzzy robe and tied it. She flipped her hair so that it was hanging in front of her face. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her head so that her hair was held tightly in the towel. She went to the sink and opened the medicine cabinet. She pulled out her toothbrush along with the paste and began her routine.

She could hear Reid bustling about in the bedroom. It was the morning and she knew that Reid was nervous. Since the death of William Lee and Elle being suspected of his murder, the entire team had been tense. JJ, Morgan and Garcia had been common visitors at their place. While there was familiar teasing amongst them, they mainly talked about Elle and whether they believed her innocence.

Reid wanted to believe that Elle wasn't capable of murdering anyone. However, Morgan fully believed that Elle was guilty. JJ and Garcia didn't know what to think and they didn't know how the investigation would turn out. Renee knew why Reid wanted to believe that Elle was innocent. He had talked with Elle while in Ohio and he truly believed her to be fine. The fact that he didn't see how much she really was struggling made him feel guilty. She told him that he needed to talk with someone on the team about his conversation with Elle but he didn't want to. She knew that he would keep it to himself until he couldn't anymore.

She then told him that what Elle did wasn't his fault. Elle made her decision even if none of them knew what exactly had happened. All they knew was that Elle pulled the trigger and now she had to live with that. From watching Reid live with the fact that he killed Philip Dowd, she knew it wasn't going to be easy. Reid still sometimes had nightmares about Philip Dowd's death. Yet, there was no question in whether Reid killed Philip Dowd in self-defense or not. It was a proven fact where with Elle, that wasn't the case.

Renee heard Reid's phone ring and him going for it. She knew that he was all but diving for his phone. She knew that that phone call consisted of Elle's fate. None of them had gone out of town for two weeks while the FBI did their investigation. While she liked having Reid home, it was tense and uncomfortable. The entire team was on edge.

His words were muffled and it wasn't long before she heard him hang the phone up. She heard the mattress creaking, knowing that he had sat down. That didn't tell her anything. Renee finished brushing her teeth and then spit out the toothpaste. She took her hair out of the towel and began to dry it with the towel. She opened the bathroom door and saw Reid sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. He wasn't dressed and Renee could tell that he had been pacing, waiting for that phone call.

"Spencer? You okay?" Renee asked. She felt silly. She sat down beside him. He sat up and ran his hand through his already messy hair. She took her hand and grabbed one of his hands. She kissed his knuckles and he sighed. She moved his hands and straddled his lap before wrapping her arms around him. She leaned in and kissed him and he responded. "Talk to me."

Reid reached up and pressed his hand against her face. He traced her cheekbone with his thumb. He kissed her gently. He rested his forehead against her's. He pulled her close and inhaled her damp hair. Her scent gave him comfort. "Later." He whispered to her. She nodded and he reached for the ties on her robe. He pushed the fabric off of her and showed her bare body. They kissed again as Reid flipped them so she was on the bottom.

Renee spread her legs and she brought her toes to the top of his pajama bottoms. She pushed them down his legs with her feet. Reid's hands traveled down her body and reached her core. Reid inserted two fingers into her core and Renee's arched at feeling of pleasure that Reid was bringing. She moaned Reid's name, chanting it like a prayer. Soon, Renee found herself flying and she shut her eyes, drinking in the feeling.

Before Renee was fully able to come down, Reid slid himself inside of her. They made love slowly without taking their eyes off of each other. It was slow and gentle. They looked at each other as they climaxed. They stayed in that position and breathed deeply. Their foreheads touched and they kissed lightly. Reid pulled out and rolled on his back. Renee curled up to Reid's side and rested her head on his chest.

She traced lazy on his chest. She could hear his heart beat and Renee leaned so she could kiss the area where his heart was. Reid ran his hands through her wet hair. She knew that while their love making was a much needed distraction for him, not that she was complaining, his mind was still on the issues at work.

"You have to go to work soon." Renee stated. Reid leaned over and kissed the top of her head. She could feel him nod. "What did the phone call say?"

"The bureau finished their investigation. Elle's been cleared." He sounded breathless and Renee didn't know if it was because of their activities or if it was because that he was just relieved.

"That's a good thing. Isn't it?" Renee asked. She wanted to believe that since Elle was cleared that made her innocent. Yet, Renee wasn't naive enough to believe that it worked that way. She bit her lip and thought back to the last time she had breakfast with Elle. It was the day that Elle barged back into the BAU. She now wondered if she should have made her stay instead of just watching her leave.

"What if she is guilty?" Reid asked and Renee had to agree that getting away with murder, no matter who the victim was, wasn't a good thing. She didn't understand Elle's reason for doing it, if she really was guilty. Perhaps she never would get her answer.

"I don't know."

The jet was going in full speed toward Texas. Hotch wasn't on the plane and neither was Elle. The entire team found it odd that after Elle was cleared, she wasn't heading toward Texas with them. JJ, Morgan and Reid sat around the table while Gideon was leaning back in a chair, far enough away to let the children play but close enough to rein in a firm hand if it was needed.

It wasn't right. It felt odd. Something was up and while the air had been tense for the past two weeks. They all were waiting for the news of Elle's verdict to come back. None of them knew how they would react if she wasn't cleared. However, since she was cleared none of them knew of to react to that either. Add that and the fact that she wasn't on the plane with them, just puzzled them further. If she was an unsub and they were profiling her, they would say that only those who run were guilty. None of them wanted her to be guilty but none of them could believe that she was innocent.

"Did you guys hear Elle was cleared?" Reid stated. He was trying to sound conversational, as if it was the weather he mentioning. He sat down beside Morgan with a cup of coffee. Both JJ and Morgan were looking over the case file.

"Self-defense." Morgan stated as though he didn't believe her. His tone said it all. He looked down at the pictures but he wasn't really seeing them. In fact, his mind was occupied with Elle and why she wasn't on the jet. If she was innocent and had nothing to hide, she would be there with them, instead of hiding or running. None of them were sure which she was doing. They were sure that Hotch was going after her.

"So? It was a good shoot." Reid justified. He was trying as hard as he might to believe her. He tried as hard as he could to help her. He talked with her in Ohio and thought he had helped, only for her to go and kill William Lee. Whether it was self-defense or not, he was dead and Elle was the one who pulled the trigger.

"Well, she hit what she was aiming for." JJ stated. She was trying to hide the bitterness that she felt. She in part blamed herself for picking that case however; she couldn't help but look at Elle differently. How could she treat her the same way as she did before? Was she even the same person? She knew that everyone on the plane, except herself had taken a life. But those circumstances were different. They didn't have a choice and JJ fully believed that Elle did and she chose wrong.

"That's not what I meant." Reid defended.

"I know." JJ stated.

"If they cleared her, how come she is not here with us?" Morgan asked. That was where his problem lay. If she truly was innocent, why wasn't she on the jet? "Or Hotch?"

"Focus on the case." Gideon's voice sounded. The three of the younger agents looked at each other. They had been caught like children do when they were caught doing something wrong. They knew that their conversation wasn't done. They would pick it up again later.

Elle Greenaway looked down at her father's grave. He had been killed on duty. He was police officer. That was Elle's drive to do the job she had done. She closed her eyes feeling as though she failed him. She didn't regret her decision but she couldn't lie and say that she felt differently about herself. A year ago she never would have pulled that trigger. Yet, she stood there a murder wondering if her father would be ashamed of her. She was everything he didn't want her to be. He didn't raise her that way.

"I'm sorry dad." She stated and shook her head. She knew he would be disappointed in her. Robert Greenaway would never have done what she did. Elle never knew if he killed anyone on the job but she knew that he would try to avoid it as much as he could. She heard footsteps behind her and knew Hotch was there. She knew that he was following her. "You've been following me."

"What's going on?" He asked. His military posture in full effect. Caring Hotch was underneath the surface but he was in full profiler mode. He was going to get to the bottom of what was going on and she knew it. "Elle I'm listening."

She turned. They looked at each other for a few moments. Hotch could tell that she was at her most vulnerable. She was breaking and Hotch could say she was devolving; if Elle was a psychopath or going through some psychotic break, she would be killing more people. Yet, Elle wasn't crazy or insane. She was a normal human who was being consumed by her guilt.

"Okay." She paused and looked at her boss. "I really wanted to be a part of the team."

"You were."

"But when I needed the team I was all alone. I was alone in the one place I have the right to feel safe. And that's my home." Just like William Lee's victims. It was coming together for Hotch. When she shot William Lee, she really was killing Randall Gardner, her own attacker. "Just like those woman in Ohio who were attacked had a right to feel safe in their homes."

"So does that justify taking the law into your own hands?" Hotch asked. While he could see where she was coming from and he could feel her pain, he couldn't condone what she had done.

"What makes you say that I have?" Elle asked. Her voice was broken and it hurt. She couldn't trust her team anymore and she knew that they couldn't trust her. To Elle, that was heartbreaking.

"Because you are here, confessing your sins." He paused. "You know I don't have any evidence and you know how quickly I would arrest you if I did." He paused again, letting that sink in. "So, what are we going to do about it?"

The Finnegan manner was old and creepy. However, now that it was daylight, Reid didn't feel the fear that he had the night before, sitting alone in the dark while on the phone with Garcia. The kitchen was clean and he listened as he pointed out the eaten food containers. Everything was consumed except for the spinach. Reid couldn't blame the unsub on that because he too hated spinach.

"So we are looking for a guy who really really hates spinach?" Morgan asked. It was a long shot and he was irritated. They were not closer to finding this guy than they were before. While they had been in this situation before, what was different this time was that the victims were children. It was always harder when little kids where the ones who were being killed.

"Who doesn't?" Reid asked but shut up quickly. He realized that it was a rhetorical question.

"Ritualized, meticulous, organized." Gideon described the unsub. He looked at the food trays and he could all but see the unsub eating off of these trays. With Finnegan dead, this was the perfect hideout for him. No one would be the wiser.

"He would eat with the same particulars." Reid stated, looking at Gideon. He knew where he was going with this.

"Pull prints." Gideon stated as his phone rang. "Have Garcia run them for a match." He pulled his phone and saw that it was Hotch on the other line. He left the room, leaving Reid and Morgan standing in the kitchen looking at each other. Each knew what the phone call was about, it was about Elle. She was in the back of all their minds even though they were focused on the case.

"Its' about Elle, isn't it?" Reid spoke what Morgan was going to let alone. He looked at the young genius and sighed. He had pulled out his phone to call Garcia but snapped it shut. He knew that Reid needed to talk about this and while he wanted to leave it alone, he wanted Reid to be able to talk to him.

"I don't know."

"You know, I talked to her in Ohio." Reid stated. He hadn't told anyone about Elle's drinking during the case. He wondered if that had something to do with her decisions concerning William Lee. He blamed himself for not seeing it. They all knew that she was cracking but he had proof, he had her words and he did nothing about it. He failed her.

"Reid, we all talked to her-"

"No, I talked to her before. I went to her room one night, she was drinking." It felt good to get that off his chest. He felt as though that information was weighing him down. Morgan looked down at the floor before looking at Reid. He needed a second to think about where he would be if he was in Elle's shoes in that moment.

"She almost died. I'd be drinking too."

Later on the jet after the case had been solved, Morgan was listening to his headphones. He looked over the table to where Reid was sitting. He was staring off into space with his arms crossed. Morgan knew where his mind was. Reid was blaming himself for not stopping Elle. Morgan replayed the conversation the two of them had in the manor. It wasn't healthy what he was doing to himself.

"I should have said something." Reid stated. He knew that while Morgan was listening to his music, it wasn't as loud as it normally was. He only had his music on a low volume when he was in the position to talk.

"What?"

"To Gideon or Hotch or any of you guys. I talked to Elle that night and I knew she wasn't right but-" There was not excuse in Reid's mind. "I should have told someone." Morgan sat up and put his headphones aside. He looked deeply at the young man who he viewed as a brother.

"Reid, listen to me. Do not do that to yourself. You were just trying to help a friend. You hear me? Don't go there kid. Elle made her own choice. That's on her." Reid looked at Morgan and he knew where he was coming from. Morgan was right but it was hard not to blame himself.

The team entered the bullpen. It was quiet and late and they all wanted to go home. However, Gideon insisted that they had to go to the office. They all knew he talked with Hotch on the phone, seeing that they heard the end of the conversation, it was the text that he got that sent them wondering. What was going on?

When they entered the bullpen and looked up into the conference room. They could see Hotch pacing it with Garcia sitting at the round table. She looked scared and confused but they knew that Hotch was waiting for them all. Elle was nowhere to be seen. They all paused before heading toward the conference room. When they entered Hotch stopped and motioned for everyone to sit around the table which they did. Hotch took a deep breath before saying what needed to be said.

"Elle resigned. She is no longer on the team." Everyone looked at Hotch in disbelief. None of them could fully understand what he was saying. While they all knew she was guilty, they thought she would come back to the team. They all thought, even though they were mad and hurt, that they would get through this.

"What? Sir-" Garcia stuttered. She couldn't believe what he was saying.

"It's done Garcia." Hotch stated in a commanding voice. Knowing the tech queen she would have put something in Elle's file that made it impossible for her to leave. They all feared Garcia when it came to technology and they all knew she could do it. After that, no one really said anything. They all got up from the table and headed out the door.

"I could use a drink." Morgan said and JJ snorted. She agreed and nodded her head.

"I think all the bars are closed." JJ stated. Garcia came up behind them with tears in her eyes. Out of all of them, she was shocked the most. She was the only one who really believed in Elle's innocence. Garcia liked to see the best in people and since she knew Elle, she believed that Elle wasn't capable to such a thing. Now, with her resignation, it made Garcia question what she thought she knew.

"I have scotch at home. You all are welcome." Reid stated. While he wanted to get home to Renee, he didn't want to leave his team just yet. He needed them and he knew that his teammates felt the same way. They all wanted to confide in each other. Morgan nodded and the rest were in as well.

They all drove together and Reid said that they were all welcome to stay. It was the weekend now, very early on a Saturday morning, and he knew that none of them would be in the condition to drive home. Reid knew that Renee wouldn't mind, under the circumstances. When they entered the loft, it wasn't long before Renee came padding down the stairs.

"Hey guys." She was confused. While it wasn't unusual for Reid to come home early in the morning when he was away on a case, he never brought the team home with him. Renee wrapped her arms around herself hoping to cover herself up more. She was in a simple pair of boy shorts along with a tank top. While she wasn't showing anything, it was more reveling than she wanted Reid's friends to see.

"Elle resigned." Reid stated. Renee bit her lip and nodded. Reid asked about the scotch and she said she would get it. The team filed into the living room, none of them really speaking. When Renee came into the living room, she had changed into a pair of Reid's boxers and they could tell she put a bra on. None of them wanted to say anything; their minds were on other things.

She came with a full bottle of scotch, seeing that Reid wasn't much of a drinker, and with five small glasses. She sat down in Reid's lap who wrapped his arms around her. They kissed lightly as they listened to the team pour their glasses. They broke apart. None of the team was talking. They all were focused on their drink.

"She resigned?" Renee whispered to Reid who nodded. He held her tighter. She kissed the top of his head and he rested his head in the nook of her neck. She ran her hands through his hair. The team watched the interaction with interest. Morgan was surprised at the vulnerability he saw in Reid. While Reid let his shield down with him on the jet and in the manor, he had never seen the kid this open. JJ smiled at the interaction because she knew what Reid was thinking about while Garcia would have squealed if she wasn't so sad.

Looking at the couple, it gave them hope that they would be okay. Morgan would deal with Elle's choices by smashing a wall at one of his homes or he would find a bar fly to empty his fruitions' into. JJ would go running and take her anger out in an adrenaline haze. Garcia would hide herself in cyber world and spend any free time she had with Morgan. Hotch would spend time with his family and cherish what he had while Gideon did what he did best; solve cases and look at the photos in his office. Yet, Reid had Renee and they all knew that he would be okay. The entire team would. They would heal.

**A/N: Well Elle is gone. We all knew it was coming. That plot line is all wrapped up and I will focus on the secondary plot. Well, until other things pop up that happen in season two. Well all know what I am talking about. Is it bad that I'm excited? No. I don't think so. Anyway, Review please. It makes me more motivated to update sooner. **


	6. Chapter 6

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Six: Living in Sin

Renee's classroom was quiet. Her students were outside and she could hear their laughter from the playground and it caused her to smile. She loved her job. She loved the students she taught. They always made her day better no matter what happened. The Monday after Elle's resignation, Renee went into work and the gloom that was over her seemed to evaporate.

She wished she could say the same for Reid's workplace. While it wasn't as stressful with Elle gone, seeing that they didn't have to worry about an erratic team member who would combust at any moment. They survived that hurdle. However, they now were picking up the slack because they were a member down. Reid had come home on several nights saying that he was doing twice as much consults and reports than he had been before and Reid always did more than other agents; mainly because he worked faster with his genius traits.

Her work was somewhat of a safe haven for her. Yet, Reid found more stress at his than he had before. With Elle gone, the team were blaming themselves, well except for Morgan. Morgan seemed fine and knew that Elle made her choice. For the first time, Renee agreed with Morgan on something. Reid blamed himself for not speaking up and not saying that he knew that Elle wasn't right. JJ hid behind bitter comments but Reid told Renee that she wished she never picked that case in Ohio.

Garcia was just in shock. She didn't really blame herself but she didn't know what to do. She had done a search for Elle after she had resigned. She had moved out of her apartment and hired a U-Haul to take her stuff up to Brooklyn, her home town. From what Garcia could understand, she moved back home with her mother. She contemplated sending Elle an email to find out if she was alright but Morgan advised against it. When Hotch got wind that Garcia was thinking about it, he put an end to the thought process immediately.

Hotch felt immense guilt but wasn't expressing it. He was stone faced but Reid had told Renee that he was a fouler mood than he was before. Reid said that he thought Hotch was blaming himself for allowing Elle to come back to the team so early after being shot. She was damaged and wasn't fully repaired. Hotch would never be able to take that back. He was the one who gave her the okay before her doctors did. Gideon was Gideon. Reid had no idea what he thought or what he was feeling. Gideon was ever the mystery.

There was a knock on the door of her classroom and Renee was yanked from her thoughts. She turned to see her boss, Principal Kathy White, standing in the doorway. She was a woman in her late forties with short brown hair. She wasn't dressy but favored a nice pant suit over a skirt and blouse.

"Mrs. White." Renee stated and the older woman smiled. She stepped inside and looked down at the pictures her students had drawn for an assignment. Mrs. White loved children and dearly missed teaching but wouldn't trade her position for the world.

"How are you Renee?" She asked. Mrs. White always had this motherly disposition. She seemed concerned and it made Renee confused. While Mrs. White was someone she could go to if she needed something, at the moment Renee was fine. A little bit shaken but fine none the less.

"I'm alright." She paused and looked at her boss. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to see how you were. We haven't really spoken since your accident in the spring. I just wanted to make sure how you were doing." Mrs. White stated and Renee looked at her. While she was no profiler she could tell there was something else Mrs. White wanted to say. While she may be a great boss, she didn't just come out of the blue to check up on her teachers.

"I'm fine. Really. I'm alright." Renee stated. It was true. While she still had nightmares about her father and the nightmares about her mother were more frequent she still was able to deal. She was happy where she was at. She had a job she loved and a boyfriend who she was head over heels for. She had a wonderful best friend and she was close with her family. "I don't think that is what you really wanted to speak with me about."

Mrs. White pursed her lips and Renee knew she was right. Mrs. White pulled a chair that was by door over to her desk. Renee got a sinking feeling and she knew this wasn't going to be good.

"I have to move one of your students." That shocked Renee. She hadn't gotten any complaints and her students seemed happy with her. There wasn't any bullying of any kind in her class. She was lucky, her students got along rather well. She didn't understand why one of them would be moved. She could tell that Mrs. White wasn't happy about but Renee knew that she wouldn't be moving the student unless it was absolutely necessary.

"What? Who? Why?" She questioned. She could hear the students playing outside during recess and she knew that today might be the last day she would get with one of them. She remembered parting with all her students last year and it was painful. It was hard for a teacher not to get close to her students. Renee cared for them and when Andrew had gone missing the year before, it tore her up inside.

"Jamie Pool." Renee paused. Jamie Pool was a small little girl with bright red hair and more freckles than could be counted. She was quiet and shy but once broken out of her shell, she was rather sociable with the other students. Jamie reminded her of herself. She was a lot like Jamie when she was a child.

"Why?"

"I got a complaint from her mother." Mrs. White paused, not really knowing how to respond. She could tell that Renee feared she had done something wrong. "In my opinion, you've done nothing wrong."

"But?"

"But Mrs. Pool had learned that you were living with a man who you were not married to. How she discovered that I don't know. I know that no one from this school said anything. She demanded that I either fire you or she would pull her students out of the school."

"Fire me?" Renee was worried. By the sounds of it, Mrs. White wasn't going to do that and she had no indication that she had done anything to be fired for. She was also disturbed by the fact that a mother of one of her students wanted her gone because she was living with Reid while they were not married. Renee found herself getting angry. How was it anyone's business what she was doing in her personal time?

"I have no grounds to fire you nor would I want to. You are a very good teacher and the faculty is very lucky to have you. I tried to convince Mrs. Pool of letting Jamie stay in the class but she adamant. I was able to convince her to let me move Jamie out of the class. It was the best I could do." Renee nodded and sighed. She didn't like the outcome but it was out of her hands. Mrs. White said a few other things before leaving. Renee got up and walked over to Jamie's desk. She sat down in the small seat and pulled out her phone. She knew he was on a case in Pennsylvania but she need something. Surely a text would hurt.

Outside of Brooke Chambers's home, Gideon, Morgan and Reid along with Sergeant Sikes walked across the street. It was a normal home on a normal street and nothing really seemed out of the ordinary. It was just a small town in Pennsylvania, close to where JJ grew up. Nothing really seemed off but it concerned Reid that no one really cared that the three girls were missing. He could understand why JJ fought so hard for this case. She could relate to it and Reid could, if he thought hard enough.

He wasn't an athlete in high school, only have been twelve but he did coach the basketball team. Also he paid most of his college education with scholarships until he was old enough to be allowed in the casinos. He wouldn't have risked anything to lose his scholarships that would take him away from his high school bullies.

They walked into the open basketball court and Morgan turned back to look at the house. He pointed back and his gut sank. It would have been easy for the guy to stand outside and watch the house. Yet, no one would have noticed this. It could have been easily over looked despite what Sikes thought while inside of the home.

"You can see all the windows from here." Morgan stated as Gideon walked toward a shaded part of the court. Near a tree that was behind a fence laid several cigarette butts. Gideon was the only who saw it at first but it wasn't long before the other three gentlemen joined him. There were several there and it told them that whoever kidnapped the girls, had been watching them for a long time.

"Someone spent a lot of time here." Gideon stated with dismay. Sikes felt sick. He truly believed that no one from his town would be able to do such a thing yet those cigarette butts confirmed his worse fears. He wasn't a smoker and really didn't understand why people do that to themselves. Seeing those butts were just another reason why he didn't like smokers.

"Damn."

"Has it rained since Saturday night?" Gideon asked. He looked at the sky to see if it would open up and let water fall from the clouds. He hoped not because if it didn't there was a chance that they would be able to pull DNA from those butts. It could cause a break in the case but Gideon wasn't a dumb man. DNA took time and his only hope would be that Garcia would be able to push it forward.

"No." Sikes stated in a saddened voice. He really seemed upset and none of them could blame him. With that Reid pulled out his cell phone and dialed Garcia's number.

"He who seeks the Queen of all Knowledge, speak and be recognized." Garcia's voice chimed. She always did have a cheery and unique greeting. He could hear the keyboards through the phone and he knew Garcia was in her element. He wasn't one who was good with computers; he didn't even have email much to Renee's chagrin.

"Garcia, we are sending you some cigarettes." Reid stated. He put his hand over his ear to block out the voices of Sikes, Morgan and Gideon.

"Ehh, send me a flesh eating virus. It would be faster and far less painful." Her voice was disgusted and it made Reid smile. She knew what was needed and that they were sending them to her for evidence.

"We need some butts rushed to the lab for DNA Analysis." He stated.

"Oh Reid." Garcia stated in a lusty voice. It made him uncomfortable. Even Renee wasn't a lustful speaker, she was far too shy. He was okay with that because he knew it would make both of them highly uncomfortable. Garcia's tone made him flush. "I love it when you say 'butts'. Send away sugar. Bang bang for now."

Reid hung up the phone and shook his head. He would never really understand Garcia. He felt his phone vibrate and he thought it was Garcia calling him back but he was mistaken. Renee had sent him a text. She never texted him while he was on a case. He was confused and flipped his phone open.

_Bad day. I miss you._

He sighed. They had just gotten there and Reid knew that it would be awhile before he would be able to talk to her. He had to smile though. He loved that he was the one she came too when she had a bad day. It made him want to marry her even more. He typed out a small text stating that he loved her and that he would be home as soon as he could. He heard Sike's phone ring and he knew that duty called. Brooke's car was found abandoned.

Renee sat on her couch with Reid's arm around her. It was Saturday and neither had to be at work in the morning. JJ was going to come to dinner because Reid knew how emotional she got during this case and he didn't think she should be alone. Reid had put a penne bake in the oven and made up some garlic bread, simple but easy. Renee was fine with it but wanted some time alone with Reid. She was still upset about Jamie Pool being removed from her class.

After work that day she had gone to Nora's apartment and cried. While Renee tried to be one of those people who didn't care what other people thought but Renee had always had a difficult time with that. She thought back to her first meeting with Mrs. Pool and she never thought anything bad about her. Renee got the feeling that Mrs. Pool was a good mother. Now, she was branding Renee for "living in sin".

Reid kissed the top of her head and rubbed her shoulder gently. He wanted to comfort her in any way he could. When he came through the door she all but collapsed in his arms .He didn't get much just that a student was being moved from her class. He knew that there had to be more to the story. While Renee was fragile in many ways, a student being moved from her class wasn't something that would make so heartbroken.

"Did Mrs. White tell you why Jamie was being moved?" Reid asked and he felt Renee nod. She bit her lip and sat up straighter. Reid pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead. Reid found that Renee got comfort from his small kisses. They knew that once JJ arrived that they would break apart in a way. They never showed their more affectionate side while in other's company. That was something private. A kiss here and there or sharing a seat wasn't private affection and they didn't mind showing in public.

"She said that Mrs. Pool complained about me." Renee stated and Reid got confused. He knew that Renee was a good teacher. On their second meeting they met in her classroom and he could see how her students adored her. He couldn't remember ever really adoring any of his teachers, and Reid had plenty of them. He never even felt that type of affection for his professor he had an "affair" with back in M.I.T.

"Complained?"

"She said that Mrs. Pool learned of my living arraignment. She didn't like the fact that I was living with my boyfriend and that we weren't married."Her voice was cracked and Reid pulled her into his embrace. He wanted to say that they could change that but he didn't want to propose when the love of his life was in tears. While he had no clue on how to do it, he knew better than that.

"How did she know about whom you lived with?" Reid was never one who was religious. He knew the Bible inside and out, seeing that he could remember every word he ever read, but he wasn't a man of God. He knew that Renee believed in God but wasn't one who went to church and had refused to go to church after her mother's death and her father being sent to prison.

"I don't know. Mrs. White assures me that no one at the school would have said anything but I don't see how else she would have found out. I know she is on the PTA and is very involved in Jamie's education but….I don't know. I just don't know." She paused. "I mean, it's not like it really is a big deal. We're not doing anything wrong. This is 2006 not 1955."

"I know but some people don't see these things like that." He paused and brought Renee closer to him. He looked at the clock and knew JJ would be there soon. He knew he wanted to breach the subject but he was terrified. What if she wasn't ready? He wasn't going to propose at that moment but he wanted to get her opinion. Now he had the perfect chance because the subject was kind of on the table but this was scarier than any unsub he may come across. He wasn't scared of marriage but he was terrified of rejection. "Have you ever thought about it?"

"Thought about what?" She asked.

"Marriage." With that, Renee sat up straighter and looked at Reid. Out of everything he could have said, that was the last thing she expected. In all honesty, she didn't even think he was thinking about marriage and here he was, asking if she had thought about it. Perhaps she was wrong? In truth she did think about it. She always knew that she wanted to get married and have a family but when she met Reid, it wasn't abstract anymore. She could really _see _it.

"Yes. I have." She paused and looked at him. Her eyes never left his. Her heart was going a mile a minute and she didn't really know if she was breathing. Suddenly her mood lifted and she felt happier than she had in the last couple of days. "Spencer, what-"

"It was an impractical question. I guess I should have asked if you have thought of marriage with me." He seemed so vulnerable and she could tell that he was terrified of her answer. She didn't know if he was scared that she wouldn't want to marry him or if she would. He wasn't scared of commitment but her experiences with men always told her that men didn't want to get married. Was Reid different?

"With you?" He nodded. "Since the day I met you." With that, his smile widened and it was like he was a little boy in a candy store. He was just so happy. It took Renee by surprise. She didn't expect that reaction. It was as if he was lighter in many ways. He was happier than she could ever remember seeing him.

"Thank you." He kissed the top of her head again. They heard the knock on the door and Reid jumped up. Renee looked after him, puzzled. She didn't understand.

"Spencer, what was that about?" She called. He turned and shrugged his shoulders while walking backwards. He didn't answer her but answered the door instead. JJ was on the other side, holding a plastic container. Renee got up from the couch and went to the door.

"I told you not to bring anything." Reid stated looking at the dish. Her let her inside and took the offending container from her. He looked at it and sighed. While he loved JJ like she was an older sister, she didn't listen and did what she wanted. Much like an older sister, Reid though.

"It's a salad. Think of it as a peace offering." JJ smiled at him with a sympathetic and slightly scared smile. She bit her lip and Renee could tell that she was worried about something and Renee didn't think it had anything to do with the case they just closed.

"A peace offering?" Reid asked. JJ nodded and took a deep breath.

"I may have let something slip to Garcia." The words were rushed. It took a moment but Reid's eyes got wide. Reid huffed and just looked at JJ. He didn't seem mad but slightly fearful. She knew that Garcia can be scary at times but Reid looked down right fearful.

"Why did you tell her!" It was like Reid knew what JJ let slip yet Renee was completely confused. She had no idea what Reid would want to hide from Garcia that JJ knew. She knew it had to be something she knew about because Renee knew everything about her boyfriend. He didn't hide things from her. The only time he did was when they had a case that involved the CIA and he was under some type of command not to say what it was about.

"I'm sorry! We were talking and I told her I was having dinner with you and Renee and then it just slipped out!" JJ was nervous and bit her lip. She was ringing her hands like a child who had just been scolded. Reid just looked at her with wide eyes. "I'm sorry!"

"Coffee for a month and if I need to hide in your office from her, no questions asked." JJ nodded hurriedly and Reid just sighed. Renee smiled. She could tell that he wasn't angry with JJ but he was scared of Garcia. Renee was scared of Garcia mainly because the woman stated she ran a background check on her when they first met. "Thanks for the salad." Reid sighed and headed toward the kitchen.

Renee walked closer to JJ and smiled. JJ looked relieved and Renee could tell that she truly thought that Reid would be angry. Reid didn't get angry easily. Whatever JJ told Garcia, he didn't want her to know but that didn't mean that Reid would get angry about it.

"What did you tell Garcia?" Renee asked and JJ got the same look that Reid did. Her eyes were wide and it looked as though she saw a deer in her headlights.

"Um." She stuttered. "Garcia and I were talking about you and Spence…" She trailed off, trying to think of something to say. Renee could see her relax and smile slightly. She thought of something. "Garcia said something about you being Spence's first girlfriend and I let slip about Spencer and his college professor. Garcia was really thrown about it and wants details."

"Oh." Renee stated. For some reason she didn't believe JJ. She knew that Reid didn't advertise his involvement with his old teacher but it wouldn't be something that would cause the reaction he had. She didn't even know that JJ knew about Dr. Ava Hodges. Though, it made sense seeing how close JJ and Reid were. Renee used to be jealous of JJ but seeing them now, it really was a familiar relationship.

Whatever JJ told Garcia, it had to be about her and Renee wondered if it had anything to do with the brief question he had asked her earlier. Was she ready for marriage? Yes, she was. Before today she didn't think Reid was and now she doubted her earlier assumptions.

**A/N: I had issues with this chapter. I knew I wanted Reid and Renee to discuss marriage but I wanted it to be a brief thing. Something Reid could ask but knowing that Renee would have a chance to dig into his question. So I pulled something that happened to me in middle school. A kid was pulled from my Spanish class because a parent learned that our Spanish teacher was living with a man who wasn't her husband-granted my teacher was pregnant and her boyfriend (who was a 8****th**** grade science teacher) recently left his wife….blah blah blah. I remember it was a big thing among the middle school gossip chain. Anyway, Review. **


	7. Chapter 7

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Seven: A Perfect Match

Reid was in the elevator of the BAU. It was the morning and he hadn't had his coffee yet. It was Monday and he was dreading it. Renee had asked him what JJ had let slip to Garcia and he told her the same lie that JJ told her. He was glad JJ had briefed him when Renee excused herself to go to the bathroom. Reid hated lying to Renee. He was always honest with her but hiding something from her felt wrong. Even though he was happy that Renee wanted to marry him, he still hated hiding the fact that he was going to propose.

He still didn't have a ring, which was a major problem. He wanted to propose soon but he needed the ring. Olivia had been calling him constantly but he hadn't been able to go back into her shop. He thought about going after work but he didn't want to go back there. His gut told him not to. Reid was a man of science and the thought of going with something so unscientific was ludicrous to him, but something told him not to.

Whether or not he went to that jewelry store, it didn't really matter. He was still at the square one. He didn't have a ring or any idea on how to propose. The only thing he really had was that he wanted to and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Nothing else mattered but he wanted to make it right. Renee would remember that moment for the rest of her life and he wanted to make it right. He read that some girls like a romantic planned proposal while others liked a spontaneous proposal. He honestly didn't know what to do.

The doors of the elevator opened and Reid walked toward the glass doors. He paused when he saw Garcia standing by his desk talking with Morgan. He sighed. He had been ignoring her as much as he could. She had called sixteen times and texted at least thirty times. He didn't answer a single one and he knew that it wasn't going to help matters. If anything, it would make it worse. He debated going to JJ's office, seeing that she promised he could hide out in there if need be, plus she owed him coffee. However, he spotted a take-out coffee cup sitting in his desk. JJ had already been in the bullpen. Well, that left him no choice.

Mustering up all the courage he had, which was very little when it came to Garcia, and opened the glass doors. Garcia must have ears of a bat because the moment he opened the doors she turned and all but rushed over to him. She hugged him so hard that he couldn't breathe. He could hear Moran laughing and asking what Reid had done to deserve such a hug.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Garcia shrieked. She hadn't let go of Reid when Morgan asked what Reid hadn't told his 'baby girl'. Garcia let go but had her one arm around Reid's waist so he couldn't stalk off. Reid looked lovingly at the coffee cup. He needed that to be able to deal with Garcia and what she was about to spill to Morgan. Yet, he was being stopped by the tech goddess. "Our boy genius is getting married!"

"Whoa, what?" Morgan asked. His eyes were wide and he sat up. He looked at the young genius who was still staring at the coffee cut. When Morgan saw Reid reach for it, Morgan jumped up and grabbed the cup. He wasn't getting any caffeine until he answered their questions. "Reid, are you and Renee getting married?"

"No." He stated, not looking at any of them. He wanted that coffee. He reached for the cup again but Morgan pulled away so Reid couldn't get it. "Come on Morgan! Give me the damn coffee!" None of them moved and he sighed. "No, Renee and I are not getting married." Garcia pulled away from him and looked at him with watery eyes.

"But JJ said-"

"JJ told you that I was _thinking _of proposing. Not that I have already." Reid stated. He just wanted the damn coffee and for them to drop the subject. He knew that he was going to hear about it for the rest of the morning. He really could curse JJ. There were reasons why he didn't want anyone to know about his thoughts of proposing. Morgan and Garcia's teasing was one of those reasons.

"Oh." Garcia stated in a sad voice. She had gotten her hopes up that Reid had proposed and the fact that he hadn't was highly disappointing. While Garcia was terrified of marriage for herself, that didn't mean that she didn't want her babies to get married.

"Can I please have my coffee now?" Reid asked in an aspirated voice. He held out his hand and Morgan handed him the cup. Morgan had this goofy grin on his face and Reid knew that his grilling was not over just yet. He sighed and sat down at his desk. Garcia propped up on Morgan's and the two of them just stared at him. He sighed. "Go ahead ask away."

"So, you are going to settle down a get boring?" Morgan asked and Reid just looked at him. He raised his eyebrow in question. He just shook his head. Of course Morgan would think getting married was boring. Yet, to Reid it couldn't be something farther from the truth. The thought of marriage was exciting and exhilarating, even a little bit terrifying.

"You already think I am boring." Reid stated and Morgan laughed but turned back to the screen. He was typing rather quickly and Reid heard Anderson swear from across the bullpen. Reid turned to see Anderson looking at his blackberry. Morgan laughed and turned to yell across the room.

"You owe me fifty bucks Anderson." Morgan yelled. Anderson just looked at him with narrowed eyes. He headed over with a file in hand.

"I will pay you when he asks." Anderson stated. He rushed passed them and all three of them could see he was irritated. Reid was confused, not understanding what had just transpired. He ran through all the dialogue of the short conversation and it was like a light bulb just switched on. His eyes grew wide and he seemed highly irate.

"YOU HAVE A BET OUT ON ME!" It couldn't believe it but at the same time he could. It wasn't surprising knowing his friends. Morgan wasn't above making a small beat but he wasn't a gambler. Reid could guess that he would be the most accurate when it came to beating on Reid. Morgan didn't go in unless it was a sure thing. Morgan wasn't a risk taker and Reid could guess that is why he avoided relationships.

"Never mind that!" Garcia stated. She moved her hand as though she was brushing the subject aside. She seemed way too excited for Reid's comfort. When Garcia got excited it could turn into something very scary. "I want details!"

"There really aren't any details Garcia." Reid stated in a hopeless voice. This wasn't going to end and on top of that he was running low on coffee. He would have to drink the slug that the FBI provided. He sighed. It was too early for this interrogation. Garcia shot him a look that told him that she didn't believe him. "Really, there aren't any details. I don't even have a ring."

"Well why not?" Garcia asked and Reid leaned back in his chair. He drank the last bit of his coffee and almost let out a whine when he drank the last drop. He really needed more caffeine to be able to deal with this. He stood and threw the disposable coffee cup into the trash.

"Because I haven't found one." He grabbed his glass coffee cup and looked at her. "Can we please drop this? Yes. I plan on proposing. No, I don't know how I will do it." He started to walk away but turned. "And I would appreciate it if that bet was gone." With that he walked toward the coffee cup. JJ burst through the glass doors and rushed passed Reid toward Hotch's office. They had a case.

The jet was on its way to Seattle. They had gone over the case and discussed the little that they knew. It was a bomber and they were rushed. An entire bus had blown up in the middle of Seattle. They were pressed for time but they didn't know when the next attack would be. Having dealt with bombers before, they knew they had to be vigilant.

He looked around the plane and everyone was doing their own tasks. Morgan was listening to music while looking over the files. JJ was on her phone and Reid could guess she was dealing with the press. Both Hotch and Gideon were discussing the files. Reid got up and walked over to the coffee station. He hadn't called Renee to tell her that he was going out of town. He pulled out his phone and dialed her number. He listened to it ring until he heard her pick up.

"And what do I owe this afternoon treat?" Renee teased through the phone. He was surprised he actually reached her. He thought he would get her voice mail. He checked the time and it was around the time she had lunch. He could picture her sitting at her desk while eating the small salad she had packed that morning. "Need a break from Garcia grilling you on your ex?" Reid paused and remembered what he told Renee. He told her that Garcia had learned about his ex, Dr. Ava Hodges.

"Yeah. She has been grilling me with every bit of Garcia power she has." With that Renee laughed. He sighed. Reid loved that laugh. It always filled him with some type of joy and wonder. It was like falling in love with her again every time she laughed. "But that isn't why I called."

"You have a case?" Her voice changed and he could tell it wasn't for the better. Reid knew that Renee supported him when it came to his job, but Reid wasn't naïve enough to know that she wished he was home more. He wished he could be home more too but he loved his job. Renee knew that and the fact that he did the job that not only helped people but loved it was one of the reasons she loved him so dearly.

"We are on the jet to Seattle." He stated and he heard her sigh. He poured some coffee and took a sip.

"Well, I guess I will tell Gran you won't be at dinner." Renee stated and Reid groaned. He forgot that they were to have dinner with Renee's grandmother and younger sister. Suddenly, he really felt like a giant asshole. He didn't want to be one of those guys who left their significant alone all the time.

"Oh, I shoot, I didn't think-" Reid stated but Renee cut him off. Her voice was soothing and calm. He knew that Renee supported him but he wondered if she would always be like that. Would she always be able to be fine with his coming and going?

"It's fine. We will go to dinner next week when you are home." Renee stated as though it was a simple answer. While it was true and an easy solution, he still felt bad about ditching, knowing that it wouldn't be the last time. He only hoped that Renee would be able to deal with his job. He knew that while Hotch's marriage was intact, as far as he knew, Haley still wasn't as accepting. However, it worked in his favor that Renee met Reid while he worked for the agency unlike Hotch and Haley.

"Tell them I'm sorry."

"They know Spencer." She replied with a very maternal voice. _She would make a great mother. Stop! Stop it right there. You haven't even proposed and you're thinking about kids? It's too soon. _Granted, ever since Renee's miscarriage, he thought about children more than he ever had. He wasn't ready for children but he knew that eventually he wanted them. Not just with anyone but with her.

After a few more brief moments they discussed a few mundane things like the fact that the toilet had clogged the night before and Renee was having a plumber come look at it since they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They hung up and Reid went back and sat with the team. They would be in Seattle soon and he hoped that the case would be one of those easy ones. He hoped to catch the bomber soon, not only for the sake of the innocent lives he might take but so he could go home.

The book store wasn't busy. In fact it looked as though the guy behind the counter was playing solitaire on the computer. It didn't take long for Reid to locate the syfy section of the store. It was all the way in the back and near the religion section, ironically. They didn't have much but since "Empty Planet" was becoming a big hit among the syfy community. It was well known and while Reid wanted to reread it for the case and before he met the author, he also wanted to read it again because he generally liked the book.

Reid didn't read much fiction, mainly reading some scholarly text book or one of the books written by David Rossi, but when he did, Reid loved to read syfy. It drove Renee mad because she was more of a classic romance type. While Reid had read those books, such as "Pride and Prejudice" or "Jane Eyre" he didn't find them as interesting as the books he normally read. Renee tried to read on of David Rossi's books but put it down halfway through the first chapter. She claimed that it was too "creepy" for her.

He sighed when he saw the book he was looking for. There were two on the top self. He reached up and pulled one of the books easily off the shelf. He looked over to see a small woman struggling for the same book. He smiled. She was about Renee's height. Renee would always call for him to get something off the top shelf somewhere in their apartment. He didn't mind, it wasn't too difficult for him. He reached up and grabbed another book. He handed it to the women who thanked him. He smiled politely and headed toward the front of the store.

He paid for the book and walked out after discussing the popularity of the book with the cashier. Beside the bookstore was a small yet noticeable pawn shop. It was a small hole in the wall but there was a window that peered inside. Reid chanced a small look but had to do a double take. There, situated among various objects was a small ring sitting on a manikin-like finger. It was perfect. The band was made some silver metal that Reid assumed was white gold or platinum. There were diamonds around the band and were a diamond normally sat, was a big white pearl. He saw it and knew that that ring was Renee's ring.

Reid looked over to the SUV that Gideon had been driving and noticed that the older profiler was on the phone. It would take very long, only a few minutes if they weren't busy. Gideon was distracted and wouldn't know any better. So, he slipped inside and looked back see that Gideon was still on the phone and didn't notice that Reid entered another store. Reid looked around and sighed.

The pawn shop was messy, very messy. There was just stuff everywhere and there was hardly enough room to move. Yet, there was a small pathway that led to a small counter. There was a burly looking man behind it looking over some paperwork. Reid walked to the counter and the man looked up. Reid could feel the man eyeing him up and just like it always did, the staring made Reid feel uncomfortable.

"Can I help you?" The man asked. His voice was gruff and hoarse indicating that he was a long term smoker. He didn't have a nametag or any indication on who this man could be that Reid could see.

"Yes. That ring in the window, the pearl one, is that for sale?" Reid asked. The man's eyebrow creased in confusion. It was only a moment before understanding dawned on him. He nodded and headed toward a filing cabinet. After a few minutes of searching, he found what he was looking for. He read over the paperwork and went back to the counter.

"Yeah, the woman who brought it in didn't come back for it after thirty days. You interested?" He asked and Reid nodded.

"I want to buy it." It was a simple statement that caused the man to nod. There was some paperwork that needed to be filled out since it was an expensive transaction. The ring cost around nine hundred and fifty dollars. Reid was okay with that seeing that he pulled money from the money he saved up in case he ever needed to put in a hospital like his mother.

A few minutes later Reid walked out of the pawn shop with the ring in his pocket. He walked to the SUV and climbed in. He talked briefly about the book but noticed that Gideon look strained. He pulled out "Empty Planet" and began to read as Gideon answered his phone again. Gideon stated that here was another bomb but wasn't going to there but head toward their original destination instead. They drove off while Reid focused on the book.

While his eyes flew over the words, his mind was still on the ring inside his jacket. It was the perfect ring. It was everything that he had pictured for her. There was one small problem. It was a size too big, so he would have to get it resized. However, he couldn't contain his elation that he finally found the ring.

The day after the case had closed and Reid retuned from Seattle, he went to the small jewelry shop where he thought he would fine Renee's ring. He knew that Olivia wasn't going to be pleased that he found a ring somewhere else but he would still be bringing her some prophet. They did resizing and that is what Reid needed. So, when he entered the store and told Olivia what he needed, he watched her face go from excited to dismay to understanding.

Olivia stated that it would be a couple of weeks before the ring would be ready. Dismayed, Reid said he understood and paid a down payment for the service. He thanked Olivia and headed toward the office. He was about thirty minutes late and blamed it on traffic, saying that he had to drop Renee off at the school. It wasn't a lie because they had a meeting but it was much earlier and gave Reid time to run to the jewelry store. When he reached his desk, there sat a coffee cup on his desk. When the month was over, he would be disappointed that he would no longer get free coffee from JJ.

The day was slow and there was very little bickering between Morgan and Reid. However, Morgan had let slip that Garcia still wasn't pleased with the details that he had given her. With that, Reid left the bullpen a bit early for his lunch, in hopes he wouldn't cross Garcia on his way down to the cafeteria. He knew he was going to have to enact the other part of his agreement with JJ. He was going to hide in her office during his lunch break.

When he got to the cafeteria he grabbed some of the soup that was near the salad bar along with two salads off the bar. He thought, if he was going to use her office, it would be the polite thing if he brought her lunch. So he gathered everything, paid and headed back up to the floor where JJ's office and the bullpen were located. He only prayed that Garcia would still be in her lair and that he would cross her before reaching JJ's office.

When he got there, he saw the blonde woman bent over her case files. He knew that the moment they came home, JJ was preparing to pick their next case. He knocked lightly and she popped her head up. She smiled when she saw him and smiled even wider when she saw he brought lunch. He handed her the salad and Reid took the spare seat.

"Need to hide from Garcia." JJ asked and Reid nodded. She laughed with her head thrown back. In truth, she missed Reid. While she was happy that he found someone, and slightly jealous at what he had, she missed spending time with him. They rarely got one on one time like they did before he met Renee and even less time when she moved in with him. The only time they really spent time together was when the entire team went out or when she had dinner at Reid's and Renee's. The fact that she agreed to allow Reid to use her office as a hideout kind of excited her because if he hid in there, then perhaps they would get some quality brother sister bonding time.

"Morgan hinted that she would be out for blood during lunch." Reid stated as he sipped at the noodle soup he got off the bar. It wasn't the greatest but it was good enough for Reid to continue eating it. "I think Morgan is getting some type of pleasure out of Garcia's need to torture me."

"I think Morgan just likes to see you squirm and I don't think Garcia is meaning to torture you. She just needs to know everything about our lives." JJ stated. Reid agreed remembering the nonstop questioning he endured when he first met Renee. "Do you remember that guy I had dated, Ryan?" Reid nodded. JJ had dated him back when Reid had feelings for her. He was so jealous of the dark haired man and was highly pleased when they had broken up. "Well, Garcia pestered me until I told her everything including the size of his…well…you get the idea." With that Reid chocked on a bite of his salad and stared at JJ.

"I didn't need to know that." Reid stated. "Girls really talk about that stuff?" JJ nodded and he sighed. Did Renee tell Nora the things they did with each other? He didn't really know how he felt about that. It didn't really seem in Renee's character to spill their private moments but it was in Nora's character to pester it out of her. He only hoped that she didn't say too much.

"I saw Morgan earlier. He said that you were late?" She asked. Her eyebrows were late. Reid was rarely late unless something was wrong with the metro system, which was hardly ever. In fact, the last time he was late, that she could remember, was the day he went to Renee's school and they set up their first date.

"I ran to a jewelry shop." He paused and he saw JJ's eyebrows shoot up. She bit her lip and leaned forward a bit. He could tell she was excited but was trying to contain her excitement.

"Oh, really?"

"I found a ring." With that JJ smiled and hugged Reid tightly. The hug was unexpected because JJ wasn't one to outright hug someone, even those she was close to. It wasn't that she was unfeeling; she just didn't like people touching her. The fact that she ignited the contact meant a lot to Reid. "I don't have it on me. It needs to be resized. I dropped it off this morning."

"Spence! That is great." Her smile was wide and she seemed almost more excited that he was. That could be because he was nervous about the actual proposal. Now that he had the ring, he had to think about the actual proposal. Now he was realizing that finding the ring was the easy part. Now came the scary part.

"I was wondering that when I go to pick it up, if you would go with me?" He sounded so scared and unsure. It was like those puppies that are found on the side of the road and you can't help but take them in. That was what JJ was feeling. "You know, to get your advice."

"No problem."

**A/N: Well, the ring has been found. I have a link as to what I picture Renee's engagement ring to look like. The link is below. **

**.com/listing/84977628/vintage-diamonds-pearl-engagement-ring?ref=sr_gallery_2&sref=&ga_includes[0]=tags&ga_search_type=all&ga_page=1&ga_search_query=pearl+engagement+ring&ga_facet= **


	8. Chapter 8

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Eight: Questions and Not So Easy Answers

They were sweaty. Their breaths were jumbled together and their foreheads touched. Renee threw her head back. Her back was arched and Reid's hand ran up her smooth body while his other hand was pinning her hands above her head. She was whimpering mainly because her boyfriend was teasing her. He wasn't inside her yet but instead started running his member over her core. He was running this show and in control. She liked it when he took charge but it was torture when he teased her so. It was cruel and unusual punishment.

This was their third go that evening. He didn't know what got into Renee but she all but attacked him when he got home from the BAU that evening. After their second round, they had gotten a few little things to eat and brought them back to bed. They laughed and talked about this and that while simply enjoying each other's company. When Reid recovered and felt up, he then ignited their third round of love making.

He leaned in and kissed the pulse point in her neck. He sucked on it gently causing her to moan and whimper. Renee looked at him and launched at him, linking her lips with his. Her tongue invaded his and they fought for dominance. They broke apart gasping for breath as Reid inserted two of his fingers inside of Renee. That caused her to throw her head back once again and arch her back. She moaned and Reid launched onto Renee's throat.

Renee's hips moved with the rhythm of his fingers. He pressed his thumb to her special spot and it sent her over the edge. She screamed his name as she floated. When she came down from her high she could feel Reid kissing her stomach. He kissed slowly and made a pathway up toward her breasts. He brought one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked gently. Renee's hands went into his hand and tugged. He broke away and kissed her lips.

He moved in between her legs and entered her. He was going slow tonight, caressing every curve and kissing every drop of sweat he finds. He moves gently and Renee meeting every thrust. Every moan that she released egged Reid on more. He wasn't concerned about his own pleasure, even though he was enjoying himself; he was more focused on her's. It wasn't too long before Renee was sent over the edge again and Reid soon followed.

He rolled off of her as he tried to catch his breath. They were breathing deeply while they just stared at the ceiling. Renee reached over and grasps his hand, squeezing it tightly. He moved his hand and brought hers to his lips. He kissed it lightly before turning his head toward her. He moved slightly and then kissed her head lovingly.

"What has gotten into you today?" Reid asked. Renee laughed and curled up against Reid. Renee rested her head over his heart and listened to it pound. She felt his hand run through her hair. She smiled and Reid could feel her lips on his chest. She kissed the area over his heart and inhaled. She loved the scent of him.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She stated. Reid laughed. He looked down at her and saw that she was staring up at him. She had a smirk on her face and Reid raised his eyebrow.

"Try me." He teased and Renee tickled his side. He squirmed out of her reach. It wasn't well known but Reid's right side was highly ticklish. Renee didn't discover this until a few months into their relationship. Now that she knew this little secret, she used it whenever they had intimate moments. She never went over bored unless she wanted a tickle war to turn into something more.

"Hormones?" She stated in an unsure voice. She turned so she was lying on her stomach. Reid moved his hands behind his head and linked his fingers together. He looked at her with a dubious look. He knew she didn't really believe that. It wasn't that he minded to evening, in fact he rather enjoyed it but he was just curious as to why Renee jumped him when he got home.

"Obviously you're hormones are active and your libido is in over drive but the question is why." Reid stated and Renee giggled. She bit her lip and Reid could tell that she was trying not to laugh. She blushed and Reid smiled. "Hey, talk to me."

"Okay. Nora loaned me this book…and well, it's a smut novel." Renee stated and blushed deeper. She wasn't one to read such things. She didn't believe that there was anything wrong with it but a smut novel never really interested her. However, Nora insisted that it was a good read so Renee gave it a try. She didn't expect the reaction she got from it. Reid's eyebrows creased in confusion. He didn't understand how a book could cause such a reaction. He's read hundreds of books and never got such a reaction.

"What's a smut novel?" He asked. He never heard the term before. He bit his lip and Renee looked at him amazed. She was always taken aback by his brilliance and it is one of the reasons she fell in love with him in the first place. Yet, there were times where he was naive and didn't know the most common of things that most people knew.

"You don't know what a smut novel is?" She asked and Reid shook his head. "Okay. Um, imagine what we have been doing all evening in book form." Reid's eyes shot up and a surprised look on his face appeared.

"You've been reading pornography?" Renee laughed full heartedly. Her head was thrown back and Reid laughed lightly with her. He didn't really understand what was so funny but he laughed because Renee was laughing.

"I guess you could say that." Renee smiled and then got that look on her face. It was the look Reid saw when he arrived home from the office. "You know, they do have a good purpose. It gives me ideas for…experimenting."

"Experimenting?"

"Let me show you." Renee leaned up and crawled on top….

Reid was in a rather good mood the next morning. He walked into the office with a spring in his step and a good cup of coffee in his hands. The month of free coffee from JJ has ended and it was highly depressing in Reid's mind. He enjoyed having that extra fifty dollars a week that he didn't spend on coffee. It made him really understand how much he spent on coffee and that it really was an addiction.

He sighed. Olivia hadn't called about the ring that he was having resized. She had said that it would take a couple weeks but he had hoped that it would have been done by now. He sighed and went to his desk. He took off his winter jacket and placed the purple scarf that Renee had given him for his birthday. It was early winter and it hadn't snowed yet.

Morgan looked up when he saw Reid set his coat down. He smiled and he could see how happy he was. Morgan smiled and couldn't resist teasing the young man who he looked at as a brother. He asked why Reid seemed so happy and when the younger agent blushed that set off a whole new round of teasing. Reid's phone went off and he checked it.

"Who's that? Renee? Commenting on a passionate night of romance?" Morgan teased but Reid brushed him off. He looked at the text and his stomach jumped. The ring was ready. He could pick it up but he knew that they were going to have a case. It would have to wait. He would have to call the store and let them know he wouldn't be able to pick it up until his return.

"No. It was Olivia." He stated and Morgan stopped. He looked at the young man but didn't know how to ask him that question. Reid wasn't the type of person to do that to the woman he loved. The thought of Reid with another woman really confused Morgan.

"Reid, you're not stepping out on Renee are you?" He asked. Morgan was very serious and was looking at him. Morgan wasn't one for commitment but he never was unfaithful. The women he was with knew what they were getting and didn't expect anything, he was honest. However, he didn't respect men who cheated, mainly because his sister Desiree had been cheated on before. Reid was confused until it dawned on him.

"What? No! No, Olivia is the jeweler who is resizing Renee's ring." With that Morgan's mood changed. His smile grew wide. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees.

"You found an engagement ring?"

"Yeah. I found it at a small pawn shop while we were in Seattle for that bombers case." Reid stated in a distracted manner. He was more worried about figuring out how to propose. He knew he would just keep the ring on him until he proposed. He hoped that it would help him strike up the courage but he was terrified of Renee saying no. "I'll have to tell JJ that the ring is ready. She agreed to go with me."

"Oh really? I might have to join the two of you." Morgan teased in a good naturally manner. He really was happy for the kid. He wanted the best for him and he knew that Renee made him happy. He has known Reid for years and he was happier in the past year and few months than Morgan has ever seen him. Reid didn't respond to Morgan's suggestion. Instead of responding to his teasing, he was looking over his shoulder. His eyebrows were creased in confusion.

"Hey Morgan, who is that in Hotch's office?" Morgan turned and saw a raven haired woman standing in Hotch's office door. She looked sad and confused. She was holding a box and both Hotch and Gideon were looking at her. She sighed and head down the steps.

"No clue but what I do know is that we have a case." With that the two of them headed toward the conference room. Reid looked over his shoulder and watched the woman walk out of the glass doors. She turned to look back at the BAU and her eyes caught with Reid's. She smiled and nodded her head before heading toward the elevator.

Reid sat at a table in the same bar that had hosted most of the FBI personal that wanted a place to go to blow off steam. Around the table were JJ, Morgan and Garcia who all occupied him to the small jewelry store to pick up the ring he bought for Renee. He told Morgan and Garcia that they didn't need to come but they insisted. Olivia's face was full of surprise and shock when he came in with three people who she had never seen. She had assumed by Reid's descriptions that JJ was his fiancé. However, when he told her that JJ was as good as his sister she turned Garcia with complete disbelief. Her disbelief grew when Garcia linked her arms with Morgan. Deciding not to press her confusion, she gave Reid his ring.

The ring was perfect and it was exactly as he remembered, only a size smaller. He showed the ring to his teammates. JJ loved it, stating that it was perfect for Renee. JJ's opinion he wanted the most and it didn't really matter what the other two thought but he asked. Morgan didn't really have an opinion saying that when would buy jewelry for his sisters or his mother, the jeweler always all but picked out the piece for him. Garcia asked why he didn't get her a diamond. Reid stated that Renee wasn't the diamond type of girl.

Now they were sitting around a table drinking and eating the few things that the bar served. It was basic bar food containing wings, salads and burger with fries. They were laughing and enjoying themselves. While they ate Reid was waiting for Renee. He called her after they had picked up the ring. He told her that he was going out with JJ, Morgan and Garcia and asked her if she wanted to join them. She told him that she was having a girl's night with Nora but would come to the bar after they ate dinner.

"You guys didn't need to come with me." Reid stated as he ate some of his fries. JJ smiled at him knowing that he wasn't talking to her. She was the only one he asked to come with him. However, Garcia flicked one of her own fries at him and Morgan just laughed.

"Kid, we wouldn't miss this for the world whether you wanted us there or not." Morgan teased and Garcia nodded. He only hoped that they would keep it quiet.

"You can't say anything. Renee doesn't know that I thought that I was picking out rings." Reid states and he looks at all of them. He wasn't worried about JJ, even though did let it slip to Garcia that he was going to propose, however JJ rarely had contact with Renee without him being there. He trusted Morgan with his life and knew he wasn't going to say anything. However, it was Garcia he was most worried about. It wouldn't be that she told her on purpose but more of the Garcia gets excited about something, the more she talks and Garcia was excited at the prospect of Reid getting married.

"Pretty boy, don't worry. Our lips are sealed." Morgan stated and Garcia made the locking of her lips motion and pretended to throw away the key. JJ laughed at the motion and Reid shook his head. They continued talking but they all felt the underlining tone.

"So, Spence, tell us. Do you have any plans on how to propose?" JJ asked and Reid blushed. "Oh! You've been thinking about it!" JJ exclaimed.

"Spill my dear genius!" Garcia stated. Her face was light up to the point Reid thought her face might break in two. Ever since she learned of his thoughts of asking Renee to marry him, she had been bugging him to spill details.

"Guys, I've thought about it but I really don't know how I am going to propose." He stated honestly. He really didn't know how he was going to do it. He thought about it and went over several situations on how he might do it but none of them seemed right. He thought about just carrying around the ring until the moment hit him. However, he was a man of science and he didn't know if he really believed in such things.

"Come on at least tell us something." Garcia pushed. He blushed and thought about it. Morgan looked at him and knew that he was uncomfortable. While he liked to take make fun of him, he never wanted to make him truly uncomfortable. He never meant any harm by it. In fact, he would do anything to protect the agent he looked as a brother.

"Baby girl, leave him be. He'll figure it out and when he asks you can find out all about it." Morgan stated and Garcia pacified. They all could tell that she wanted to ask more questions but was holding them in. It amazed them all how much influence Morgan had over Garcia. He really was the only one who can reel Garcia in when she was being her extravagant self.

"I know I know but I just want to know!" Garcia exclaimed.

"Want to know what?" a voice asked. Renee had entered the bar and none of them noticed. She sat down in the empty seat next to Reid and kissed his cheek. As if on instinct, Reid wrapped his arm around her shoulder but he was eyeing the table, begging them not to say anything. However, they all looked scared and had no idea what to say. JJ was the one who jumped in and saved the day.

"Garcia here is still bugging Reid about Dr. Ava Hodges." With that Reid stilled. The only people he told about that were JJ and Renee. He looked JJ and she mouthed "I'm sorry". Morgan and Garcia were looking at him both with curious looks. Morgan was having that smug look on his face.

"Yeah, Reid here is being very quiet on the subject." Morgan stated. His eyes were on Reid who was looking anywhere but at the table. He really was uncomfortable. He didn't want to talk about his torrid relationship with his professor.

"You don't know who she is?" Renee asked. She thought Morgan would have known about it. That surprised Renee because he told both Morgan and JJ everything. With that JJ felt even worse. She was the only one who knew about the professor.

"No. I've never heard that name before tonight." The answer was very diplomatic and they all at the table could see through it, except Renee. She took it at face value. She wasn't going to say anymore, knowing that Reid wanted to keep it quiet. "Come on pretty boy, spill." Reid looked around the table and all eyes were on him. JJ was pleading with him while both Garcia and Morgan were looking at him. He knew neither of them was going to let it go. He turned to Renee who was giving him a sympathetic look.

"Dr. Ava Hodges was one of my professors when I was in M.I.T. I met her during one of my semesters while I was working on my engineering doctorate. I was in her class but when her class ended we got involved in a relationship." He shrugged and hoped that would be enough. However, the look on Morgan's face told a different story.

"My man! You have a thing with an older woman? How old was she?" Morgan asked. He liked this new information. Truth be told, Morgan had always thought that Reid was a virgin before meeting Renee. Now however, he had a whole new respect for the man.

"Thirty-nine." He replied.

"And how old were you?"

"Nineteen."

"Reid! That is a twenty year age difference." With that Reid blushed the reddest shade any of them have seen. Renee leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. She whispered something that made Reid's color deflate. "How long did it last?"

"Their relationship lasted until he went to the FBI Academy." Renee answered. She knew that Reid didn't want this conversation to go farther. Frankly, she agreed that it was none of their business. She knew that Dr. Ava Hodges and Reid's relationship was not exactly cut and clean but it wasn't messy either.

"So, who was the mystery woman in Hotch's office today?" Reid piped in. They all knew that it was a smooth change of subject but they let the subject drop. Yet, Reid wasn't naive enough to know that Morgan was going to let the subject drop completely. It would come back later to haunt him.

"Mystery woman?" Renee asked.

"Some woman was in Hotch's office before we left for the case and she was there after we returned." Morgan answered. He didn't really think much about it while on the case but he did think it odd that she was there when they returned to write their reports.

"You think Hotch might be having an affair?" Garcia asked but both Morgan and Reid shook their heads. Reid was thinking about to the box she had in her hands when she left. If Hotch was having an affair she wouldn't have anything of her's in his office. In fact Hotch was too cautions, he would never let her near his work place.

"No, Hotch is way too dedicated to Haley and Jack. He would never step out on Haley with another woman." Morgan stated and the rest agreed.

"Guys I think I know who she is. Before we left the bullpen, Hotch pulled me aside and told me a new agent was going to be detailed to the group. I was to show her around the office." JJ stated. They all looked at her.

"A new agent?" Garcia added.

"Yeah, Hotch said her name was Emily Prentiss and that she was transferring from Chicago." JJ answered. "He was looking over her file while he was talking to me. He said that she wasn't in the FBI long, about two years and had a desk job but was a profiler for Interpol before transferring to the FBI."

"Hotch told you all that?" Morgan asked and JJ blushed. She didn't reply but they all knew she looked at the file while Hotch wasn't looking.

"Why didn't she join the BAU sooner?" Reid asked. It was odd. While the BAU was highly sought after, if a agent had the experience from other agencies it wasn't uncommon for them to be brought in right away.

"No position is my only guess. We have been an agent down since Elle left." With that they all nodded. It was odd and stressful not having Elle around because they had to pick up her work. It would be nice to have someone new to pick up the slack but none of them really thought about getting a new agent detailed to the team. While it made sense, it didn't really cross their minds.

**A/N: Well, is anyone else excited for Emily Prentiss? I am, she is my second favorite character on the show. I can't believe she won't be back for season eight! I will miss her but I support her decision. **


	9. Chapter 9

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Nine: A Warm Welcome

The morning birds were chirping. The sun had just risen and both Reid and Renee were getting ready for their day ahead. It had been quiet for the past week or so, so it was a good chance that there would be a case. Renee had gotten used to this abnormality. While she wished Reid was home more, she knew that he loved his job. She would never ask him to leave it. She sighed when she saw him pull out his go bag. He was packing it before he was even dressed himself.

Renee, who had just come out of the bathroom, sat on the bed. She took her hair out of the towel that she had placed on her head to help her hair dry. She started drying her hair as she listened to Reid pack his belongings into the go bag. She grabbed the lotion that was located on the bed side table. She started to rub the lotion on her legs. Once Reid was done packing, he went into the bathroom and Renee could hear the shower turn on.

She then went back into the bathroom and started to dry her hair. She looked down at her phone which was still on the sink from her shower. Surprisingly, she had a text from her sister asking her to take her and her best friend Andrea to the mall on Friday after work. A new mall was opening and Renee knew Hannah really wanted to go. Hannah was more of a shopper than Renee. It wasn't that Renee didn't like to shop, it was more of the fact that she didn't like to spend the money. Their grandmother came from a wealthy family and Hannah was used to that but Renee still remembered her father working hard to support his family.

Renee agreed to take Hannah and her friend to the mall. She agreed mainly because she knew the chance of Reid being home was slim. Renee might have agreed to taking them knowing that there would be a new book store in the mall and Reid would loved to explore it. She smiled thinking about the three girls shopping and then having to drag her boyfriend away from the many shelves that contained books that he hadn't read. She wondered how many he would get through during the hours she spent shopping with two twelve year old girls.

She smiled but knew that it wasn't going to happen. She laughed when Reid started singing. It wasn't a well known fact and she knew he would be highly embarrassed if the team knew that. Reid sang in the shower. It wasn't really singing like they would hear on the radio because Reid wasn't the best singer. He was so amazing at so many things but this was something completely horrible at. Renee found it endearing.

Renee walked out of the bathroom with a smile on her face. She could still hear Reid's off pitched voice sounding from there. She pulled out her clothes out from the closet and laid them out on the bed. She dressed slowly and looked at the time. She was way ahead of schedule. She thought about making breakfast but knew that she wasn't very good at cooking anything. She could do oatmeal. As she debated, she heard something vibrate. Reid's phone was sitting on the bedside table. Renee went over to it and saw Hotch's name flash on the screen. If it was anyone else, she would let them leave a message but if Hotch was calling, then something was wrong.

"Hello?" Renee answered the phone. She could hear Hotch on the other line pause, clearly not expecting Renee to answer. It was only brief before Hotch's surprise decreased. Was it unusual for someone else to answer an agent's work phone? Renee didn't that there was a rule against it because Reid never really said anything. She would have to ask about that later.

"Is Reid there, Ms. Huggins? It's an emergency." Hotch asked. She had only ever met Hotch once. It was in her apartment after her father shot himself. After that she had never met him. Other members of his team used her first name, even Gideon because she met him on several occasions. Not enough to be considered friends but enough to be considered acquaintances.

"He is in the shower but I can get him." She stated.

"Please do." With that she pulled the phone away from her ear and headed into the bathroom. Reid was still singing off key and Renee briefly wondered if Hotch could hear him. He wouldn't say anything she knew that because it would be unprofessional. From the brief time she had met him and from what Reid told her about his boss, she knew that he was an extremely professional person.

"Spencer. Hotch is on the phone." Renee stated and Reid stopped singing. He turned the water off before all but ripping the curtain from the shower. Reid stood there dripping wet and Renee handed him the phone. He took it and Renee then handed him his towel that was sitting on the toilet seat. Reid took it and started drying his self off while talking with his boss. Renee went back into the bedroom and listened to the one sided conversation.

"Terror alert?" Pause. "Yeah, no problem." Pause. "It's probable but the likely hood is unlikely. The statistics are against it." Pause. "There are holes, of course but the security is too intricate." Pause. "Yea, I will be right in."

There goes breakfast.

Reid came out of the bathroom and dressed quickly. His hair was still dripping wet and she could tell that he wasn't completely dry. She could see wet patches in his clothes soaking through. Renee gathered the few things he hadn't packed and through them in his go bag. She then went down the stairs and into the small kitchen. She pulled out his travel coffee mug and filled it; then adding the obscene amount of sugar.

Reid came down the stairs and took the coffee from her eagerly. He kissed her lips gently and rested his forehead on her's. She sighed; he only really did that when he didn't know when he would be home. Certain cases they could assume a timeline but this wasn't one of them. Those cases scared her because they were the ones that caused the most trouble.

"I love you." He stated.

"I love you too. Go."

The jet was on its way to Guantanamo Bay and the three occupants were silent. A chess board was sitting on the table in between Gideon and Reid. They were focused on the game and on the new agent that was seated on the couch watching the game. Emily Prentiss hadn't spoken since they have been on the jet. It didn't take a genius to realize that Gideon hadn't been too pleased that Prentiss was with them.

He could tell that Gideon's focus was mainly on the new agent because he for once was beating him. Gideon was the only person who could really beat him at chess. Most people would be stumped when playing against Reid but not his mentor. He couldn't deny that he was watching Prentiss as well. He was curious about her.

Reid couldn't deny that he was impressed with her. Reid knew how to read in many languages but Arabic wasn't one of them. He was more profound in Latin. Yet, this woman knew something he didn't. She processed some type of knowledge that he didn't. He made a mental note to study Arabic. He remembered Prentiss saying something along the lines of her living in several Middle Eastern countries growing up. He didn't know much and he wanted to ask but he wasn't sure if breaking from the chess game would be a wise idea.

He could tell that Prentiss was nervous. He couldn't blame her, everyone was nervous on their first day. He was on his first day. Although, he couldn't remember Elle being scared on her's and that caused Reid to compare the two of them. Elle was very forthcoming with her past in Brooklyn, how her father died and her days in the sex crimes unit before coming to the BAU. Perhaps it helped that she had been in the Academy with Morgan that helped calm her nerves. Yet, Elle wasn't nervous and she didn't last more than a year and a half. Reid decided to take Prentiss's nervousness as a good sign.

Yet, he did find it odd that Prentiss was weirdly secretive and guarded about herself. She was all for discussing her short time in the FBI but didn't really discuss anything from her days in Interpol other than confirming that she had worked for them. All Reid really got out of her was that her mother was an ambassador, which explained living in the Middle Eastern countries. He also learned that she had lived in Rome during her early high school years. She was even vague about that, as though she didn't like discussing that time in her life. He also learned that she graduated from a private school in D.C and went onto Georgetown before transferring to Yale.

"JJ graduated from Georgetown as did my girlfriend." Reid had stated. He thought back to her reaction, not because hearing JJ went to Georgetown but because Reid was in a relationship. It was the normal reaction people got when learning that. Reid wasn't the type that girls were interested in and he knew Prentiss could tell that. Their conversation was cut short when Gideon had got on the jet. He shook his head and decided to fully focus on the game.

"Excuse me sir?" Prentiss asked Gideon. Reid smirked at the nervous tremor in her voice. Reid knew that thanks would win Gideon over. The only way that would happen would be for her to perform excitedly well and Reid had the distinct impression that she would be able to do that. "I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate-"

"Do not thank me." Gideon stated not even looking up from the chess game. Reid smirked and moved his hands to cover it. He raised his eyebrow at his mentor who looked at him briefly.

"Sir?" Prentiss was confused.

"This is not a favor."

"Of course. I know that." She smiled nervously.

"You are coming to do a job." With that Prentiss did not speak again, only nodding her head. She sat back and Reid pitied her. He knew she would be useful but he also knew that Gideon didn't want here there. While he respected his mentor greatly, when Gideon didn't get what he wanted, he could act like a spoiled child.

"Do you think the interrogation of Jind Allah will work in time?" Reid asked. He knew that Gideon wasn't going to say anything while he sulked. He knew that Prentiss would be more comfortable if they spoke of the case and Reid decided to end her misery.

"Interrogation is the most dynamic form of profiling." It was an invasive answer, dodging Reid's question because in truth, Gideon didn't know if the interrogation would work. He was nervous. Gideon remembered where he was on September 11th and didn't want anything to happen like that again, especially when they had a chance to put an end to it.

"That's not an answer." Prentiss stated but quickly shut up when Gideon shot her a look. "Sir."

"He has been locked away in Gitmo. He doesn't know we raided the cell safe house that is an advantage for us. My thinking is to get him talking about anything. Let his language and body movement betray him." He stated before moving a piece on the chess board. Reid soon followed with his pieces. "It's like this, you just focus on how your opponent holds his piece and how quickly and firmly he places it and then watch his face and body. I'll telegraph a players strategy, his training, his motivations."

"Is that what you need us to do?" Prentiss asked.

"No, I need you to listen. You are fluent in Arabic. I won't know the nuances like you. Every word. Every phrase. Be on the lookout for subtext, alterior meanings."

"What do you want me to do?" Reid asked. He was thrown by Gideon's assessment because he had the distinct feeling that he was profiling him while they were playing chess. It always unnerved him when people profiled him.

"I want you to watch for tells, non-verbal's, micro expressions, Watch him when he is comfortable and relaxed. Note the behavioral changes when he is relaxed. If we can establish a base line, we will be able to read him once I challenge his belief's systems. Before I will be able to get him to give up where or how they will attack, I'll first have to cause him to revel something of himself." He stated and then looked out the window. He leaned back and buckled up. "Game over."

"What are you talking about?" Reid asked and then the jet tilted at a high angel. The chess board flew to the floor and both Reid and Prentiss had to catch themselves.

"Gitmo's runway is perpendicular to Cubin airspace, so approaching aircraft have to negotiate a last minute ninety degree right turn in order to land." Gideon stated, catching his breath. Reid was disturbed and didn't know how he felt about that. He honestly thought he would die in those few seconds. "They call it the Gitmo twist."

"I was winning." He stated looking at the chess board.

"Actually, he would have had you in three." Prentiss stated.

Shopping with two twelve year old girls was exhausting. Now she understood why Gran always had an excuse when Hannah wanted to go with her friends. Both Hannah and Andrea, a tall girl with red hair, had more energy to go from store to store trying on several different articles of clothing. She didn't remember being this excited about shopping at that age. Then again, he mother was calmer and was more of the thrift store type. Savannah Moore-Huggins was a vintage type of woman. Renee always assumed that being her raised by Gran, who dressed very prim and proper, caused her mother to rebel in the only way she knew how. Her mother used to be a very compliant woman.

Hannah and Andrea were both munching on popcorn raving about some cute boy in their algebra class. Renee sighed. She loved her sister but could never understand how she would become giggly and bubbly about her friends but then be calm and relaxed around her family. Renee didn't think she was that way at her age even though Gran assured her she was.

Suddenly, Renee heard a crash. For a brief second Renee saw someone falling from the skylight and on instinct, she grabbed both Hannah's and Andrea's, who was screaming, shirts and pulled them back out of the way. The man hit the ground and he was dead, blood leaking from his mouth. Renee took both of her hands and covered the girls' eyes, even though they were pushing them out of the way. Renee looked at the body and then at the skylight.

There at the top was standing Derek Morgan. Renee and Morgan locked eyes and Morgan nodded at her. Something had been very wrong for the BAU to be involved and Renee wondered who this young dead boy was and what trouble he had caused.

"Time to go." Renee stated, grabbing both girls. The girls grabbed their bags and followed Hanna's sister. They were quite and Renee was thankful. Even though she knew they were in shock she didn't really know how to comfort them. Her mind was running to wild to her to be able to think. Reid was involved in this and Renee needed to know if he was okay.

"What do you think that was about?" Renee heard Andrea ask. Now that they were out of the mall, the shock was wearing off.

"I don't know but it will have to be on the news later, right?" Hannah asked and Andrea all but squealed.

"Everyone will know about it on Monday! We so have to tell everyone that we were there!" Andrea stated. Oh, the joys of twelve year olds.

Renee was walking quickly and the two girls were following behind her, talking about what possibly could have caused the man to fall through the glass. Their theories were getting wilder and wilder. They were entering the parking lot and heading toward Renee's car when she saw someone leaning against it. Morgan was by her car and it didn't surprise her that he knew what car she drove and where it was. He must have called Garcia for her location.

"Agent Morgan." Renee greeted. She noticed that both Hannah's and Andrea's eyes grew wide at the FBI vest he was wearing. That would only full their wild theories yet a part of her knew that some of their theories might be on to something. Her boyfriend was involved and he only got the more dangerous and scary cases. Whatever happened today was big.

"Renee." He paused. "Does Reid know you are here?" He asked and she shook her head. "Well, either don't tell him or assure him your fine and far away from this mall before you tell him."

"Why? What is going on Morgan?" Renee asked. Her fear and worry was mounting. What could be so wrong that would cause Morgan to worry and warn her that Reid might be upset? Something horrible was to happen in that mall. The fear that she was feeling was only mounting because her sister and her friend was with her.

"I can't say. National Security." Morgan stated and the pit of her stomach sank. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. She bit her lip and cast a look ward the two girls who were standing beside her. Their looks were different. Andrea's eyes were wide and scared. She was innocent and from Hannah had told her didn't have the problems that the two of them have faced. She came from a middle class home with both parents and she was an only child. Andrea's home life was like a nineteen fifty's sitcom. Hannah however, while still surprised, was less so. Perhaps it was because she was used to being around Reid or that she wasn't exactly naïve about the world. The incident with their father last year had woke her up and made her grow up a lot faster than Renee would have liked.

"Is this similar to the incident with the CIA?" She asked and she couldn't help but notice that Morgan's eyes grew wide.

"You know about that?" Morgan asked.

"Not much. I was there when the CIA pounded on the door at like two in the morning. So yes, I know something about it. Spencer wouldn't tell me anything." Renee stated and that calmed Morgan a bit. He knew that the kid wouldn't say anything but then again, she was the closest person to him. She knows more about him than he does and he has known him a lot longer. Renee felt something poke her in the side and she looked over to Hannah who was trying to get her attention. Hannah motioned her head toward the agent. "Agent Morgan, this is my little sister Hannah and her best friend Andrea."

"Hello." Morgan nodded to them. He looked over the two girls and smirked. He saw how Andrea blushed but Hannah was something different. She was just looking at him as though he was a curiosity.

"You work with Spencer?" She asked and Morgan nodded. "And here I was beginning to think that all FBI agents looked like college interns." Hannah stated. Morgan burst out laughing and Renee's eyes grew wide. She didn't think Reid looked like a college intern. She rather liked the way he looked. There was something about his sweater vest that made her hot.

The moment to joke was gone and a serious expression was on Morgan's features again. He looked directly at the two girls who straightened up. There was something commanding in Morgan's looks, Renee had never really seen him in such a role. The only time she could remember that would be similar would be when she first met him but then her attention really wasn't on him, it was on Reid.

"Now, you have to remember not to say _anything _about whatyou saw. Understood?" He was looking at Andrea and Hannah. The two girls nodded. However, she knew that they were going to have to have a conversation on the importance of keeping their mouths shut on the way home. She wasn't worried about Hannah but more so about Andrea. Andrea was still worried about what her friends thought about her. This would put her in the "cool" zone for a couple of weeks.

With that Morgan nodded and told Renee that she needed to make that phone call, if she was going to let Reid know. She was debating, even though she knew she was going to tell him. Whatever happened here today was serious and she knew Reid would be upset at the danger she may have been in, even if he didn't know what that was herself. She didn't like hiding things from Reid. She felt that they were always honest with each other and this would be no different.

Morgan walked off and the three girls got inside the car. They were silent at first but the farther they got toward D.C, the more talkative they got. Andrea still wanted to tell everyone they were there but Hannah persuaded her otherwise. Renee couldn't be any more proud of her sister. Hannah knew how serious the situation could be but it was still obvious that Andrea was lost in her own world. Renee liked Andrea but she knew the young girl still had a ways to go before she reached the maturity level of her sister. The remainder of the conversation then moved toward how handsome Agent Morgan was. That made her smile and she couldn't wait to tell Reid what they said. It would give him to tease Morgan about at work on Monday.

**A/N: I'm back! This would have been up sooner but I got caught up in reading **_**The Hunger Games. **_**Read them, they are really good. Anyway, Review please. **


	10. Chapter 10

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Ten: Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

They hadn't had a case since the failed attack against the mall. Reid, just like Morgan had said, was none too pleased that Renee had been at that mall. They talked on the phone while he was on the jet on his way home. When she broke the news that she had been at the mall and that Morgan had told her to call him, he paced. He didn't yell or scream but he wanted to know why she was there. He didn't tell her why she shouldn't have been there or that she couldn't be there, seeing that Reid wasn't the controlling type, but he did say that it wasn't something he was pleased to hear about it. She asked him why and all he said was that she could have died. He left it at that and she didn't press it.

He paced the rest of the way home on the jet. Gideon tried to get him to play another chess game but Reid turned him down. So, Gideon played chess with Prentiss the rest of the way home, something she was all too pleased about. In her eyes, a chess game with Gideon was like acceptance, and that is all Prentiss craved; acceptance. Well, that and to prove that she can do this job, which she knew she could. However, she lost miserably because her focus was mainly on the young man who was itching to get home. She could tell just by looking at him how much he loved that girl who was waiting for him. Prentiss had a man look at her like that once, but it was false. He never loved her and she never loved him, she couldn't and she wouldn't.

When Reid had gotten home, he simply held Renee for a good while. She let him even though she didn't exactly understand why. He just said that if Morgan and the DEA didn't get to them in time, she would have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He would have lost her and that was something he couldn't bare. She also said that Hannah and her friend Andrea were there and about the conversation she had with Morgan in their presence. She assured him that the two girls didn't say anything. Mainly because she asked Hannah who told her that she squashed any ideas Andrea may have had about spilling the beans.

Since then, both Reid and Renee were inseparable, except when they were at work. The only time they really parted was when Reid went into Georgetown for a lecture. The reason why there was such a large gap in-between cases was because this one was taking so long to close. Cases that involve national security had a lot more hoops that needed to be jumped through but Reid couldn't deny that he was enjoying the time he was getting with Renee.

Now they walked hand in hand through the busy metro system. Normally, Renee drove to work but it was being inspected and was in the shop. So she decided that it would be a nice idea to take the metro with her boyfriend. Anyone who would walk by could tell that they were together. They were happy and Renee moved so that Reid's arm was wrapped around her. It was cold outside and she could use all the warmth she could get plus being close to him really was just a perk. Reid stopped and moved his arm to grab her hand. He moved so he was in front of her and then he wrapped both his arms around her middle. He kissed her and they blocked out the world. Nothing else mattered. He leaned in so his forehead was against her's, both of their eyes closed.

"I love you." Reid stated and he could feel Renee's smile. It still reassured him that she loved him back. He was still a bit shy about saying those three little words. However, when she stood on her tip toes and said those words back into in ear, he knew. This was the moment; he was going to do it. He had the ring in his pocket. It wasn't the most romantic setting but the time felt right. He leaned in and kissed her again. "Do you remember the day we met?"

Renee nodded. She was so upset that day but Reid was like a bright spot. She was worried about Andrew and she didn't know what to do. The last thing she expected was to find the man of her dreams. She loved him more than life itself but looking back to that day, he was the last thing she expected.

"Well, I must say that I didn't expect to find love that day. Yet, you caught my attention. I didn't think anything of it really; I mean women never really ever paid any attention to me. Yet, you wanted to see me again. You made the first move and I was never as terrified as I was when we started dating. I think that was because I knew somehow that you were important….that you were important to me." Reid stated and took a breath. He looked at Renee whose features had gone soft. Her eyes were watery but she wasn't crying. He didn't want her to cry, in fact, that was the last thing he wanted. Seeing her cry always tore something inside of him.

He leaned down and kissed her again. "I love you."

"You've said that already." Renee stated in a watery giggle. She smiled and it made the butterflies in Reid's stomach flutter. She always did that to him. In the first few moments in the morning when his mind hasn't fully woken, those butterflies would be present. It was as if he had issues believing that she was really there. She was there; logically he knew that but his emotions always played tricks on him. Every morning when he saw her for the first time that day, it was like seeing her for the first time all over again. The butterflies were present.

"It's true. I really do love you." He stated. Renee smiled and leaned up to kiss him again. They heard a grunt from beside them and saw an older looking man pass them. It seemed that he was none too pleased about the two of them being very gushy in the middle of the metro. Renee laughed and Reid blushed.

"I know. I love you too." She replied as the blush was slowly fading from Reid's face. He smiled lovingly. It always warmed him that she felt the same. Those words coming from her meant more than anything. He really loved her and sometimes it just amazed him that she could feel the same. "You were saying?"

"I was saying that I never expected to find someone. Then I found you and now I can't imagine what my life would be without you. I want you by my side for eternally. I guess what I am trying to say is.."

"You're Dr. Reid." A young man was standing beside them. He was young and Reid's eyes traveled the length of him. He looked sickly in some ways. His face reminded him of a skeleton and there were dark bags underneath his eyes. His clothes where fitted well as though he came from some type of money. Renee however wasn't profiling him. She was focusing on the irritation and fear that she got from the young man.

"Do I know you?" Reid asked. Renee could hear the frustration in his voice. Renee had a hint of where his speech was going but now she couldn't be sure. She wanted it to be what she hoped for but the moment was gone. The bubble had burst and she knew that they would not be able to get back to that moment.

"I just know what you do." The boy said. Reid looked at him oddly and moved that Renee was behind him slightly. Yet, the young boy didn't even look at her. It was as if she wasn't even there. Renee could tell that they were going to move soon toward the exit. Reid took her hand in his.

"Okay."

"Look, I saw you at Georgetown a few weeks ago. You gave a lecture about sexual sadism and how you helped catch the Mill Creek Killer in St. Louis." The boy stated. With that Reid's posture relaxed as though the man wasn't as dangerous as they had thought. Yet, Renee got a sickening feeling. She knew that she didn't believe that this was the last time she saw him.

It was dark and the church had an eerie feeling to it. Reid wasn't the type who went to church, putting his beliefs in facts instead of faith but there was always that calming feeling that came with stepping inside a church. Yet this time it was different. He was here to something he really didn't want to do. He didn't know if Nathan Harris was responsible or not but something he couldn't explain told him he wasn't. He walked slowly up the aisle with one cop and met another.

"He says he's been here four hours." The officer who had been sitting in the church with Nathan stated. Reid sighed. He only prayed that to be true. He really didn't want him to be responsible for the prostitute's death. They walked closer but Reid told the cops to wait. He would take care of it. He walked into the pew that Nathan was sitting at and sat down beside the teenage boy.

"You had a lot of people worried." His voice was soft but Nathan didn't move. His head and hanging down by his hands. Reid could tell that he was repenting but he honestly didn't know what for. He hoped that it wasn't for the most recent murder or any of the other murders that had occurred.

"Sorry."

"You told that policeman that you've been here four hours?" He questioned. Nathan got uneasy and fidgety. That wasn't a good sign in Reid's opinion. It wasn't uncommon for suspects to get antsy when they were guilty. He didn't want Nathan to be guilty but Reid had to face the facts. It was highly probable, from what Gideon had concluded that Nathan would kill someone. He had only hoped that it wouldn't be so soon, if not ever.

"I snuck out. I started walking like I couldn't control it so I figured I come here and try to fight it." Nathan stated and he sounded sincere. Reid wanted to believe him but he didn't know if he could. He swallowed and sighed. Here it comes.

"Has anyone seen you here?" He asked. Nathan shook he head and Reid's heart sank. He didn't want to have to arrest the young man but he knew that he was going to have to.

"It doesn't matter anyway."

"It does matter Nathan." Reid stated and took a deep breath. "A woman was stabbed tonight and nobody saw you. I am going to have to bring you in as a suspect." The words rushed out as though he just wanted to get them out as fast as possible. He didn't want to say them but he had to. He saw Nathan's shoulders slump slightly. The young man was disappointed but he understood.

"You are going to cuff me?" Nathan asked. Reid sighed as Morgan, who hadn't come with Reid approached. Reid looked up at Morgan and they shared a look. Morgan reached in his back pocket and produced a pair of handcuffs. He then handed them to Reid who took them. He looked at the metal handcuffs before turning to Nathan. He stood up and Nathan followed suit. Nathan brought his hands together and Reid began to put the handcuffs on.

"You want to know what I have been doing all night. Nathan asked as he watched himself be handcuffed. Reid looked at him briefly, showing that he did indeed want to know. "Just been sitting here thinking that the only way for me to save people's lives in the future was to kill myself."

Reid sat at his desk, thinking. It had been a long couple of days but in the end it ended pretty with all things considered. Yet, there was something bothering him. Gideon stated that the chance of Nathan Harris murdering someone was high and he just walked out the door. He was an innocent man where all things were concerned. He had never committed a crime, yet. According to Gideon it was inevitable. Reid didn't believe that the future was set in stone yet at some point he had to believe that it would happen at some point.

He sighed. He thought about everything that had happened. They caught the killer and he was behind bars for a very long time if not for the rest of his life. That was a positive. The only positive really. There was tension between Hotch and Prentiss. He could sense it but he honestly didn't know what it was about. She was new, only on the team for a couple of weeks and there weren't any difficulties that she had caused. He didn't understand why Hotch would have any issues with her. In fact, he thought she was fitting in rather nicely. Reid would have asked what the issues were, Prentiss not Hotch, but his mind was worrying more about Nathan than what was going on between the newbie and his boss.

Then there was the Nathan issue. There was just a bad feeling deep in his gut. He didn't know what it meant but he knew that wasn't something good. He just knew that the issues with Nathan were not over if they ever would be. Reid just resigned to the fact that Nathan would murder someone. He didn't know if it would be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or in ten years but it would be sometime. That scared Reid.

And on top of it all, his proposal was ruined. That just put him in a far grumpier mood than he had been before. He jumped when he felt a small hand being placed on his shoulder. He looked over and Renee was standing there, looking at him. She had that "worried teacher" look written on her face. She only really wore that look when she truly was concerned about something.

"What are you doing here?" Reid asked. His head was tilted back and they locked eyes. He could tell that she was concerned about him. Frankly she had been concerned from the moment that young boy had all but cornered them in the metro.

"Well, I got a call from someone proclaiming to the tech goddess and stated, and I quote 'the boy genius has a stick up in all knowledgeable channel and I don't think I can pull it out, it's too deep.' So, she called me to do the honors. The three of us are going to the movies." Renee stated and Reid had to laugh. He looked over and saw Garcia standing there who then gave Reid a gentle wave.

"I don't think I would be the best of company." Reid stated. He was honest. If he had his way he would sit at his desk all night and brood. He just didn't feel like going to see whatever comedy she would drag them to. He just wanted to be left alone, mostly. He wouldn't mind Renee's company mainly because she would be in the room but most likely would be silent. She would be focused on grading something and the only noise she would make would be the systematic giggle or snort at what her young students would write or draw.

"If we were at home I would just let you sit and sulk but we are not. Besides its not healthy and you need to get out, so we are going to the movies." Renee stated and Reid did everything he could not to pout. He didn't want to go but he knew that neither Garcia nor Renee would let him get away with it.

"Can't we just go home?" He pleaded. He would be okay with going home. Home was safe and comfortable. He could sulk there as long as he wanted and he knew that Renee just let him be for the most part. She would snap him out of it eventually if he sulked too much too long.

"I highly doubt Garcia would let us." She all but pulled him out of the chair and dragged him over to where Garcia was standing. He sighed. He knew that there was no getting out of this excursion. He would be forced one way or another so the best option was not to fight it.

"What would I let you do?" Garcia asked with her perfectly manicured eyebrows rose. She cocked her head slightly like a curious child would. Renee giggled and Reid sighed. He knew it to be true. He was resigned to this torture.

"Letting us go home." Reid stated.

"Oh no, don't make me hurt you." Garcia stated and linked onto Reid's other arm. The three of them walked out of the bullpen with their arms linked. Reid thought it was an odd experience having both of his arms taken up by two women. He was only used to one but he couldn't expect anything less from Garcia. Bursting anyone's personal space bubble was an expertise for her. They walked to the parking lot and Garcia decided she would drive. She led them to her new bright orange old time convertible. Neither Reid nor Renee would expect anything less.

"Have you met Ester? You like?" Garcia beamed. Renee giggled while Reid's eyes grew wide. "Only 150,000 miles on her!" They walked toward the car when Reid's phone rang. The two women stopped as they watched Reid answer the phone.

"Hello." Pause. "What? W-uh-st-stay where you are I'm calling an ambulance." Reid's voice was rushed and frightened.

It was almost instantaneous. Reid's color went from his normal pale color to deathly white. Something was wrong and Renee could feel that pin drop. There was dread in her stomach and Renee didn't like that feeling at all. She could tell how scared he was. Reid rushed toward Garcia's car and snapped his phone shut. Both Renee and Garcia followed him in suit.

"I need you to drive us!" Reid stated as he hoped in the front seat. Garcia all but flopped into the driver's seat while Renee jumped over the side of the car into the back seat. Garcia rushed out of the parking space and hit the road. Reid told Garcia that they were going to some back road motel that only cockroaches found charming. They soon found themselves in the dirtier and scarier part of town. The ride was silent the entire way there.

Once they reached the motel, Reid didn't even wait for Garcia to put the car in park before rushing out of the convertible. The two young women followed him up the stairs and into the dank motel room. On the bed was a young boy who was bleeding. The sight made Renee pause. She had seen two dead bodies in her time and that was two too many. She couldn't tear her eyes from the dying young man. It took her a few moments before she realized that he was the young man who approached herself and Reid before.

"He started slashing himself up!" Said a woman's shaky and teary voice. Renee's attention was drawn to the corner where a woman, who Renee couldn't help to assume, was a hooker was standing. The women couldn't look anywhere but the young man on the bed. Reid ran to the young man and turned him over. He placed his hands over the sliced wrists.

Garcia removed her scarf as Renee stood frozen. She didn't know what to do and she was terrified. She could hear Reid screaming something at the hooker who could barley respond to him. Yet, Renee's eyes were still drawn to the young man. When she had encountered him on the metro she couldn't help but feel some type of fear from him and yet she felt bad and scared. She didn't want him to die but Rene couldn't say that she wanted anyone to perish.

Renee could hear sirens growing louder and louder outside the open door. Soon the sirens stopped and a few seconds later, medics were running inside the room. They had a hard time prying Reid off of the young man. When they were able to do that Renee pulled her eyes from the dying man and brought them to her boyfriend. She could see the distraught look on his face. He was crying.

That snapped Renee out of her shock. She walked over to Reid and linked her hand with his. She didn't even care that he was covered in blood. Blood could wash off. Reid looked down at her and kissed the top of her head, hoping to bring himself some comfort. He pulled her to him, covering her in blood. Renee wrapped her arms around his middle. Her eyes wondered to where Garcia was standing. Garcia was still watching the medics work on the young man.

It wasn't long before the team was there and that the medics were heading toward the hospital. Renee was sitting on the sidewalk watching the scene around her. Garcia was leaning on Morgan while wiping off the blood from her hands. Morgan's arms were wrapped tightly around her. Reid however, was standing close to her. They weren't talking but she could tell that Reid was frightened to move from her side and frankly she didn't want him to leave.

Gideon walked up close to them and he nodded to her. She leaned her head against his hip and she could tell that Reid wanted to put his hand on her head but refrained. Getting blood out of hair was a lot more difficult than clothes. Gideon stood beside Reid and looked at him.

"Paramedics said he wouldn't have made it without you." Gideon stated and he meant it to be comforting but she knew it wouldn't be. "You saved his life."

"He wanted me to let him die."

"He's sick. He needed saving."

"How many people's lives did I risk in the future?" Reid asked, still cleaning his hands of the blood that had come from the man's hands. She didn't even know his name, Renee realized. She would have to ask Reid that when he was more stable; when she was more stable.

"Profiles can be wrong." Gideon stated and Reid just looked at his mentor.

"What if it's not? What if next time he kills someone?"

"Then you catch him." Those words hung in Renee's mind for days after the incident. She knew she would be haunted by this day, as would Reid but it was those words that Gideon said that scared her the most.

**A/N: Didn't think I would make this easy did you? Nope. Sorry. This was one of the chapters that were in my head when doing the outline. There was no way I was going to let Reid get out his first proposal. I needed a fumble attempt.**

**On a more serious note, updates may or may not be farther apart. One because finals are coming up and two because my dad is in the hospital. It doesn't look good. He has colan cancer and he has taken a turn for the worst so that is my first priority. I will try to write as much as possible but life can be a bitch sometimes. **


	11. Chapter 11

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Eleven: Brother of Another

Reid hadn't attempted to propose since the failing attempt at the metro station. He spent a good deal at the hospital with Nathan Harris, who was then going to be sent to a sanitarium in Virginia. There was a time that Reid thought about moving his mother to a sanitarium in Virginia so she could be closer and had done the research. So, he was more than happy to assist Nathan's mother in the search. She chose one that he wasn't to found of but she had a connection with the doctor who was head of the hospital board.

Renee had been very supportive in his quest to help the young man. She was there when he attempted suicide and she couldn't blame him for wanting to help. Even when December hit and it started to snow, Reid would still venture out to the hospital. She knew that Nathan would be moved to the sanitarium soon but she knew that it wouldn't stop Reid from visiting the young man. Renee had gone to the hospital a couple of time along with Reid but there was still something that scared her about Nathan. He just didn't give her a very good feeling.

Reid knew that and wouldn't make Renee go somewhere where she wasn't comfortable. He could never ask her that of her. He just wants her to be happy and he wants to marry her. However, every time he thinks about trying to ask again, his mind flashes back to Nathan Harris. He didn't want that memory to haunt that occasion. He wanted the memory of their engagement to have a happy connection and not one with a possible future serial killer. Almost everything he has some type of connection with a serial killer but he didn't want his engagement to be one of them.

He knew that he would have to wait. He didn't want to wait. He wanted to ask her and whisk her off to the justice of the peace and make her is wife. However, he knew that Renee might want a real wedding. Nothing big seeing that Renee was still too shy for that but she would still want something with a white dress and those who cared about her. Reid shook his head, he couldn't think of that at the moment. He turned and focused on what was going on in front of him.

Nora had joined Renee and him for dinner at their apartment. Granted he wasn't paying much attention to their conversation. When Nora and Renee got together it was like the world disappeared and it was only the two of them. Plus, they were drinking wine and getting a bit too tipsy. Reid had the distinct feeling that Nora would be sleeping on their couch. He didn't mind, he felt that Nora was a very good friend to Renee and it didn't hurt that he had Nora's seal of approval. From what he understood, she never approved of Renee's ex, Max even though she had introduced them.

They were discussing some type of gossip that was circling the DA's office. From what Reid gathered from their conversation apparently it was discovered that the assistant DA was caught falsifying his reports and now would be facing criminal charges. Not only that but he was having an affair with his married secretary. Reid had a feeling that the ladies of the DA's office were more concerned about the affair than the fact that they were losing the assistant DA. In fact Reid could bet that some of the young attorneys will be trying to get that position. Sometimes ambition overrules shock and surprise.

His attention was drawn away from them when he heard his phone ring. Reid sat the book down that was propped up on his lap. He placed it on the coffee table and he could hear the girls laughing as he reached for the phone that was on the dining room table that was right behind the couch. He heard Nora say that "duty calls". The phone flashed the name 'Gideon' and Reid answered.

"Reid." He stated in his usual tone. He knew what these phone calls meant. He was going out of town but he felt some comfort that Nora would be here with Renee, even if both of them were in a drunken stupor.

"Reid we are needed in Chicago." Gideon's voice was extremely grave and serious. Chicago? Alarm bells went off inside Reid's mind. Morgan was in Chicago for his mother's birthday and it would have been extremely large coincidences if the case in Chicago was completely unrelated. Reid didn't believe in coincidences.

"Chicago? Gideon, Morgan-" Reid started but Gideon cut him off.

"I know. We are going to help Morgan." He paused and took a breath. Reid didn't know what this was about but he could tell that it was serious. Whatever it was, sent shivers down Reid's spine. "Morgan's been arrested. They are saying that he killed a young boy, several in fact."

"Murder?" He was shocked. He knew Morgan almost better than anyone. Everyone had their secrets but Morgan was pretty much an open book. Morgan wasn't the type to kill someone. He hunted people who did. He made sure that those who committed the worst crimes against humanity went away for life or got the death penalty. Frankly to Morgan, it didn't matter. As long as those unsubs could no longer hurt another human being.

"I'm on my way to pick you up. Wheels up in thirty." With that Gideon snapped the phone shut and Reid just stood there listening to the dial tone. He was in shock. The reality suddenly hit him. His best friend, one of the best men he knew was being accused of murder. It didn't make sense to him. Reid could wrap his mind around just about everything and he understood things that most humans couldn't even fathom but this just didn't make sense to him. Morgan wasn't a murder.

"Is it serious?" Renee's voice jogged him out of his shock. He looked at Renee and saw her worried face. He looked behind her and saw Nora's dark eye peering at him. He didn't realize that his face went sheet white. He felt sick and he looked sick. Reid rarely got sick and the fact that Reid looked like he was about to hurl worried Renee. "Spencer, is Morgan okay? Was Morgan mur…..is Morgan dead?" Reid looked at her in surprise but reran his conversation with Gideon in his head. From just hearing his side, he could understand how she would come up with that assumption.

"No. He has been arrested for it." His voice was surprisingly firm. Renee's eyebrows shot up and she looked shocked. She didn't expect that.

"But Morgan wouldn't do that." Her voice was so sure. Yet, there was a moment of doubt that passed through Reid. It was only a moment and he shook it off. He knew Morgan and he knew that this could never happen and that Morgan would never harm another innocent human being. However, the doubt flashed across his face and Renee saw that. "Spencer, sometimes Morgan can piss me off and sometimes I'm not his biggest fan but he isn't a murder. He wouldn't do this."

"I know." There was a knock at the door. Gideon was closer to his apartment than he had originally thought. He leaned down and kissed Renee gently. "I have to go." She nodded and Reid headed toward the door. He grabbed his already packed go bag that was sitting by the door. As he was leaving with Gideon, he heard Nora ask Renee if Morgan was the one who "pissed her off when you and Spencer first met?"

The Morgan household was silent. Fran Morgan had excused herself to her bedroom. She wasn't taking Morgan's arrest very well. Reid couldn't blame her; none of them were taking it well. The team was in disbelief but they were working to clear his name because they all knew he was innocent. His sister Desiree was scrubbing the kitchen from head to toe while Sarah was simple sitting in the living just staring off into space. She was the strong one other than her brother. She could handle this but Reid wasn't so sure if her sister and mother could. Reid wondered how they survived when their father was killed.

Prentiss had left to interview Carl Buford with Detective Dennison and left Reid alone with the Morgans. Normally it was JJ who consulted with the families but it made sense for Reid to stay with them. He was the closest one to Morgan. He looked around their living room and saw pictures of Morgan as a child. He smiled. Older sister Sarah standing behind young Morgan on a swing while he held baby Desiree. It was a nice picture and it really showed Reid how much his teammate really loved his family. There was another picture of two women who Reid assumed was his aunt and cousin; the cousin who went missing not too long ago.

Sarah looked at him and sighed. She had imagined how the Dr. Spencer Reid would look and she could say that she wasn't surprised. The way her brother described him was a dictionary on legs. From what she had seen, he brother couldn't be closer to the truth. She never met anyone who knew as much as Reid did. Well, she never met anyone like him before. Reid was really was a one of a kind guy. She tilted her head and stood from her seat. She walked over to where Reid was standing, looking at the picture of her aunt and cousin.

"I miss her." Sarah states and Reid looks at her. Cindi was a very beautiful girl, Reid had to admit but all he saw was a victim. Perhaps it was a side effect of the job. He knew how much this women meant to Morgan, seeing that she was all but another sister to him. Morgan would never stop looking for her. That was one of many reasons why they needed to get him out of this situation.

"Morgan looks for her. Every day that we don't have a case, he is looking for her." Reid stated while Sarah was still looking at the picture. She picked it up and traced Cindi's outline. From what Morgan had said about his cousin was that they were all close. Reid sighed and wondered what it would be like to have a tight nit family like Morgan had. He wanted that with Renee even though her family was rather small. Since her grandmother was disowned at a young age, that side of her family didn't acknowledge that they exist. Her father's side lived in Alabama and she didn't know them very well. They haven't talked to her family since her father was sent to prison, not because they blamed them but because they just lost touch. "He didn't do this. We know that."

"I know. Derek was always the protector. After our father was killed Derek kind of fell off the wagon for awhile but then he stepped up. He took care of us. Mom had issues even getting out of bed in the morning for the first few months but Derek always was the one to get her up. Desiree was a mess and seeing that she was the baby, Derek was very protective of her and even me. Growing up I always had to remind him that I was the older one. It got worse after he joined the FBI." Sarah laughed. It was humorless but Reid could tell that there were plenty of good memories behind was she was saying.

"Yeah, he is like that with the entire team, always looking out for us in the field and off of it. He would make a great unite chief but he doesn't want to leave this team. He doesn't talk about it but I know there are offers out there for him, within the FBI but he won't take them." Reid stated. It was true. Almost everyone on the team gets offers for other positions. Reid gets them daily and not just from other departments within the FBI. He gets them from the CIA, Interpol; even the British Special Forces have an interest in him. That doesn't include the several private companies and the endless teaching positions he receives.

"That doesn't surprise me. He loves his job and those he works with." Sarah looked at him and it seemed as though she was searching for something but Reid didn't know what it was. She just continued to look at all of his features. "He talks about you."

"You said that in the kitchen." Reid stated. He couldn't lie and say that he didn't get a feeling of pride in that. Reid often talked about those he worked with to others, mainly Renee but those he worked with were really all he had. Morgan had his family and a circle of friends outside of his work. It made his heart swell hearing that news. He only hoped that what Morgan stated was all good things.

"When Desiree was born it was no secret that Derek was disappointed. Now, he loves his baby sister but he always wanted a little brother to play with. He bugged mom and dad until our dad passed. He never gave up hope though." Sarah paused and looked at Reid. She smiled lightly and laughed. "He looks at you like a brother, you know. He really does care about you." With that Reid blushed. "I hear I owe you congratulations."

"What?"

"Derek said you're getting married." Sarah stated and she saw the one-hundred watt smile spread across his face. He looked happy and Sarah wondered what that feeling would feel like. She had boyfriends but no one who she could build a life with. No man looked like that when talking about her. She couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy alongside the pain of her brother's arrest.

"I haven't proposed yet. I tried but I was interrupted and well, haven't been able to work up the courage again." Reid stated and Sarah saw how he deflated a bit. It was true and Reid didn't know how to fix it. His mind was still haunted by Nathan Harris and since Nathan had interrupted his first attempt at proposing, he now linked the two events.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Derek made it sound so…..final." Sarah stated. She remembered the way her brother spoke about Reid getting married. He laughed joyfully and spoke about planning the bachelor party. He was very excited about that and it didn't surprise her in the least. Her brother was no saint and she could only imagine what a bachelor party with Derek Morgan would consist of.

"It's okay."

"Don't wait too long. No woman likes to be kept waiting." With that Reid laughs and said that he would keep that in mind. Sarah's attention turned back to the pictures and Reid followed her gaze. He could tell that she was focusing on a picture of Morgan. It was a newer picture than some of the others but Reid could tell that it was several years old. For one, Morgan had hair and was a bit less bulky. He still had muscles but not as much as he had now.

"Sarah! I need your help!" Desiree's voice sounded from the kitchen. Sarah sighed and turned.

"Sarah." Reid stated and she turned to look at him with questions in her eyes. "Morgan didn't do this. We will figure it out and he will come home." With that a smile graced her lips but it wasn't a happy smile. In fact it was sad smile that Reid had seen too many times on too many people.

"Dr. Reid, don't make promises you're not certain you're able to keep."

The jet was quiet. No one could really speak. Everyone was reeling from the information they had just learned about their own team member. They didn't judge him, seeing that he was only thirteen and it was a horrible crime that was committed against him. They didn't blame him either for not saying anything. Reid wasn't sure he would be able to talk about it if it happened to him. The incident with Alexa Lisbon was something he wasn't able to talk about and that was far less traumatizing than what Morgan went through.

Although learning what he knew now it was like putting pieces of the puzzle together for Reid. He didn't want to profile his friend but it was second nature at this point. They all knew there was an unwritten rule for the team not to profile each other but they all knew that the rule was often broken. They also all knew that the rule was being broken several times over by the entire team on the jet. To Reid, the fact that Morgan was molested as a child explained many things.

Morgan's inability to trust was explained. He trusted Carl Buford and he broke that trust in the worst possible way. Buford was a sergeant father to Morgan and was supposed to help him successes in life and in many ways he did. However, that help and mentoring came at a steep price, one that should not have been paid. If it wasn't for Buford, there was a chance that Morgan wouldn't be where he is today. Apart of that sadden Reid.

Morgan's promiscuity was also explained. It was common for those who were molested in their childhood often had several sexual partners and rarely committed to any of them. Morgan never really spent more than one evening with a woman and he always claimed that it was because of his job; unless Garcia counted but their relationship still confused Reid to this day. However, Reid now had to wonder if there was more to that story than was previously told. He wouldn't ask of course but it would always be in the back of his mind to wonder about.

Reid chanced a glace over to Morgan who was leaning back in seat with headphones on his head. He was sitting at a small table that was by one of the jet's windows. His family had begged him to stay home and Hotch was more than accommodating to give him the time to do so. However, he stated that he just wanted to go home. The team agreed to wait a day so Morgan could spend the evening with his family. Even with Morgan's protests, he begrudgingly goes and has dinner with his mother and sisters. Perhaps he didn't want to face them, knowing that they knew what truly happened when he was a child. Reid saw the look on Fran Morgan's face when she learned what really happened with Buford all those years ago. It was a look of pure horror and pain. Reid hoped that he never had to see a face fall like that again.

He also thought back to the words Sarah had spoken to him. The thought that Morgan thought of him as a brother warmed him. Reid never really thought about having siblings, having been an only child. The only person he really thought of as a sibling would be Hannah, mainly because he treated her as such, or at least, how he thought a brother would treat a younger sister. Since he planned on marrying her sister, Hannah would become his sister in a sense. However, if Reid had to have a brother, Morgan would be the best choice. They joke with each other and Morgan had a habit of teasing him to the point of embarrassment. Now all of that was in a new light of sorts. Morgan treated him, not as a kid but how he would treat a younger brother if he had one. That thought soothed him and made his smile.

He shot another look at Morgan and noticed that everyone on the jet was doing the same. They all were wondering the same thing. They all didn't know how to approach him now. They all knew how to work with victims but when the victim was one of your own, it suddenly was a lot more difficult. Reid wondered briefly if talking about it would be a wise idea, but he decided against it. He would never bring it up because he knew that Morgan would never bring it up either. It would be a silent agreement that neither Buford nor the young murdered boys would be discussed. At least between the two of them, whether he discussed them with someone else like Garcia was a different matter. Reid would treat him as thought nothing has changed, even though everything has changed in a sense.

Reid had a brother.

Reid sighed and reached for his leather messenger bag. It was no use really. He didn't like seeing Morgan sulk and brood as he was. Morgan would never let Reid get away with it so why should he? He dug through the bad and found the pack of cards he was looking for. He stood up from his seat and went to sit across from Morgan at the table. He could feel the entire eyes of the BAU team on him. Morgan looked confused. He thought that the team would just let him alone but he could help but smile at the pack of cards.

"What is this?" Morgan asked. Reid looked at him in the only way he could. That genius look of narrowed eyes and his cheeks sucked in slightly. His cheek bones were pronounced more than they normally were. It was that look that Reid got when he knew he knew more than those around him. It wasn't rude or arrogant but simply _Reid. _

"Well, I believe they are a pack of cards." Reid stated and caused Morgan to roll his eyes. It was obvious that the entire team was watching their exchange. It amazed them how brave Reid was. While all of them could stare down an unsub and not blink but none of them could talk to a friend who they just learned was just molested as a child, at least not without processing it first. Yet, here was Reid, talking to him as though it was another day.

"I know that smart ass but what are they doing here?" Morgan stated. He really wasn't in the mood but there was something about Reid that always made him smile. Reid had that effect on people. He could annoy the best of them but make them smile at the same time. He was really a one of a kind person and they all loved that about him.

"I was thinking Poker or maybe Blackjack." He said with a smile on his face.

"Kid, I'm really not it the mood."

"We could play Go Fish." With that he got a devilish look on his face and his smile grew wide. "Or perhaps 52 pickup?" With that Morgan narrowed his eyes.

"You would dare."

"Try me."

"Fine, deal. Poker not Blackjack, you cheat and Poker is harder to cheat at." Morgan took off his headphone and set them aside. Reid smiled and began to deal the cards out.

"I don't cheat."

"Really?" He didn't believe that for one minute. They all knew that Reid put himself through college by counting cards. It was no secret that he was banned from several casinos.

"Yep."

"Just deal pretty boy."

**A/N: Well, I'm back. Sorry for the bit of the delay but I've been busy. I have finals next week and I really should start studying for them…blah. But hey, I have the entire summer for updates! That's a bright side right? Next would be the fact that my dad is still in the hospital. He is doing better but they want to transfer him to Pittsburg for a great cancer center there. I hope it works. Anyway, Review! **


	12. Chapter 12

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Twelve: A Matter of Time

Renee drove down the street in D.C. She was to meet her grandmother for dinner. When she had moved into Reid's apartment, she hadn't been around as much as she use to. It wasn't that she neglected her family but she met someone who she wanted to build her own family with. Since Renee's absence had been noticed, her grandmother wanted to have a monthly dinner. So that was where Renee was heading.

Yet her mind was preoccupied. Marriage was on her mind. She was feeling that itch. She was ready to take that step. However, Reid hadn't asked. She had a distinct feeling that he had attempted to that day on the metro station but didn't because Nathan Harris interrupted them. She wasn't sure if that was his intention but she couldn't ignore that bubbly giddy feeling she had gotten while he was giving his speech. It was soon followed by led sinking into the pit of her stomach and then followed by disappointment. Since then there had been no more attempts.

They rarely talked about marriage. After the one time that Renee wasn't really sure she could really consider it an actual conversation, no one has mentioned it. Renee was too afraid of hearing Reid's rejection. She loved him too much to be able to bear the thought about him not wanting that life with her. She wondered if he changed his mind about marriage. In that brief moment when marriage was mentioned, Reid seemed highly pleased about the idea. That was almost two months ago and marriage really hasn't been mentioned since.

That made her fearful. She was terrified that Reid changed his mind about marrying her, if he was ever thinking about it at all. Frankly that thought was unimaginable. While she loved Reid and it would take a great deal for her to leave him. She knew that if he never proposed, she would simply live in some type of limbo of being his eternal girlfriend. Being with Reid as his girlfriend was better than not being with him at all. However, she knew that it would be painful for her.

She always thought, even as a little girl, that she would get married. She wanted that stereotypical American dream. She wanted the big house with a white picket fence. She wanted Reid to come home to her after a long day at work or from a long stressful case. She wanted to welcome him home with a kiss and watch him play with their children. Before Renee had a relationship with Reid or even meeting him, all of that was so abstract. However, the moment he stepped into her life, it all became so much more real.

If he didn't want that, she knew that it would break her heart. Yet, she knew that she would suffer in silence. If she said something, Reid would be the type to marrying her simply to make her happy, even if his heart wasn't in it. That would break her even more. She wanted him to want to marry her. She didn't think that she was asking too much.

Renee pulled into the parking lot behind the restaurant. Renee laughed. While her grandmother was unpredictable but there were times when Gran could be very predictable. This restaurant was her go to place. She loved it. It was the place that Gran decided on when Reid was going to first met them. She sighed; she had trouble getting Reid out of her thoughts lately. She walked up around the brick building and into the double doors. The same hostess was there as the last time. She pointed Renee into the direction of where her grandmother was sitting.

Lillian Moore was alone and that was unusual. Normally when having dinner with her Gran, Hannah was always present. It was odd and Renee didn't really know how she felt about it. The last time Hannah was absent for something was when Renee was in high school and she took that bus trip to New York. Hannah just had a slumber party to go with a small child from her daycare to the night she returned. While Gran was furious with her, she held her while she cried over the cheating boyfriend.

Now, Renee paused, watching her grandmother read over the menu. Even though Renee was twenty four years old, the thought of her Gran having a "talk" with her still terrified her. Gathering up all of her courage she had, Renee sat down at the table and Gran looked up from the menu. She sat it aside and looked Renee directly in the eye.

"I ordered for you." Gran stated and Renee resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Gran always ordered for whoever she was having dinner with, unless she didn't know them well enough. The time she, Renee and Hannah were having their first dinner with Reid, Gran made Renee order for him.

"I figured you would." Renee replied but it wasn't sarcastic or anything. "Where is Hannah?"

"Andrea's. Apparently she is having boy trouble."

"She's twelve. She should be worrying about what nail polish she is wearing not boys." It disturbed her a bit. Perhaps it's because her spend a good amount of her time with six year olds that it frightens her to learn someone as young as her sister dating. Then again, the idea of Hannah with a boyfriend was terrifying. She was way too young. She wasn't naive to believe that everyone that young was innocent but she wanted Hannah to maintain that innocence for as long as possible.

"They are starting younger these days." Gran stated and then peered at her granddaughter for a moment. "You have boy trouble when you were young I believe."

"Not until later in high school." She defended. It was true. Renee didn't date anyone until she dated Jacob Matthews her junior year of high school. She learned that he had been cheating on her since the beginning of their relationship. In fact, he had slept with several of her friends.

"Ah, yes. An infamous trip to New York City rings a bell." Gran stated with a small smile as a waiter sat down a small salad in front of each of them. Renee sipped at the water that was there waiting for her while she simply peered at her grandmother. "Although, I really can't speak can I?"

Renee paused for a millisecond. Gran rarely spoke about her past. Lillian Moore was a diplomat's daughter who had gotten pregnant at sixteen. Her parents gave her two choices, marry a wealthy gentleman who she would then claim that the child was his, whether he knew or not was a mystery to Renee, or get an abortion and marry the gentleman anyway. Gran didn't like either of those options and decided to keep her baby as a single mother. Her family disowned her and she raised her daughter, Renee's mother in a convent for the first two years of her life. It wasn't till Gran's grandfather died and left her a large sum of money. With that she bought an apartment building and her bank account grew.

"You've done well for yourself." Renee stated. It was always a touchy subject with Gran. Renee had to be careful on how she approached it. There was only one basic rule, don't ask who the father was. That was a no no. Renee didn't know why her Gran refused to give the name but Renee had her suspicions. At best, she didn't know and at worst he was someone important who was most likely married. Renee didn't like to think about it.

"Renee, I wouldn't be anywhere without help. If Father Lawrence couldn't convince the bishop to allow me a place at the convent, I don't know how those two years would have gone." Renee sighed. It was true; Father Lawrence had always been there for her grandmother. They were childhood friends and Father Lawrence was always destined for the priest hood. He was kind like that, always putting God and others before himself. When he saw his best friend that he had since he was a child suffering, he couldn't do anything but help. "Speaking of Father Lawrence, he asked about you."

And here it was the reason why they were having dinner alone. This was another topic that was off limits. The argued about it once when she was a teenager and it has only been brought up a couple of times. Gran had given her time to grieve after her mother's suicide but about six months after coming to live with her, Gran tried to get Renee back into church. Renee flat out refused. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy going to mass but it was religion as a whole. She believed in God but it was hard to put all her faith into him after everything he has taken from her. She hadn't stepped into a church since her mother's funeral.

"Gran, please-"

"Hear me out." Renee pursed her lips but nodded. It took Gran a minute or so before speaking, mainly because the waiter came back with their main course but Renee found it as an excuse for her grandmother to get her bearings together. Renee was picking at her food by the time her grandmother began to speak. "I know that you haven't been back to mass since your mother died and I understand, I really do but I hate to see you struggle like this."

"Struggle? Gran, I'm fine." Gran gave her a look that was in complete disbelief. "Really, I am. I'm happier than I have been in a very long time." She paused. "Look, going back there is hard. The last memory I have of my mother is her lying in that casket in that church. I just need time."

"It's been nearly ten years." It was true. It has been a very long time. She hadn't seen Father Lawrence or any of the other congregation except for the rare occasions of running into them at the grocery store. There was a time when she was very close to Father Lawrence. He taught her to play chess and had always been a good friend to Gran. "You are doing so well Renee. You're happy and Spencer is very good for you. Much better than the other two boys you dated, but I hate that there is this dark cloud hanging over you." Gran reached across the table and took Renee's hands into her's. "Will you at least think about it?"

Renee nodded and with that, the subject was dropped.

Frank was gone and Jane had left with him. None of the team was comfortable with the idea of one of the most prolific serial killers still on the loose. It was a silent ride in the jet and they all let Gideon alone. It was a massive man hunt in the dessert but no one could find him. The foot prints simply disappeared and it seemed that both Frank and Jane seemed to vanish as well. None of that set well for any of them.

Reid sat on the jet and watched the clouds pass by. Prentiss was sitting across from him looking over some type of file. He didn't know if it had to do with the case involving Frank or something else. It amazed him how she could jump from one case and right into another. He couldn't do that. One of the down sides to having an eidetic memory is that he remembered everything. Cases stayed with him and it took time to move forward.

Reid looked back at the clouds. His mind flashed back to Frank and Jane. Logically he knew that Frank couldn't feel love, yet, he couldn't get the way he looked at Jane out of his mind. He knew what love was, he felt it every time he looked at Renee. Yet, he wouldn't leave gifts like a rib bone for Renee. No, what Frank felt couldn't be love, could it?

No, it couldn't be. There was no possible way that Frank could love someone, or really feel anything at all other than the sadistic pleasure he gets from killing. Suddenly Reid's imagination went wild and he replaced Frank's image with himself while Jane was replaced with Renee. He got chills. The thought scared him because that could be them one day. If he did lose his mind and developed his mother's illness, then there could be a chance that he would become someone like Frank. Now, Renee wasn't mad like Jane but he knew that even with any sort of illness, he would always love her.

"Reid." He snapped up and saw Prentiss looking at him. "I've been talking to you and you haven't been even acknowledging me. Where is your head at?" Prentiss looked at him. While it has happened before, Reid spacing out wasn't normal. When he did loose himself into his thoughts, it took awhile for him to be pulled from them. She had only been with the team for over a month and she was still getting used to the eccentric genius.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about Frank and Jane." He was honest. He found their relationship just insane. There was no real logical reason for it. Most of the time when a serial killer was in a relationship the significant other has no idea that their loved one was such a horrendous monster. Then there were the rare cases like Tony and Amber Canardo, where one was calling the shots. While it wasn't uncommon for there to be killing teams but not like that case. Yet, Frank's and Jane's relationship just didn't fit in any textbook that Reid knew of.

"Yeah. It is mind boggling isn't it? I've had my fair share of relationships but none as twisted as that." Prentiss stated but she didn't make eye contact. She was always the type of woman who made eye contact with anyone who she talked with. The fact that she wasn't making eye contact when she said that didn't sit well with Reid. However, his mind was so full of thoughts that he decided not to ponder on it. "Something else is on your mind also."

He didn't respond right away. He contemplated one whether he should spill his most intimate thoughts to her. He honestly didn't know her very well and she was still a mystery. There was so much that was still unknown and he knew that behind her brown eyes there were secrets. He wanted to trust her but she was all too new. Yet, he could give her a bit.

"I keep comparing Frank's and Jane's relationship to my own with Renee." With that Prentiss simply looks at him in somewhat disbelief. While she could tell that Reid could be self-conscience, she never once heard him talk about Renee in any other way than flattering. She envied how his entire being just lit up when Renee was topic of conversation. She wanted a man to love her as much as Reid obviously loved his Renee. She wanted to meet this mysterious woman. What type of woman would captivate the elusive Dr. Reid?

"Reid, you're nothing like Frank. Why would you think that?" It really boggled her mind. She didn't understand how he would compare himself to a serial killer. Yes, they studied them and could get into their minds but that didn't make them anything like the murders they hunted. She silently wondered if it was Renee who he was comparing. Was something wrong with her mentally, like Jane? She wouldn't ask that but she had to wonder. She had never seen the woman or talked to her.

Reid didn't respond to her question. She could tell that he wouldn't answer her. Something was there that she didn't know. No one had told her about Reid's family history. It wasn't something that came up in polite conversation. Knowing that her question wasn't going to be answered, she changed the subject.

"I hear that there is a pool around the office on your engagement." Prentiss stated. She was surprised when Morgan had mentioned it to her. She didn't exactly see Reid as the marrying type. Perhaps it was because he wasn't her type. However, after hearing him talk about Renee, it made her wonder why they weren't already married. Reid sighed and looked at her.

"I told Morgan to put an end to that bet ages ago." He wasn't surprised that Morgan didn't listen to him. He would have been if his friend really did as he asked. It wasn't uncommon for there to be a bet going around the BAU but Reid didn't like being in the center of one. In fact, if someone didn't hear about a bet, there was a good chance that they were in the center of it. With that, Prentiss laughed.

"Did you really expect him to do so?" She asked him and Reid nodded in the negative. She laughed lightly and Reid cracked a smile. It was odd. While they worked together throughout the case, they never really bonded over anything. They never really talked about their personal lives. Well, Prentiss never really talked about her life with anyone. "So why haven't you? Propose that is?"

"Honestly, I don't know. The one time I tried, I didn't actually get the words out, we were interrupted." He paused. There it was again, the ghost of Nathan Harris. He wondered if he would ever get over the young man. It wasn't just that he was the main reason why he wasn't engaged right now but because he was generally scared that he made the wrong decision. The thought of his potential victims caused Reid to have nightmares at night.

"Bummer." With that Prentiss looked down at her file again. She felt as though that was the closest she would get with her teammates. That saddened Reid thinking that was as close he would get to Prentiss. With Elle, he had a friend but he wondered if that would ever happen with Prentiss.

Renee sat on the couch. It was late in the evening and she was comfortable. She was wearing a pair of leggings along with a tank top and one of Reid's many cardigans. Her hair was piled up on her head and her focus was on the TV. They didn't watch it often but it was a lazy evening and neither Renee nor Reid wanted to really focus on anything huge and drastic. They both had a lot on their mind. Reid came out of the small kitchen with two steaming hot cups, coffee for Reid and green tea for Renee. He handed her the cup and sat down on the couch. He took a few sips of his coffee and then placed his head on Renee's lap. Her hands then went into his hair, running her fingers through his chocolate locks.

The tea worried Reid. Renee only drank that when something was on her mind. When he arrived home earlier in the day, he could tell something was on her mind. Reid, being Reid thousands of possibilities flew through his mind. He came up with several things that could be the main cause of her abnormal behavior. He thought that she might be pregnant but that thought went away when he saw the newly open pack of tampons open in the bathroom. He thought that something was wrong at work or perhaps she had an argument with Nora. On the rare occasion that the two did argue it made him miserable too because Renee is highly temperamental.

Then the thought that Renee might want to break-up with him. That thought shot a great deal of pain through his body. That was one thing he wanted to avoid. He wanted to keep her at all costs. He froze. No, Renee wasn't his to keep. She was a free person and could do as she pleased. The thought that he wanted to keep her scared him. He felt like Frank did about Jane and he wanted to avoid that.

He sighed and took her hand that was running through his hair. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She bent down and kissed his head. He could feel the smile on her face. He tilted his head to look at her and she smiled at him. She kissed him on the lips lightly.

"What has been bothering you?" Reid asked and he saw Renee sag a bit. She looked at him and pursed her lips. That scared him. "Whatever it is you can tell me." She looked at him and smiled. That made him relax and he returned her smile.

"Gran wants me to think about going back to mass. I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back." It was true, Renee didn't know if she would ever want to go back but her Gran's words haunted her. It had been a decade since she had stepped inside a church. Reid looked at her with concern. He knew how she felt about church and being pushed into going.

"She can't make you go if you don't want to." With that Renee resumed with running her fingers through his hair. She didn't say anything at first but looked at her boyfriend.

"It's not that I don't want to it just…I don't know if I can." She paused and took a deep breath. "For a long time I thought God had forsaken me, what with my mother and then with my dad going crazy. Now, I'm not so sure."

"What made you change your mind?" He asked. He tilted his head upward again to look at her. He could see the conflicted look on her face and he knew that this was a decision she always struggled with. Reid wanted to be there for her and help her make her decision however he could not make it for her.

"You." Renee looked down at him lovingly. She smiled lightly and Reid moved to sit up. Renee leaned in and placed both hands on the side of his face. Her thumbs ran over his cheek bones gently. She looked into his eyes and she could tell that he looked vulnerable. "He sent me you."

"I'm not a religious man. I don't put stock in religion or blind faith. I believe in facts and proof." Reid stated. He loved Renee the way she was and wouldn't change anything about her, even her Catholic upbringing. Yet, he needed her to understand that church and God wasn't something that was really in his life. Yes, he read the Bible and knew every word of it but that didn't make him a religious man even though he understood religion better than most people.

"I know." With that, Renee leaned in and brought her lips to his. They kissed gently. It wasn't passionate or lust filled. It was a simple kiss that held promise of something more. "If I do decide that I need to go back and even though you don't put stock in it, would you go with me? I don't think I could go alone."

"I promise." Reid didn't realize that he wouldn't be able to keep that promise.

**A/N: I know. I believe that this is the longest I've gone without an update. Between finals, my dad and a nice visit from writers block, this chapter was difficult to write. Well Happy Mother's Day, here is my gift to you. Reid and Review. **


	13. Chapter 13

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Thirteen: The Beginning

The bar was busy. The super bowl always brought in more business than any other time of the year. The establishment was crawling with FBI agents, FBI personal and their loved ones. Renee sat at a table with Reid and two others who work with him. She wasn't exactly sure who they were but she knew that they were Dr. Who fans. Reid was enjoying himself and Renee just sat back and watched in amusement. It was rare for him to find people who enjoy such things as he does.

While Renee is closer to Reid than anyone else, they didn't share all of the same interests. She tried to enjoy the show that Reid loves so much but she just couldn't get into it. So, it made her happy when he found those who also enjoyed the show. She even suggested that he join a blog or something that discussed the show but Reid had that weird thing where he didn't like computers. The only one that they had in their apartment was hers. He even wrote his papers by hand, and then borrowed her laptop to transfer it over. He only had his work email account. She found it funny but his technophobic quirk was enduring.

Renee leaned back and turned out their chatter and looked around the bar. JJ was at the other end of the bar playing darts. She smiled at the woman who was like a sister to Reid. She found it funny now that she was jealous of her at one point. She knew that Reid used to have feelings for her but now those feelings were gone. They talked about it once and he said that he realized that JJ, while he cared for her, wasn't someone who he could see himself with. He didn't elaborate any more on the subject and Renee let it drop. She didn't really understand why JJ was still single. Granted their work hours were insane but the two of them seemed to make it work.

Renee shifted her gaze to Morgan who was in-between two women. Renee and Morgan got along but it was moments when Morgan really showed his promiscuous side that bothered her. Maybe it was the fact that she dated someone like Morgan and she was cheated on. She really didn't know why but there was something about him that rubbed her the wrong way. She was nice to him and could enjoy his company but Renee had to be honest with herself, if it wasn't for Reid, she didn't think she really would have bothered.

She over to Garcia and couldn't help but laugh. Reid looked at her with a question and she pointed to Garcia. He looked and smiled before turning back to his conversation while Renee focused on Garcia. The technical analyst was watching Morgan like a cat in heat. It made Renee almost flush but she knew that she and Reid have done things far worse than the look Garcia was giving Morgan. She moved from Garcia to the table where Agent Hotchner sat with two woman she never met. She assumed that one of them was the new agent Reid had told her about while the other was Haley Hotchner. They laughed slightly and Agent Hotchner pulled his wife onto the dance floor.

Renee decided to get up and walk over to the table, seeing that the new agent was now alone. It wasn't that Reid was being rude by not introducing her, it's just that when he gets deeply involved with something, like an in depth conversation about Dr. Who, he sometimes forgets his manners. It was one of his more enduring quirks that Renee loved about him. So, she kissed cheek and walked over there. Reid nodded before turning back to his conversation. Renee walked over to the small table, passing Garcia as she went. She sat down and the raven haired woman looked surprised.

"Sorry Spencer, is talking Dr. Who and I decided now would be a good time to introduce myself, I'm Renee." She stated and held out her hand. Prentiss took it surprised. She had seen Renee in the bar but didn't realize that she was with Reid in that manner. They had never met but she had envisioned what she thought Renee would look like, and she was way off base. Prentiss pictured someone like Reid who wore Plain-Jane nerdy clothes with thick rim glasses and frizzy hair. She imagined her to have a text-book brain with no social skills. However, the woman who sat before her was not what she was expecting.

"No problem. I'm Emily." She introduced herself as she continued to stare at Renee. She could tell that the younger woman was getting uncomfortable at her blatant staring. Renee shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Prentiss could tell she was getting flushed. "I'm sorry. You're just not what I expected."

"What do you mean?"

"Reid talks about you, a lot and from my impressions of Reid, I expected someone more like him. You're the opposite." Prentiss stated and Renee looked at her. She didn't understand what she meant by someone more like Reid. "I mean someone smart like Reid." Renee felt as though she was smacked and Prentiss's eyes widen. "No! I didn't mean it like that! I'm sure you're smart; I mean you're a teacher so I'm sure you're smart. I am going to shut up now." Renee laughed awkwardly because she didn't know what else to say.

"It's okay. I think." Renee's eyes shifted to where Reid was. He was still engaged with his conversation but his body was turned so she was in his line of focus. His eyes locked with hers and he just smiled widely. He was enjoying himself and that always pleased her. Reid didn't get to enjoy himself with people outside of his team and Renee very often. Renee raised her hand and waved gently. Reid waved back only more erratic than she did.

Prentiss couldn't help but watch the exchange. It wasn't awkward but loving. She had seen Reid go off on tangents and how his face would light up when he got excited about something. However, when he looked at Renee it was different. It was as though a blind man was seeing the sun for the first time. When he talked about her, he wore this small smile that made Prentiss envy this mysterious woman who had a man deeply in love with her. Prentiss couldn't help but notice how Renee's tense shoulders relaxed.

"You really love him." It wasn't a question. Prentiss looked at her as though she was an anomaly. All Renee could do was nod and smile. While it was easy to express her feeling to Reid, mainly because they know each other so well, Renee still felt it awkward to discuss her love life with those she did not know very well. The only ones who she talked to on a regular basis about her life she built with Reid was her grandmother (excluding the graphic sexual details), Nora and to some extent, Hannah. When Elle was on the team and before she pulled away, Renee could confide in her. However, looking at a woman who was not only new to the team but to her as well, she could see that this unusual woman did understand love on some level that was deeper than the rest of the team.

"I really do." With that JJ entered the bar from having walked out not to long ago. She waved to those on the dance floor and to Reid. The agents along with Haley whose hands were locked with her husband came over. Reid stood behind his girlfriend's chair. He kissed the top of her head lightly and she took his hand into hers. Prentiss's eyes were locked on their exchange. She never pictured what Reid would have been like as a lover but that act of love showed that he was gentle.

"We have a case in Georgia and it looks like a bad one. The director called me himself." JJ stated looking directly at Hotch. His face was grave and his wife's shoulder's sank. Renee wondered if she felt the disappointment and the worry she felt every time Reid left for a case. She wondered if the worry grew over the years, it had to.

"Alright, I have to take Haley home so wheels up in an hour. JJ, call Gideon and make sure he got the message from the director." The team look disappointed. None of them wanted their evening of festivities to end so suddenly. It was rare that the team got to participate in activates that didn't consists of mutilated bodies or traumatized victims.

"Agent Hotchner, if Spencer doesn't mind riding with you, I can take your wife home, that is if it alright with her." Her eyes flashed to the woman by his side.

"It makes sense Aaron."

"What about Jack? I'm sure Ms. Huggins doesn't want to drive to your sister's-"

"Agent Hotchner, its fine really." Hotch looked at the younger woman and agreed. It wasn't that he disliked her, seeing that he hardly knew her, in fact he couldn't help but respect anyone who could live with Reid. It was just that since he hardly knew her, he didn't want to inconvenience her. However seeing that she was offering and with his wife giving his team more time to get to Georgia.

With everything agreed, they all walked toward the parking lot that was behind the bar. Hotch and Haley transferred the car seat into Renee's car. Reid began to walk toward Hotch's car when Renee linked her hands into his. She pulled him back slightly and wrapped her arms around her middle. Prentiss watched their exchange from her own vehicle. Renee looked up and whispered something causing Prentiss to be able to read Reid's lips saying the words 'I promise'. They kissed gently before Reid walked toward the Hotch's SUV yet Prentiss couldn't miss Reid looking over his shoulder to the stop where Renee stood.

Jessica Brookes didn't live to far from the bar where they had gathered. Haley picked up her son and Renee had to admit the one year old was adorable. He wasn't awake but was in his car seat sucking on his thumb fast asleep. Renee couldn't deny that the young man looked more like his mother than his father but Jack had Hotch's eyes. She watched how gentle Haley was with her son and she wondered if that would be her one day. She wanted that.

The ride was silent from Jessica's home to the Hotchner house hold. They made small talk but it wasn't anything life changing. Haley asked how long she and Reid had been in a relationship. She even stated that she was far prettier than she expected anyone who was in a relationship with Reid would be. Renee honestly didn't know if it was an insult or compliment that two people she just met thought the same thing.

When they pulled up to the drive way, Renee offered to help her with the diaper bag and the bag of toys that they had packed for Jack while Haley carried the sleeping child. Renee helped her unlock her door. She entered the typical normal suburban home and smiled. She didn't know Hotch very well but this had Hotch written all over it. She did know, from the stories that Reid had told her, that Hotch was a family man. She watched Haley go up the stairs but after she asked Renee to set the bags on the kitchen table. It wasn't long before Haley returned to the kitchen.

"Thank you for the ride home. I knew Aaron was anxious to get on the jet." Haley stated. Renee's eyebrows creased in confusing but had to assume Hotch's first name was Aaron. Reid always referred to Hotch as Hotch and she never knew the agent's real name.

"No problem. I'll let you get some sleep."

"Renee." The woman in question turned and saw the concerned look on Haley's face. "From what Aaron has told me, you and Dr. Reid seem to be very serious and you seem like a very nice girl. I would hate to see you get hurt." Haley's tone was serious and Renee could tell that she was concerned.

"I don't understand." She just stared at the young mother. What could she possibly know about her relationship with Reid let alone whether or not he would hurt her. "Spencer would never do anything to hurt me."

"I know he would never mean to hurt you. Aaron has a lot of respect from he has told me. The way he describes Dr. Reid is a highly respectful gentlemen in the medieval sense." Haley laughed lightly and Renee smirked. While to everyone else Reid may seem to be a gentlemen, she knew that there were things that he had done to her in the bedroom were far from gentlemen like. "It's just not easy being with someone in the FBI let alone someone in the BAU. I'm sure you understand that but it only gets harder once you marry him and once the two of you have children, it only gets harder."

"Are you telling me not to marry Spencer?" Renee asked. She didn't really understand why this woman who she just met was telling her who she should and shouldn't marry. She didn't think that it was any of Haley's business.

"No, not at all. I think that you and Dr. Reid make an adorable couple but I just want to advise you that it isn't easy." Haley back tracked. "My point is, be careful." Renee could tell that Haley was concerned but she didn't understand why. Renee knew nothing of the Hotchner's marriage and she didn't understand how Haley could know anything about her relationship with Reid.

On her drive back to an empty apartment, Haley's warning rang deep in her mind. It wasn't that she didn't trust her (ignoring the fact that he didn't know each other well), the fact was that she knew she was right. It hurt when Reid left and she went to bed alone. He knew it was hard for her but she knew it was hard for him too. He was plagued with nightmares, as was she and they both slept better with each other. Not only that, they really enjoyed being with each other's company and being apart for days, sometimes weeks at a time was difficult.

Then there was the fear that he wouldn't come home at all.

Everyone had their quirks, even Renee did. She hated to admit it but she did. She left her heels by the door after coming home from work. She liked the shoes because they gave her height that she lacked but they were painful. The first thing she did when walking through the door was to kick them off and forget about them. Reid never said anything but she knew it irked him. He even began picking them up and placing them by her closet, she then would put them away the next morning when pulling out another pair of heels.

It was that reason that she couldn't get to mad when Reid would leave his cardigans _everywhere_. When she says everywhere, she means everywhere. Not just in one specific place like she left her heels but all over the apartment. She even found one in the cupboard once and had no idea how it got there. As she looked around the apartment, she saw that he had several in the living room, two hanging on the back of the chairs at the counter, at least six hanging off the banister and three hanging from the shower rode. They weren't messy per-se but they certainly left things lay around. Both were so busy that picking up took a back seat.

It was these thoughts that caused Renee to look around her apartment and sighed. It wasn't how she wanted to spend her Saturday but seeing that Nora cancelled their lunch date, she found that she was free all day. It was a perfect day to pick up Reid's never ending cardigan collections. She swore that every time he came home from one of his Star-Trek, Star-Wars or some other nerdy adventure, he also came home with a new cardigan or sweater.

She ran up the steps and grabbed her laundry basket before coming back down. The bedroom would be last seeing that the biggest problem was the living room. She started at the back, near the books shelf and just started putting the cardigans in the basket. She didn't know if they all were dirty or not and frankly she didn't care. She would wash them and fold them but wouldn't dare hang them up. Reid was picky on how his cardigans were arranged. It was almost neurotic.

When she reached the couch, she placed the basket on the coffee table and bent down to look under the couch. She pulled out not only a cardigan but one of her missing pair of panties. She blushed knowing how they most likely got there. Reid did have a habit to throwing her panties in which ever direction he felt like during the moments of passion. When she got near the banister and began to take the six cardigans and throw them into the basket.

When she reached the last one, a light brown one that was made of a heavier fabric that was one of Reid's favorites, she found that it was heavier than normal. Her brows furred but threw it on the ever growing pile of sweaters. However when the cardigan landed on the pile, she heard the distinct sound of something hitting the floor. She looked own and saw a small jewelry box lying on the hardwood floor.

Renee froze. She didn't know how to react. She knew what it looked like but didn't want to get her hopes up. She walked slowly toward the small box and bent down. She took it into her shaky hands and gripped it tightly. Renee walked over to the couch and sat down, the cardigans slowly being forgotten. She looked at the small box but didn't open it. Her heart rate was going a mile a minute and she was shaking. She worked up the courage to open the lid and when she did, she found the most beautiful ring she ever saw. It was a perfect pearl ring surrounded by diamonds.

Tears were flowing by freely as she simply stared at the ring. While she had her suspicions about Reid's thought of proposing, it was never confirmed. Now it was. Here was the proof that he was not only thinking about it but actually planning on proposing. There was some type of breath taking joy inside of her. She ran the tip of her finger over the top of the pearl. It was smooth and perfect.

She didn't know how long she sat there simply staring at the ring. She didn't know if she should pull the ring out of the box and put it on her finger. She wanted to but she was scared. She knew that she would have to take the ring off and put it back into the box. Renee wanted to put the ring on her finger and never take it off. She wanted that ring to stay on her finger for the rest of her life but there was no proposal as of yet.

It was like there was a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. One was telling her to put the ring back and go back to picking up the sweaters but not to forget about the ring. However, the other was saying to take a risk and slip the ring on her finger to see how it felt. She wanted to know that feeling, so it didn't surprise her that she decided to place it on her left ring finger.

It was a perfect fit.

She stood up and placed the box inside her jeans pocket. She held out her hand and admired it. Renee cocked her head to the side and bit her lip. She couldn't help but let the smile form on her lips. She squealed and did a little dance. There on her finger was everything she wanted. It felt as though the plans she had been making inside of her head would indeed come true. Reid was on the same page as she was.

Renee picked up the basket and finished picking up the cardigans, but left the heavy brown one out, knowing that she would eventually have to put the ring back. She didn't feel any hurry though, Reid always called or texted her when he was on his way home. She wanted to enjoy the feeling of his ring on her finger just a bit longer.

She didn't even feel any type of irritation about his sweaters anymore. She didn't think she ever would anymore, knowing what she found inside of one. Renee always found his sweaters attractive but now she deeply loved them, almost as much as she loved Reid. To increase her good mood, Renee decided to put on some feel good music on and danced around the apartment as she cleaned. Her eyes continued to dart back to her left hand and at the ring. She jumped when she heard her cell phone go off. Renee turned down the music and went to her phone. She saw Reid's name flash on the screen and her smiled widened. She flipped the phone open and answered.

"Hey!" Her voice was very cheery and high pitched. However, the wrinkles in her forehead creased when he didn't respond. "Spencer? You there?"

"Renee, this is Jason Gideon." It was just like that all the breath Renee had flew out of her. The pit of her stomach dropped and fear took over her. He would only being calling if something was wrong. Not only that but he called from Reid's phone. Her knees buckled but luckily there was a chair behind her. She sat down and began to shake. She knew what was coming. "Renee, are you there?"

"Yeah." She took a deep breath before beginning. "Is he-"She couldn't say it, Reid dying was one of her biggest fears and the fact that he could already be gone scared her more than anything else. She honestly didn't know what she would do without him.

"He is alive but he is in the hospital. You need to come to Georgia." It was commanding and unfeeling but Renee knew Gideon. There was emotion behind his words. "Garcia booked you on the next fight out. You'll be here before nightfall if you leave the apartment now."

"I'm coming." Renee stood and grabbed a pair of flats to put on. "How bad?"

"Bad."

"Will he…is he going to…." Her voice was breaking up. She closed her eyes but all she could focus on was the pain. It scared her that he would die before she got there. It scared her that she wouldn't get to say goodbye. She didn't want to say goodbye at all but needed him.

"He will live but it will be a long road ahead." That was some consolation but not much. He would live and she would be able to bring him home. Gideon and Renee said their goodbyes and hung up. Renee didn't pack a bag. All she grabbed was the brown cardigan she found the ring in, her phone and her keys. She walked out the door without turning off the lights.

Renee didn't put the ring back into the box.

**A/N: The last scene I had pictured since the beginning of the story. I debated on whether I wanted Renee to put the ring back or not and really wasn't sure what I would do until I wrote it out. I also had Hotch be the one who called her in my outline but Gideon just flowed better because they are more familiar with each other.**


	14. Chapter 14

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Fourteen: Relief and Tears

The flight to Georgia was long. Renee wanted to get there as soon as possible because she didn't know what condition Reid was in. While Gideon assured her that he was alive, that didn't mean he was okay. She wasn't prepared for his condition. She knew nothing of it and that scared her. Gideon didn't tell her what happened only that the love of her life was in the hospital and severely injured. Just because he was alive now didn't mean he would be later. The more irrational voice in her head said that she needed to get there fast because this might be her last chance.

Yet, the plane was going so slow.

She sat next to a woman and a small child. Renee looked at them longingly; wondering if that would ever be her. She always wanted a family but she only wanted them with Reid. Now she really didn't know if it would be possible. However, that was really the last thing on her mind. She curled up into a ball as the plane descended into Georgia. The mother was abolishing her daughter that was trying to unbuckle her seat belt. The flight attendant started to speak. She listened to the basic instructions as she wished that the plane would land so she can get to Reid. It was galling fifteen minutes before the passengers were able to unbuckle and were able to leave the plane. Renee shot out of her seat and was the first out of the plane.

She ran down the terminal, heading toward the baggage claim. She didn't have any type of baggage but usually led to doors to the outside world. There she could get a cab and text Gideon to find out what hospital Reid was in. She now realized as she ran past other people in the airport that she wasn't prepared for this. She didn't let anyone of her family know where she was going. Her students were expecting her to be in class on Monday but now she wasn't so sure she would be there. Frankly, she didn't prepare at all for this.

Renee thought about their future that, in her mind, hung in the balance. She didn't know if he would get the chance to propose to her or if she would get the chance to say yes. She didn't know if she would ever walk down the aisle to him or be able to bear his children. She wanted to be that mother on the plane with a small child who wanted to take the seatbelt off before it was time. Renee wanted that all and she wanted it all with Reid. No one else would be enough.

The more rational part of her mind was clinging to Gideon's words. He assured her that Reid would be able to come home and she had to pray for that. While she was coming up with all kind of sceneries where she was alone and Reid was gone, she still hoped and prayed that he would be alive. This was the first time Renee had prayed in years and she hoped God hadn't forsaken her. If there was any time she needed guidance it was now. Renee saw the doors up ahead but felt something from behind her. A pair of arms wrapped around her and she all but punched the person who was holding her. She stopped when she saw who the pair of arms belonged to.

Emily Prentiss.

She didn't expect anyone to get her from the airport because she thought they all would be with Reid. If she had thought someone would be there to greet her, Agent Prentiss would be the last person. If she really thought about it she would have expected Gideon or Hotch or even Morgan. Yet, Prentiss was the last of all of them but it made sense. She was the one person who was distant from the team. It wasn't that she didn't care about Reid or didn't wish him well. It was the fact that she was new to the team and wasn't as close to the members of the BAU yet. Logically, Prentiss made sense but Renee was anything but logical at the moment.

"I was calling your name but you ran right past me." Prentiss stated as she took in the young women. She was disheveled and it was obvious that she was in extreme pain. She was in a pair of jeans, a tank top and a cardigan that was obviously Reid's. That was painful and it hurt to watch Renee clutch her hands at it. The sweater acted as her life line because it still had Reid's scent on it. Every time she closed her eyes she would just imagine Reid taking her into her arms. It was comfort. "Do you have any baggage?" Renee shook her head in the negative and Prentiss sighed. "Okay, I will make sure you get some type of clothing. Come on."

Prentiss took Renee into her arms and lead her toward the black SUV that was parking, illegally by the yellow line. A traffic cop was there writing a ticket but when Prentiss flashed her badge the cop stopped and nodded. On any other occasion Renee would have laughed at something like that but it a situation like this, she didn't know if her body knew how to smile let alone laugh.

They climbed in and headed toward the hospital. It was quiet and Prentiss kept shooting worried glances in Renee's direction but she didn't notice. She was too busy looking out the window at the passing Georgia scenery. Prentiss looked down at her left finger and saw a ring that had not been there the night they were at the bar. While it wasn't traditional, it clearly was an engagement ring. She knew Reid hadn't proposed because he hadn't said anything, that and the entire team knew that once he did propose, he would be floating on cloud nine. That thought sobered Prentiss. Reid was in no position at the moment to think about marriage. A week ago yes but not now.

"That's new." Prentiss stated and nodded toward the ring. Renee looked down at her left hand. She knew that it was there but couldn't really bring herself to look at it. She still didn't want to take it off but she knew she had to. Renee didn't think that Reid would be able to handle seeing it on her right now. She continued to stare at it, unblinking.

"I found it." With shaky hands, Renee pulled out the box that was still in her jeans and opened it. She took the pearl ring off her finger and placed it in the box. She then took the box, closed it, and slid it into the cardigan. "Spencer left it in his sweater. He doesn't know I have it."

"I won't say anything." Prentiss stated and Renee nodded. Renee thanked her before turning back to stare out the window. The agent was helpless and really didn't know what to say. While she had boyfriends in the past, she knew that none of them meant as much as Reid does to Renee. In fact Prentiss felt slightly ashamed about how she discarded her lovers so easily, especially the most recent one. Feeling as though she needed to do something, Prentiss reached across and took Renee's small hand into her's. "He will be okay. I know it."

When the two women arrived at the hospital, they parked in the designated parking area and walking into the building. Prentiss was walking briskly and Renee was doing her best to keep up. Prentiss was walking as fast as she could because she knew that Renee wanted to get to Reid as fast as possible. If she could have without getting weird looks or stopped by security, she would have simply picked Renee up, she is light enough for it, and run to his room. However, that would be highly unlikely.

When they reached the elevator that would take them toward the floor where Reid's hospital room was located, they could help but groan when they saw how many people where waiting. Reid was located on the fifth floor of the hospital so it would take some time before they were able to get where they needed to be. So, they filed in, pressed the button with the number five on it and watched as the elevator grew even more crowded. They waited as people would file out and more people filed in. When the bell rung signaling that they were headed toward the fourth floor, Prentiss leaned down and whispered into Renee's ear.

"He is in room 508." Renee turned to look toward the agent and she understood what she was being told. There was no need to wait for Prentiss. Once the elevator doors opened on the fifth floor all Renee had to do was get out and go as fast as she was allowed. There were rules for running in hospitals. So, a painful three minutes later, the doors opened and Renee was the first one out of the elevator. She walked rapidly down the hallway, following the signs that would lead her toward room 508. Prentiss was not behind her and she didn't know where she had gone. That woman was more mysterious than Renee had assumed.

When she reached the room where Reid was staying, she paused. Renee closed her eyes, took a deep breath before stepping inside. She stood in the doorway and just took in the scene. Her eyes first landed on both Garcia and Morgan. They were standing and she could tell Garcia had been crying. Her cheeks were red and her chest was heaving. Morgan had his arms around her. He looked up and met Renee's eyes. He gave her a small smile before turning toward Garcia. He walked her toward the door and as they passed to leave, Garcia took Renee's hand and gave it a small squeeze.

Her eyes traveled to Gideon who was sitting on a small love seat. His face was grave but there wasn't a single tear running down his face. Renee wouldn't have expected anything less. He didn't look at her as she entered the room; his eyes remained focused on Reid. JJ was sitting beside his bed in a small chair. Her eyes were puffy and red. She wasn't crying but Renee could tell that she had been.

Slowly, Renee trained her eyes on Reid. His eyes were closed and she could see the gentle rise of his chest. She knew that motion very well, seeing that she had slept in the same bed with the man for years. He looked pale and sickly. She could see the sweat dripping from him. Renee didn't see any marks on him but that didn't mean that he didn't have them. His body was covered with a light sheet. She entered and sat down in another chair that was across from JJ. The two women met each other's eyes but they didn't say anything.

Renee took Reid's hand in her's. She lifted it up to her lips and kissed his knuckles gently. His eyes fluttered but didn't open. She felt his hand tighten in her's and Renee couldn't let it go. He was asleep but he knew she was there. Renee felt something on her shoulder and looked up to see Gideon gripping it. It wasn't rough but almost fatherly. They didn't say anything but a look said everything. With that Gideon let go of the younger woman's shoulder and silently left the room. Suddenly, Renee and JJ were left alone with a sleeping Reid.

"It was my fault." JJ said and Renee snapped her head up to look at her. However, JJ's eyes were focused on the sleeping man. "We split up. We shouldn't have but you know how Reid is. When he gets excited about something, or finally figured out something that had been bugging him, sense sometimes goes out the window. He just took off. He went into the corn field and I somehow ended up in the barn. I don't remember how or why but I did. Then I shot them."

"Who?" Renee looked down at the sleeping Reid, looking for a gunshot wound. JJ wouldn't shoot her best friend would she? Renee understood that accidents happened out in the field but surely shooting your best friend was going a bit far.

"The dogs. We watched them rip a woman to shreds and they were baring their teeth at me. They were going to kill me so I shot. I scared and the next thing I know is I am aiming gun in Morgan's face. Reid was long gone by then." Renee didn't really want to hear the gory details but even in her disputant state, she could tell that JJ needed someone to talk to.

"You split up?" JJ nodded. "What happened to him?"

JJ opened her mouth to speak but shut it quickly. Renee watched JJ closed her eyes tightly and her body go ridged. Renee could tell that she was replaying something in her mind. By how she was acting, it told Renee that whatever happened was far worse than she was imagining.

"I can't-….I…I don't know how to…there is a video. Ask Garcia." With that Renee nodded. The two women stayed silent. They didn't need to speak and frankly Renee really didn't want to talk to her. It wasn't that she was angry with JJ but a part of her was resentful. She didn't have all the facts but if JJ would have stayed with Reid, perhaps he wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed.

The doctor came in and examined him but Reid was still asleep. The doctor assured them that it was normal with the medication he was on. The doctor didn't say what that meant or what medication he was on. In fact, the doctor didn't seem keen on answering any questions they asked him. She knew it was because neither of them were family and Hotch was still his medical emergency contact.

About two hours sitting by Reid's bed, Agent Hotchner came in. She hadn't seen any member of the team other than JJ and Gideon, who would pop in and out every now and then. Gideon had brought both JJ and Renee food that neither of them really ate. He also stated that the entire team was back at the hotel and if Renee was tired, she was more than welcome to take Reid's room but Renee stated that she wasn't leaving. Reid was asleep the entire time.

She began to worry that he would never wake up. When she expressed that worry to JJ they were put to rest. JJ stated that he was able to walk into the hospital, with some help, but the medicine they put him on would help him sleep and heal. That made Renee feel better, not much but better than she had been before.

When Hotch came in, he placed his hand on Renee's shoulder, much like Gideon had done before. Hotch nodded his head toward the door and Renee nodded. She got up out of her chair and followed him out into the hallway. They walked silently down the hallway till they reached an empty waiting room. Hotch opened the door and held it open for Renee who entered. He then followed behind her. He motioned to a chair and Renee sat down.

"Is he going to be okay?" The worry of Reid's health was on the forefront of her mind. Everyone kept telling her he would be fine but she wasn't sure. Hotch gave her a grave look and Renee felt her stomach sink. He took a deep breath before speaking but he never broke eye contact. He really hated this part. He hated talking to families of victims but it was worse when it was a member of his team's family.

"Physically he shall be fine." It was an honest answer but even Renee could see how he was avoiding the subject. That angered her. Granted she wasn't married to Reid nor was she engaged but she was the closest thing he had to family. He meant the world to her and she hoped he felt the same about her.

"This would be so much easier if we didn't lie to each other." Renee snapped and Hotch nodded. "What do you mean _physically _he will be fine?"

"Does Reid still get nightmares?" Renee nodded, indicating that Reid still does in fact, have nightmares. "Well, they will only get worse. What Reid went through-"

"Which is what exactly! No one is telling me anything!" Renee all but shouted. Hotch didn't wince but only looked at her with pity. He couldn't imagine what it must be like to have the one person she loved in the world be in the condition that he is in and he could understand her frustration, only if there wasn't protocol to follow.

"You must understand that there are certain things I can't tell you. The case is still open and like all cases, won't be closed until the proper paper work is filed. What I can tell you is that Reid spent two days in shake with the unsub. There he was tortured and drugged."

"For two days?" Her voice broke into what sounded like sobs.

"We did our best to locate him and Reid of course, sent us hints in the only way Reid can. It took some time to figure out. As I was saying, physically he will heal but it is the mental scars that will take longer to heal." Renee was sobbing. For the first time since she heard the news of Reid's accident. She had imagined a car accident or something similar, not torture. "There is one thing I need to know."

"What?" It came out more snappish than she intended but it got the point across. Hotch's concern was gone from his features and his military stare was back in place. Hotch was never in the army or even the Marines but he certainly could pass for one.

"How much do you love Reid?"

"With everything I have." It was such a final thing. She didn't even have to think about the answer. She knew deep down that Reid was the only man she could ever really have those feelings for. They shared a look and Hotch nodded, knowing her sincerity.

"This is going to be a long haul and I need to know that you are fully in this. That you're not going to run away when things get tough."

"I'm here to stay."

"Okay. Good to hear it." Hotch paused before continuing on. He needed a moment to collect his thoughts. "The drug that was injected into Reid's arm several times was dilaudid. It's highly addictive and seeing that Reid was injected several times, he will have severe withdraws. The doctor is trying to slowly get him off the drug but Reid will have to do it himself. There is a chance he will fail and fall back on the drug."

"Like an addiction?"

"Exactly like an addiction." He paused. "It's one possibility. There is also the chance that his behavior will change, with or without the drug. What Reid went through will take a lot of time to heal. He may never be able to fully recover. He just needs those closest to him to help him. He needs you and I need to know now if you are here to stay and are not going to run."

"I'm staying and am not going anywhere." Renee stated forcefully for the thousandths time. She wasn't in the mood for twenty questions or to repeat herself. "What about his job? Is that endanger? Spencer loves his job."

"He will have some time off but I will make sure that he keeps his job, no matter the outcome." Renee had to respect that. Here was a man willing to lay his job on the line in order to protect Reid's. Other than herself, his job at the BAU was the only thing Reid really had in his life. She couldn't stand to see that be taken away from him. Granted, after what he had gone through recently, she wasn't so sure she wanted him to go back there at all. The more protective part of her wanted to lock him away in some professor's office where he would be safe.

"Thank you." Hotch nodded and they both looked up when they heard a knock on the waiting room door. JJ was standing in the door way. Renee stood and she could see that Hotch followed her lead. They both gave JJ an intense stare. If JJ left Reid's side, it could only mean one of two things.

"He's awake." JJ turned her focus onto Renee. "He asked for you."

With that Renee sprung and ran past JJ. She didn't care what the hospital orderlies or nurseries thought. She didn't stop when someone shouted for her to slow down. She just kept running. It wasn't far but she couldn't get there quick enough. She felt Reid's ring box in the pocket of the cardigan hitting her leg as she ran. She only stopped when she reached his door. She stood in the doorframe for a few seconds looking at him.

He was thinner looking now that he was sitting up some. His back was propped up against some pillows and the nurse was adjusting his IV. Reid just watched her do it. He was helpless and looked so lost. It broke Renee's heart. She took a step forward and Reid's head snapped up. He looked relieved when he saw her. Yet, Renee stood still.

"You're here." His voice broke and Renee could tell that he was having issues keeping it together. With that Renee walked the rest of the way toward his bed and sat down on the edge of it. She took his one hand and brought it to her lips. She kissed each knuckles much like she had done before. However, before she could kiss the smallest, Reid took her and brought it to his face.

Renee began to rub his cheekbone with her thumb while his hand stayed on top of hers. Their eyes remained locked with each other until Reid closed his. He just needed to feel that she was there and that she was real. While he was being held by Tobias, he kept imagining the last time he saw Renee. It was in the bar's parking lot. She had asked him to be careful and to come home to her. He promised her she would. He prayed that he didn't need to break that promise. He almost did, when he was lying dead on the shack's floor. He was glad that he was revived.

The tears began to flow. The only time he let a tear shed was when he watched those innocent people be murdered because he chose them too. Since then he didn't shed a tear. Not when he was revived and not when he was rescued. Not even when he took the vile of dilaudid from Tobias's pocket. Renee reached for him and brought him to her chest. He put his head into the crook of her neck and he let the tears fall even harder than before. Renee closed her eyes and she too began to cry. While Reid let out sobs that wracked his body, Renee's tears were softer and silent. They simply held each other.

Neither of them noticed the team standing in the doorway, watching them.

**A/N: Well here is the "Revelations" chapter. Tell me what you thought. **


	15. Chapter 15

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Fifteen: Back From Georgia

When they went home it wasn't the same. Reid was withdrawn for the first couple of days before he got sick. Renee knew that it was the withdrawals but she wasn't prepared for how bad they would be. Not only that but the nightmares where the worse. She had taken some time off of work seeing that she had some vacation time. She stayed with him the entire time. She held him while he had nightmares or held his hair back as his food went into the toilet.

He didn't talk much. He would discuss random things and he tried to be himself when the team would come to visit him but it just wasn't the same. He was distant but no one could really blame him. After what he been through it was no surprise that he was hurting. The trauma he went through would have damaged anyone.

However, after the first week it seemed as though the symptoms diapered. She didn't want to admit it but she knew what it was. Hotch had warned her about the chances of him falling back on the drug but she didn't want to admit that. He didn't do it often, only when the nightmares would get bad. He would pull out of her grasps and go into the bathroom, lock the door and stay in there for several minutes. The longest time he was in there was about thirty minutes. When he did come back to bed, she waited for him to drift off before going into the bathroom. There she found a needle, a tourniquet made out of an old belt and an empty bottle of dilaudid.

The next morning Reid knew she knew. The conversation was very brief.

"Please."

"I'm trying." That was the last it was spoken of.

The team had been to visit several times over the last two weeks. Garcia and Morgan were there almost constantly. Garcia helped cook (meaning she did all the cooking while Renee chatted with her) and helped clean while Morgan would sit on the adjoining patio with Reid trying to get him to talk. He wasn't very successful. Other than those two, JJ popped in frequently. She didn't stay for very long but Renee couldn't help but notice the worried glances she would send Reid's way. However, she never said anything.

Hotch came by a couple of times with his family and Haley of course shot looks of "I told you so" toward Renee. Renee was less than pleased with that. With all the stress she was under for the last two weeks she didn't need someone who hardly knew her telling he that she is wrong to be with Reid. No matter the pain or difficulties Reid was having, Renee was going to stick by him.

It was Prentiss that only came once. She found it odd and when she brought it up to Morgan; he shrugged and stated that Prentiss wasn't close with the team yet. Renee found it odd because the team was close but it always seemed that Prentiss was pushing herself away from the other members. She was kind and nice but there was something that she was holding back.

Renee shook her head. That was the last thing she wanted to focus on. At the moment she was sitting cross legged on their bed watching Reid get dressed. It was the end of the three weeks of his medical leave and he was headed back to work. She tried to tell him that he wasn't ready but he wouldn't listen. He insisted that he need to go back and now they were at a stalemate. She was also worried about the dilaudid. They haven't talked about it since that brief moment after she discovered the vials but they both knew. It was the giant pink elephant in the room.

She didn't agree with it but Renee wasn't naïve. It helped him sleep and he was easier to be around. Without it, he was grumpy and irritated plus he would get clammy and sickly. When he did go through the withdrawals she would hold him and cater to his needs. However, when he did shoot up Renee would just give him a disappointed look but she didn't say anything.

Reid buttoned his shirt and then grabbed the brown sweater that still had the ring in it. He had been wearing that sweater more often than not. Renee assumed that it brought him comfort or something. She did often see him holding the pocket where the ring was. She didn't mention anything. She didn't mention the fact that she knew of the ring. When they had gotten home from Georgia she helped Reid up the stairs and into the bathroom before placing the cardigan back on the banister where she had found it. Reid didn't question it.

Reid finished getting ready for his first day back at work he grabbed his leather messenger bag and turned to face Renee. He knew she didn't want him to go but he felt that if he was going to get better, than he needed this. He needed to be back in the environment that he was used to. It wasn't that he didn't like his apartment he shared with Renee but he needed something different.

"Don't go." Renee whispered. He saw the tears in her eyes and it broke his heart. Part of him didn't want to leave. Part of him wanted to strip down and crawl back into bed with her. However, he needed to go back to work. He thought that if he was ever going to be able to overcome this, he needed to be back to his regular routine.

"I have to." Renee sat up on her knees and began to pick invisible lint that was on his sweater. She then leaned in and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. They stayed like that for several minutes. Renee buried her head into his neck and inhaled. She almost lost him and she didn't want to let him go.

"Do you have everything?" By everything she meant the dilaudid. He knew that and this was the first time she really brought it up since that one other time. He wasn't proud of it but it helped. The withdrawal was brutal but it also helped him escape. The memories were just as bad and dilaudid helped him escape.

"Yes." He answered her honestly. He didn't want to lie to her and while she never directly asked him about his use of dilaudid, she knew.

"Will you use it?" It was a tough question. He knew that drug use on the job was a huge risk and could cause him to lose his job that he loved. However, he didn't want to go through the withdrawal and he knew that it would be difficult just jumping back into the saddle. The other thing that was on his mind was that he knew Renee didn't want him to use the dilaudid. That was a major factor on why he went so long in-between doses. Out of everyone in his life, she was the last person he wanted to disappoint.

"I'll try not to." He promised and Renee nodded. They kissed gently and he pulled away from her. Renee got off the bed and grabbed his hand. They walked down the stairs together, hand in hand, and she walked him toward the door. His go bad was stationed beside the door, just like it always was and Renee picked it up. She handed the bag to him and he kissed the top of her head.

She couldn't deny that she was worried almost to a frantic point. The last time she said goodbye to him he needed up in the hospital from being drugged and tortured. She was terrified that she was going to get another call like the one she received from Gideon, only this time she was petrified that he wouldn't be alive the next time. She always knew that his job was dangerous but this was the first time that it really hit home. When Reid turned to leave she grabbed his hand and squeezed it one last time. He turned and looked back at her.

"Will you call me periodically? I just want to make sure you're okay." Renee asked and he could see the paralyzing fear behind her eyes. Reid smiled ruefully and nodded. He kissed her head one last time before leaving the door. Renee stood there looking at the back of the wooden door with her arms wrapped around herself.

After a few moments, Renee turned and headed into the living room. She walked toward the bookshelves that only housed her items. It was odd that when she moved in Reid insisted that she have her own bookshelf. She later figured out that Reid wanted her to have her own because he had so many books and items that one or two bookshelves would not be enough; she needed her own for her collection of novels and photos.

Before they left Georgia, Garcia had pulled her aside and gave her a DVD. She said that it was the video of what happened to Reid. JJ had told her that Renee had been asking questions and JJ persuaded Garcia to give her the DVD. That DVD had been sitting on her bookshelf for the past few weeks because she didn't want to watch it around Reid. Something told her that that would just be a bad idea. So, now that she was alone for the first time in weeks she took the disk in her shaky hands and put it into the DVD player. Renee went over to the old love-set and picked up the remote control. She inhaled deeply and let her shaky finger press play.

Reid opened the Westchester County's police station bathroom door for what seemed to be the millionth time and locked it. His back was pressed against it and he sank to the floor. His bag that was slung over his shoulder was now lounging on the ground. His eyes were closed tightly and he tried to block out the mental pictures in his head. For the past few weeks the only thing that replayed in his mind was the two days he spent in a shake with Tobias Hankel. Now he only saw those photos of those young girls in the leaves.

He had seen much worse than those photos and he knew that but there was something about seeing the girls in the leaves. He knew the fear that they must have felt, seeing that he lived for two days in the exact same state of fear. He was cracking and he only prayed that the team didn't notice. He knew that they were watching him closely and that scared him. Could they know that he wasn't fully off of dilaudid? He didn't think so because if they did, the higher ups surely would have been told and Reid most likely would be out of a job or sent to some type of rehab facility. Neither has happened yet.

He opened his eyes to look around the bathroom. He sighed and brought his hand to his forehead. It was clammy and he was nauseous. It had been a while since he last shot up and he knew that he was going to go through withdrawal. It was already starting. It was at the early stages and he hoped that the case would be solved before he started convulsing and vomiting. He was also hoping to avoid the abdominal pains but he knew that was unlikely. He also knew that he might just give in and use again. He didn't want to because he knew that it would hurt Renee in the long run but the memories and nightmares were bad enough without the withdrawal symptoms.

He also never really went through a full cycle of withdrawal because he could never do it. It became too much and he needed that fix. He needed to be able to forget and to ease the pain, both physical and mental. Reid jumped when a knock came to the bathroom door. He stood and unlocked it to see JJ behind the door. Her eyes were concerned and worried.

"Spence you okay?" Her voice was timid and small. He knew she blamed herself for what had happened and he wanted to tell her that it was all right but he couldn't bring himself to do so. It wasn't that he was angry with her but more of the fact that he didn't want to bring up the subject with anyone on the team at all, even if it meant easing other's pain. He was dealing with his own pain to really notice at the moment.

"I'm okay." He brushed passed her and back into the police station. Most of the cops had over looked him and while that might have bothered him before, he all but prayed for it now. He didn't need to see how weak he was at the moment. He was close to giving in and he knew that.

"Reid-"

"What!" He jumped and turned to see Hotch staring at him. Hotch stared at him with narrowed eyes. Even some of the cops were staring at him. Now Reid just wanted to go back to them ignoring him. Not only that but he just all but screamed at his boss which would never go over very well. Hotch wasn't a man to be walked on.

"Are you okay Reid?" Hotch asked concerned. Reid's eyebrows creased in concern. He expected Hotch to discipline him or to even remove him from the case. He didn't expect him to seem concerned. This action surprised him. When Elle had shot Lee in cold blood, he could see Hotch's disbelief and his jump into proving Elle was guilty because they all knew she was. Now however, the look on Hotch's face was similar to the one he wore when he looked for a missing child. It was fatherly and caring.

"I'm fine." He stated for what felt like the millionth time. However he could tell that his supervisor wasn't convinced. Hotch pursed his lips but didn't say anything. Reid was pleased but he knew it was because he didn't want to make a scene in front of the officers.

"Do you have geographical profile?" Reid nodded and handed him the profile. They went through everything that needed to be done but he knew that his boss was still watching him. He could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of his head every time he moved. He knew that there would be a conversation either that night or on the jet when the case was over. "Why don't you go and lay down at the hotel?"

"I'm fine." He really hated those two words at the moment. He really wished that they would leave him alone. He knew that they only cared but he didn't need their sympathy. Frankly, he knew that if he showed that he was hurting in front of them he would also show them that he was weak and couldn't do his job. They already saw that in the video that Tobias Hankel's alter ego had taken. It seemed as though that was all they thought about when they looked at Reid, or so Reid thought.

Renee stood in the kitchen preparing an easy dinner with her hands shaking. The past couple of days she hadn't really been herself. Besides the extreme worry she felt for Reid being away on a case, she was also continuously reliving the video she had watched. She didn't really know how she would be able to look at him the same. She had been told what he had endured by Hotch and Gideon and of course the small confessions Reid would give when he awoke from a nightmare but now that she had fully seen what had happened, it was so much worse.

Now she truly understood why it was hard for him to give up the dilaudid. If that would have been her, she would be shooting up to. While she still wanted him to give it up and be completely clean, she knew that when he did stick the needle in his arm again, she couldn't be as disappointed. Reid was strong and Renee knew that with time and help he could recover but she wasn't naïve enough to believe that the innocent and virtuous man she fell in love with would ever fully return to her. No matter what state he was in, Renee would love him. She would just have to learn to love the now scarred man that returned from Georgia with her.

Renee sat down the knife she had been cutting with, leaned against the cupboard and sank to the floor with her back against the wood. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. This had happened many times since she watched the video. While everything she had seen was horrifying and it was even worse since the man she loved more than anything was the victim, the part where Reid was lying lifeless on the floor of the shack was the worse. She kept seeing his corpse when she closed her eyes. It really hit her how close she was to losing him.

That was more painful than anything.

She heard the door open and a bag being sat on the ground but she didn't really register it. She heard footsteps and someone calling her name but she was still focusing on Reid's lifeless body. She knew she was crying because every time she would "wake" from this coma like trance, her face was always tear stained.

"Renee?" The voice was soft but it wasn't long before it turned frantic. "Renee!" She heard the footsteps quicken and she heard then stop before her. She felt someone kneel beside her and she felt his hands on her shoulder. Renee opened her eyes to see Reid's pale and sickly face twisted with fear staring back at her. "What's wrong?"

Renee reached out and traced the outline of his features. He was here and he was real. The image of his lifeless body was just that, and image. While she couldn't say it wasn't real, for it had been real at one point, the reality was sitting in front of her. He wasn't exactly how she would like, seeing that he was unhappy and sick but at least he was alive. That mattered the most to her.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" With that she broke down completely. Her sobs grew louder and heavier. She had trouble breathing and she was almost dry heaving. Reid, not really sure on what to do, took her into his arms protectively and held her close. Renee felt guilty for taking comfort in him since he was the one who was suffering greatly but she needed him.

"Garcia gave me a DVD and I watched it and I'm so sorry." Reid eyes creased in confusion. He truly didn't understand what DVD Garcia could have given her that would make her react this way. He looked down at her and into her ice blue eyes. Suddenly, he knew what DVD Garcia had given her. Pain coursed through him and he pushed her way. He slumped and his back rested against the oven.

"You saw it then? You saw everything?" Reid asked and Renee, who had gone completely stiff, nodded. With that Reid was the one who broke down in tears. This time Renee took him in her arms and his head rest on her shoulder. While he pushed others away when they tried to comfort him, he didn't have that strength to do that with her. "I don't want your pity."

"No!" Renee was shocked that he would suggest such a thing. She didn't pity him. She couldn't ever do that. She loved him too much to pity him. "I don't pity you Spencer. I couldn't. If anything I want to take your pain away. I want to erase that entire case. I wish for it to never happen. I wish for you to never have to have felt death. I wish I could spare you that pain and put myself in your place. I would do that if I could." She would to. If given the chance, she would put herself in Reid's place and take the torture that he went through without a second thought. If it meant sparing him.

"I wouldn't want that for you." He paused and closed his eyes. He knew she was still crying and she was trying her hardest not to sob but he could tell that she was having difficulty doing so. She was trying to be the strong one of the two of them. He couldn't imagine what it would be like for him to watch her be tortured and nearly killed in a small shack. Having been there and suffered the unimaginable, he didn't know if he could really stand it if it had been her.

"I don't want that for you either."

It was really in that moment that Reid realized that he was going to try harder. He knew that he would fail along the way and that it wouldn't be easy. However, she deserved that. She was here and watching over him while he was nearly destroying everything that was good in his life. He would try and he could only hope that he would succeed.

His thoughts turned slightly toward something he had been pushing in the back of his mind. While he had died, before he thought that no one could remember death after they had been revived. He was never a man of faith but something odd struck him. While he was lying there, dead, on the shack floor he saw a light. It was brighter than he was used to and it seemed pure. It was as though nothing on earth could be as beautiful. Then there was a figure in the light with a hand out stretched but before he could take it he suddenly was back in the shack with the face of Tobias staring down at him.

When he told Renee this story while they sat on the kitchen floor holding each other, she looked stunned. He knew that Renee believed in God even though she had difficulty stepping foot in a church. He thought that perhaps she would have the answer. She didn't. It disappointed him but he could understand the fact that she didn't know. He didn't know if anyone really good know the answer he was looking for.

That made any chance of recovery that much harder.

**A/N: Hey everyone. I just want to apologize for the long wait in-between updates. My father passed away and my thoughts haven't really been with this story but in other places instead. Anyway, I hope that the next update will be done fast but I can't really promise anything. I am still not really myself and writing is more draining than it was before. Frankly everything is more draining. **


	16. Chapter 16

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Sixteen: Bottle it up

Reid tried has hard as he could but quitting was easier said than done. He would get close but the withdrawals would be unbearable. Not only would he be violently ill but he wasn't exactly pleasant to be around. He would get mean and have a temper that he didn't have before. He tried because he knew that it meant the world to Renee however he would slip up and when he did, he would vowed that it would be the last time. Yet, he knew that even though he said it would be the last time, he knew deep down in his heart that he would break that promise.

Renee knew when he did give in. He would be less cranky and more pleasing. He wouldn't look as sickly and pale but he wouldn't look exactly well. Renee wouldn't say anything because she knew that she couldn't blame him. Not after watching the video and knowing what he went through. If that had been her, she would be on drugs to. She didn't condone it and wished she knew a way to get him to stop but that was easier said than done. She really was at a loss. All she felt that she could do was hold his hair back as he vomited while going through his withdrawals.

Renee also felt guilty when she would do something. She understood why he did it but she knew that he needed to stop. It wasn't healthy and she knew that. When she would ask him to stop or hint at the fact that he slipped up again, Reid would get this crazy depressed look on his face. She really didn't have to be disappointed in him because she knew that he was disappointed in himself enough for the both of them.

She hated to say anything, in fear of getting him angry when he was going through the withdrawals and then triggering the sadness and depression when he was on the drug. It was a double edge sword and she really didn't know what end was sharper. Logically she knew that she needed to get him to stop because she knew that it was a dark path he was going down. It was like watching her father all over again.

Renee knew that he only ever really gave in when the memories and nightmares got too bad. At first she thought that he was only dreaming about what happened in the shack but when he started talking about his mother, she had her doubts. One evening shortly after his first case back with the BAU she asked him about his nightmares and he did admit that they were about what happened in the shack or about his parents. Renee knew that his parents were a hot topic with him but she could never imagine that they would cause nightmares. Her heart hurt at the thought of that.

There were days, much like today, that Reid was just in a broken temper. He was angry and agitated mainly because he was trying extremely hard to do what was best by Renee. He kept telling himself if he could make it past the sickness and the anger that there might be some type of release at the end. He couldn't help but compare it to his mother and that moment of clarity she got when she first went off her medications.

"Must you leave your shoes everywhere?" Reid snapped, picking up one of Renee's heals that were lounging innocently on one of the leather chairs. Renee pursed her lips together and tried not to snap back. It has been two days since he went off the dilaudid and the previous night had been a rough one. He could barley sleep and when he did eventually dose off, he would wake with the need to vomit into the toilet bowl. Now, the next morning, he was jittery, craving and just plain grumpy.

"Must you leave your sweaters everywhere?" Renee retorted gently as she could. She looked at him and she saw the small smirk that played on his lips. While she knew that it would be a bad day, it was the small moments like those that really showed that her Reid was still in there somewhere; damaged but in there.

"Funny." He stated as he walked over to the counter and sat down. Renee was behind the stove attempting to cook eggs. Her cooking skills had gotten better but where not singing any type of praise. She could cook without burning the eggs but they were not exactly tasteful. Even though he wasn't in the best state, Reid still found her cooking attempts funny. He sat down upon one of the bar stools and Renee scoped two eggs onto his plate.

"Eat all of it." Renee stated like a mother scolding her child. Her stare was pointed and Reid scowled. He looked down at the eggs with contempt. Food wasn't very appealing lately and with Renee cooking, food was even less appealing than before. Yet, he wouldn't say anything directly about how awful her cooking was. He knew she was trying.

"Let's hope I can keep it down." Renee shot Reid a stern look and he bit back another smile. It had only been a few days since he last shot up and while he was okay at the moment, he knew he was in for a long haul.

It was nosey and the noise was causing Reid's headache to increase. The small room where he and Prentiss were they working on the geographical profile was becoming crowded even though it was only the two of them working in there. He didn't mind working with others but he never needed help with the geographical profile before. The fact that Hotch agreed with her when she said she would help really bothered him. What happened to Hotch not trusting Prentiss?

He felt as though he couldn't be trusted with the simplest of jobs. In the back of mind he wondered if that was true. Had he gone so far astray that he needed babysat? He couldn't help ignore that glances Prentiss kept shooting him. Not to mention the numerous conversation starters she threw at him and that he shot down. He wished that he was assigned with someone else. Normally it was JJ with him, they were the ones who worked at the station and if they interviewed victims or family members, they went together. However, they hadn't worked together since the case in Georgia but Reid couldn't dwell on that. Prentiss was always with Morgan, just like Elle was.

Yet, he knew that if he removed himself from the situation and it was someone else who was doing what he was doing, Reid wouldn't trust that person either. Granted, he didn't trust himself at all. He knew that he was hurting all those close to him but he could only focus on his own pain. He was frustrated. He kept trying to come with a situation where everyone wins; a life where Renee was happy with him, where he could keep his job and still be able to relieve himself, yet he knew that it wasn't possible. He knew that he had to give up one of those things.

Renee happiness wasn't something that he was willing to give up. He tried living without the drug but he found that was physically painful not to mention having to deal with the memories of Georgia. That and he was a better person to be around on the drugs. Now he needed to decide if he could live without his job. He looked down at Prentiss and while he wasn't her biggest fan at the moment, he knew that saying goodbye would be painful. He looked out the door and saw JJ talking with Hotch. Would he be able to leave JJ? He knew she would try and continue their friendship but it would eventually fade. He knew that moment he left he would never see Hotch again. Morgan would try but he was too angry with Reid and Reid didn't know if that anger would last forever or not. Garcia would be brokenhearted but he honestly couldn't see himself keeping in touch with her without the rest of the team. Gideon….well he didn't want to think about that. He knew that Gideon was disappointed in him.

Frankly he was disappointed in himself. He never imagined he would fall this far. He knew the risks of doing this job but he never thought it would really happen. Reid always assumed that his life would be straight as an arrow, or at least as straight as living the life of a profiler would allow him to be. He expected perfection because that is what his mother expected. However, if he would break that down into a profile he knew that he wouldn't like what he would find. In fact, he was certain that he would dread it. No one wants to admit to their own faults, even Reid.

"Reid." Prentiss called but he didn't respond. It wasn't because he was ignoring her but he was simply just lost in his thoughts; although, if he would have heard her, the chance of him ignoring her was very high. Prentiss sighed and closed her eyes before calling his name again. He didn't respond the second time either, all she wanted to do was open the window and wanted to know if that would bother him. She was trying to be nice. She honestly didn't know what she had done wrong to cause his ire against her, but she was getting tired of it. She would keep her temper; she knew she would because she perfected that perfectly after living with her mother for years. However, she did not understand why everyone was treating Reid with kid gloves. If he was a member of her team back during her Interpol days, he would have been off the team fairly quickly.

Prentiss got up from her seat and opened the window. She was hot and the thought of letting in the cold breeze was needed. The noise of the construction was in full force yet Reid didn't really seem to notice. Prentiss watched him for a moment and realized that he hadn't been ignoring her but lost in his own thoughts. She felt guilty for her thoughts she had before. She knew he was struggling but was at a loss at what to do. She walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. He jumped and turned.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Prentiss stated. She looked at him and she couldn't help but notice how hollow he looked. He didn't look well. It was as if the skin was simply sticking to his bones and his eyes were wider than normal. They weren't glassy, which Prentiss thought was a relief. He was doing drugs while on the job. That was responsible at least. "I am going to get something to drink, would you like anything? Coffee perhaps?"

"No."

"Dr. Reid, you never turn coffee down." Prentiss joked but it was lost on him. Reid was not in the mood for jokes.

"I just don't want anything." He snapped at her before turning back to the map and back to ignoring her. Prentiss felt as though she had been slapped in the face. She once again felt like a small fifteen year old girl back in Italy. She didn't like that feeling.

"Right. Sorry." With that she turned and stormed out of the small room. It took everything she had not to slam the door behind her because she knew that it would drawl unwanted attention from the local police officers. She marched over to the coffee pot and poured herself some coffee. Prentiss briefly thought about getting him a cup anyway just to be spiteful.

"What's wrong?" JJ's voice floated behind her. The older woman turned to look at the blonde. She looked around and noticed that she did catch the attention of some unwanted looks but those people suddenly were to bushing shuffling papers to pay the two agents any mind. Or, at least they made it seem that way. JJ had a look on concern on her face and it always amazed Prentiss how this woman could be so motherly and caring and yet so cold at the same time.

"Reid. I honestly do not know what I did to him to make him treat me as though I am nothing more the than an offended pile of dog crap." Prentiss stated and slammed the coffee pot back into the maker causing the coffee to spill over onto the table top.

"You didn't do anything." JJ stated in hopes that it would bring some type of comfort to her new friend. She knew better than anyone that Reid was suffering. She didn't know what to do and she knew that the entire team was at the same loss. This man who they had been working with was not the Reid they knew. He was a stranger. "He is just going through a hard time. That is all."

"I've been through hard times but I have never treated people they way he is treating me!" Prentiss stated louder than she wanted to. She knew that JJ didn't deserve her ire but it was like a chain reaction and Reid set it into motion.

"You've never been through what he has been through. None of us have." JJ lowered her voice and stepped closer to Prentiss before speaking again. "We watched him being tortured. No one comes out of the same as they were before." It amazed Prentiss how JJ could remove herself from the situation like this. Everyone knew that the events of Georgia had affected her too. She was now terrified of any passing dog and never split from the team on cases. She never let anyone go anywhere alone. Yet, here she was explaining it all to Prentiss has if she wasn't there; like she was an outside observer looking in and making notes. It amazed Prentiss how JJ could bottle up her emotions and push them aside. Prentiss was good at many things; she was good at lying, hiding secrets, manipulation, and deceit but bottling up her emotions like that was not one of them. They all had negative qualities; JJ bottled up her emotions and pushed away from everyone while Prentiss had one too many skeletons in her closet that needed to be kept hidden. "He just needs time to recover."

"You're right. He needs to recover but are any of us willing to help him? He is going at this alone!"

"He has Renee." JJ defended, slightly wounded at Prentiss's accusation. Deep down she knew that the other agent was right. None of them really stepped outside of themselves to take care of the youngest member of their team.

"Renee is one person. Do you honestly think she can help him by herself?" With that Prentiss left her now cold coffee sitting on the table and walked right back into that room where she was working with Reid. It didn't matter to her how lost he was or how cruel he would be to her, she vowed that he would not become another Matthew; she wouldn't let him go down that path. She wouldn't be able to bear it if he did.

Reid slammed the door to the loft in frustration. Prentiss decided that the best course of action was to stick by his side the entire time. He threw as many insults to her as he could but she was persistent to stay beside him. He didn't understand what her problem was or why she decided to make him her sidekick instead of Morgan but it unnerved him. He blew out a frustrated breath and sat his bag down.

He looked around the apartment and groaned. While it wasn't messy there were several shoes lying around. Never before had her habit with her shoes bothered him because he knew that he was the same way with his sweaters. He just left them laying around the same way Renee left her shoes. However, today it bothered him to no end.

He picked up a pair of red heals and chucked them. Renee, who was distracted by her laptop at the counter jumped and nearly fell out of the chair. She stared at Reid with wide eyes. There was something wrong with him. She was scared because Reid had never looked this way before. He had gotten angry so easily when he was going through withdrawals but this was different. She had only seen this type of anger from one other person and she didn't like the feeling she got from it. Renee slipped off the bar stool and walked slowly toward her boyfriend. She placed on foot in front of the other. Her left hand was outstretched in a calming motion.

"Spencer, what is wrong?" She looked calm but Reid could hear the hint of fear in her voice. Deep down he was ashamed to be the one who put it there but he was just too angry.

"Why can't you learn to put your fucking shoes away?" He shouted and Renee stood there shocked. Out of everything she expected him to be angry about; her shoes were the last thing she would have guessed. She knew that it wasn't him talking. She was proud of him for not giving in but his anger scared her.

"Spencer, I will put them away if it makes you feel better." She reasoned. She hoped that by complying with him he might calm down but she knew that it wouldn't make his anger disappear.

"That's not the point! You need to learn to put them away when you take them off!" He yelled again. He wasn't really angry about the shoes but he needed some type of outlet to get the anger out. He didn't want to take it out on Renee but if he did take it out on Prentiss like he had wished to, there could be a chance that he would be out of a job. Reid wasn't a fool and he knew that he was skating on thin ice with his employment. The ice was so thin he wasn't sure if Gideon would even be able to dig him out of this one. Granted, he wasn't so sure he wanted his job any more but he still didn't want to get fired. If he left he would like it to be on his terms.

"You are one to talk Spencer! You leave your sweater everywhere and there has been more than one occasion where I have picked up your numerous coffee cups with sugar built up on the bottom. I swear, if it wasn't for me, you would have just let them sit there till they grow mold in the bottom of them!" Renee shouted back. While she knew it wasn't wise, she was tired of being the one who he took his anger out on. She didn't deserve that.

"You've never complained before!" Reid stated and Renee made a noise that was a mix between a shriek and a snort. Frankly, she sounded like an angry cat. Her eyes narrowed and her fist balled. They both were breathing fast and they both knew that they were at their boiling point. They could only bottle so much up before it began to over flow.

"Neither have you!"

"Well I am now!" He shouted back to her. "My sweaters and cups won't make me trip and break my neck!"

"No but I just might gag from the smell of rotten sugar!" Renee shifted all of her weight to one foot and crossed her arms. She leaned forward as she shouted but back away slowly. She could see Reid's shoulders shaking from anger.

"Fine you want my cups washed; do it yourself!" He picked up one of the cups that had been sitting on the coffee table and threw it at her. Renee ducked, dived to the floor and heard the glass hit the wall. She looked to where it hit and saw white glass shattered on the floor while surrounded by old coffee and sugar.

They both froze; looking at the glass. Neither moved nor looked at each other. Renee was terrified. The last time a man threw something at her like glass was her father. For a brief second she envisioned herself back at her old apartment being beaten by her father. This man wasn't the man she loved. She lived in fear when her father was on the loose and she refused to be terrified of living in her own home. Renee wasn't too far from the stairs. She launched herself upward and ran up the stairs.

Reid knew he fucked up and that this wasn't going to be smoothed out easily. He only hoped that he could repair the damage that he had done. All the anger that he felt melted away and was replaced with despair. He hurt the one person he vowed to never hurt and he did it in the worst way possible. He took a deep breath and walked slowly up the stairs.

Renee was at the bed packing. One of his extra go bags that he stored under the bed was lying open. Renee was pulling clothes from the closet and the dresser and throwing them into the bag. She wasn't even folding them. Reid wasn't sure if she knew what she was grabbing. His heart broke to see what she was doing. He didn't want her to leave because if she did there was a chance she might not come back. The last thing he could handle was to lose her.

"Renee please.." Renee held up her finger and he was silenced right away. She only did that when she was beyond angry.

"Don't." He followed her rules and stayed silent. He just watched her pack. When she got to the point that she was throwing her under garments into the bag he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"What are you going?"

"Gran's." He nodded but didn't say anymore. She paused looking down at her bag. She breathed in deeply and gripped the bag. She didn't look at him but he braced himself for the worst. This could be it. This could be the final moments of their relationship and the sad thing is, he couldn't blame her if it was. "When you figure your shit out, come and find me and we will talk. Not a moment before. I don't deserve this Spencer. I am better than this."

With that Renee walked toward the stairs and began to walk down them. Reid grabbed her arm gently hoping to stop her from going. It wasn't forceful or angry but soft and fearful. It was as thought he was afraid to touch her. Renee yanked her arm away from him.

"Renee-"

"Don't! You don't get to apologize." With that she ran down the stairs and toward the door. She picked up a pair of the offending shoes that were by the door that she had kicked off on her way home from work and put them on. She grabbed her keys out of the small dish by the door and opened it. She paused when she heard Reid's small voice by the door.

"Please, don't go." He asked. She didn't turn back because she knew if she did, she would just drop the bag and sink into his arms. She couldn't do that. Instead, she closed her eyes and listened to him breathing and then walked out the door, closing it gently behind her. She heard the most painstakingly sound from behind the door. Reid sank to the ground and let out a wail that sounded like a wounded animal.

**A/N: None of you have any idea how hard the last scene was for me to write. I almost made Renee turn back and into Reid's arms. Anyway, I hope to have the next chapter out soon. **

**I am still grieving and I hope that it isn't affecting my writing too much. If the chapter is crap, I will chuck it up to that but please let me know.**


	17. Chapter 17

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Seventeen: Jack Daniels

Reid was never a fan of New Orleans. He only ever came here when there was a case involved. The first and only time that Reid went down there on his own was when Ethan first moved down south. It was shortly after graduating from the academy and before Reid joined the BAU; a small two week window if that. He didn't understand Ethan's need to live there and open a Jazz Bar but he assumed a woman was involved. He didn't ask too many questions and Ethan didn't offer any answers. He had assumed that his friend would move back to D.C once the relationship (if there was one) had fizzled out, because Ethan was not an expert on relationships. Yet, his friend never moved back.

Their friendship became long distant and not what it was when they were young men just graduating college. They spoke occasionally but their friendship wasn't what it used to be. Ethan was the only person that Reid told about his relationship with his professor while it was going on. Ethan knew everything about Reid, even his fears of schizophrenia, a secret he always kept to his chest. Now that he was in New Orleans for a case, he couldn't pass up the chance to visit an old friend. Knowing Ethan's habit for alcohol and with the life style he lived, drugs wouldn't be too far of an assumption. He knew Ethan wasn't an addict but he did like his drink however he hoped that Ethan could help him.

Reid looked at Gideon who was watching his friend's performance on the piano. He knew that it would be Gideon who would come looking for him. The rest of the team was too angry with him. Frankly he couldn't blame them. He would be angry too if he could. Yet, he couldn't regret the decision he made about missing that plane. He needed that. He needed to know what it would be like to be away from this job. He learned that he loved his job more than he realized. He couldn't give that up. He knew that he needed to fix it and from what Gideon told him, it was possible. Not all of the hope was lost.

Now, Renee was a different matter. The past week without her was hell. She wouldn't answer his phone calls or text messages. He didn't have the courage to go to her Gran's home to speak with her and he knew that he was in no position to be anywhere near an elementary school. He was only hoping that he could get off the drugs that she would take him back. He hoped that she would be there to help him but he knew that he was in no position to ask that of her. He had been far too selfish to hope that she would even consider helping him.

Gideon patted his knee and got up. He shot him one last look that told Reid to take his time and that Hotch was more than willing to give him the time off that he needed. Reid was thankful for that. He smiled and watched Gideon walk out of the bar. Ethan was finishing up his performance and there was a polite applause at the end. Ethan left the piano and took a seat beside Reid. He poured himself a generous helping of Jack Daniels. He leaned back in the soft yet still firm chair.

"So tell me about her." Ethan stated and peered at Reid over his glass. Reid flushed and looked down at his own glass. He knew he would still be sipping at it by the time Ethan would reach his third glass. Having gone to college with him, he knew Ethan's drinking habits fairly well. That and Reid wasn't much at a drinker.

"What do you mean?" He asked without looking at him. Ethan could read him like a book more so than his team. Reid couldn't lie to him and bringing up Renee was one of the last things he wanted to do. Renee was touchy and every time her name was mentioned or if he even thought of her, he felt as though his heart was being ripped out of his chest. It was hard to breathe without her let alone to survive. Even though he knew now that he loved his job, if she didn't come back he felt as though he had no reason to quite.

"Spencer, I've known you for years. I know when a girl is involved. I was around for Dr. Ava Hodges and that bumpy relationship. Not to mention I haven't even questioned you on Lila Archer." He paused and laughed at Reid's wide eyes. "Yes, I saw that tabloid and I knew it was you but that is beside the point. I want to know about the woman who is on your mind."

"Her name is Renee, she is a kindergarten teacher and I met her when one of her students went missing." As he said this it was as though the memory of the day they met was flashing before his eyes. He closed them and for a brief moment he allowed himself to revel in the memory of her. He wanted her back so desperately that it hurt.

"Is it serious?"

"I want to marry her." Ethan's eyes went wide. He wasn't expecting that answer. Perhaps it was because he was nowhere near thinking of marriage. That and he hadn't found anyone who was worth settling down with let alone letting one stay in his bed longer than one night.

"That is serious." However he saw Reid's down casted eyes and he knew something wasn't right. "What is it?"

"She left me."

"I see. Why?" Reid didn't answer but moved his hand to his arm. Ethan saw his movements and nodded. "Ah, because of your little habit." Reid again didn't say anything but that only confirmed what Ethan suspected. "You can get her back."

"Oh really? How?" His tone was sarcastic and he really didn't believe what his friend was saying. Despite how painful it was to think about, he just didn't see how he could win back Renee's trust. He really messed up and he knew that.

"Get sober. See easy as that." Ethan stated. He snapped his fingers and Reid laughed slightly. He shot his friend a look of disbelief.

"If quitting was so easy then I don't think I would be in this mess in the first place." Reid stated and Ethan studied him. He shifted his body weight so he was facing him directly. Reid shifted but it wasn't to gain any type of advantage, he was uncomfortable. He wasn't used to people look at him that close up.

"You're right. Quitting isn't easy at all. Trust me, I've seen my fair share of detox around here. I've helped several people through it." Ethan paused and looked at his friend. A few things where flying through his head. "You know, one of the perks of being the boss is that I get unlimited vacation time. I wouldn't mind coming up to help you."

"I couldn't ask that of you."

"You didn't. I offered." When Reid didn't respond, Ethan knew that he was coming up. He smiled lightly and patted Reid on the knee. "Think about it."

The last time Renee stepped foot inside of a church was for her mother's funeral. Since then she never wanted to look at a church yet enter one. However, in light of certain circumstances Renee found herself standing in front of the church that she spent every Sunday of her childhood in. It was a big church with Gothic architecture. The front had wooden doors with black iron slats for the door's support. In front of the doors was a wide stairway that led up to the doors. The iron railing matched the slats in the door.

Renee remembered holding her mother's and Gran's hand as she walked up those stairs. She was always fascinated with the beauty the church held. Even now, when she was reluctant to enter the church, she couldn't deny the beauty. It still took her breath away. So, just like she did when she was a small child, she walked up the stone steps and to the giant wooden door. She placed her hand on the handles and pushed. The door opened without protest.

The sanctuary was just as beautiful. Just about everything, the confessional, the podium and the pews were all made of wood. There were several archways that lined the ceiling. Renee slowly walked up toward the front. She looked around and saw a few people in the sanctuary. It wasn't odd for there to be people at the church late on a weekday but it was never crowded.

Renee sat down in a pew and leaned forward. She put her hands together and prayed. She prayed for the first time in several years. She prayed for her relationship with Reid, his drug habit and anything else she could think of. She asked for forgiveness for taking so long to come back and hoped that everything would fall back into place. She missed Reid with every fiber of her being but she knew that he needed to change before she went back to him. If she just went back to him freely, he would just continue on this downward spiral.

She felt someone's hand on her shoulder and Renee jumped. Behind her was Father Lawrence. He had sandy brown hair that was sprinkled with grey and light green eyes. Father Lawrence was an old friend of her grandmothers. When Renee stopped coming to church, every Sunday he would find his way to their home and he taught her to play chess. Granted these chess lessons always had more meaning to them each week. He tried as hard as he could to teach her the ways of the church without her attending an actual service. However, once she went to college those lessons stopped; she became too busy.

"It's been a long time." Father Lawrence stated as he sat down beside Renee. He watched her as she bit he lip. He was surprised to see her here. This was the last place he expected to find her. He had tried for several years to get her back into the church and he eventually thought it would never happen, but here she sat. If what her grandmother told him, it most likely had something to do with the man she was seeing.

"You saw me at dinner on Friday." She stated still looking ahead. Father Lawrence laughed lightly.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it." He replied.

"Shouldn't you be in the confessional?" She snapped at him which only caused Father Lawrence to laugh harder. He is a joyful man who loves life. He raised his eyebrow at her but she didn't crack a smile. He knew that before he would be able to get down to the point of why she was here, he was going to get that smile out of her first.

"It's been empty all day. I guess no one has sinned today." With that Renee laughed out loud. She threw him a look of complete disbelief. While Father Lawrence believed that everyone has something good inside of them but even he knew that sin was a daily occurrence. He knew that it was unavoidable but he also believed in redemption and that all could be forgiven. "Okay, maybe no one felt the need to be forgiven today."

"I suppose so." With that Father Lawrence stood and held out his hand.

"Come, take a walk with me in the garden." Renee hesitated but took his hand. They linked their arms and walked slowly out of the church and into the back. Behind the church was a small garden. It wasn't much but Father Lawrence was very proud of it. He enjoyed the weeding and the planting along with the end result. It reminded him, in the darkest of times, that there was still beauty in the world. "Lillian said you're back at home." Renee laughed a little. It didn't surprise her that Gran was talking about her to him. Gran told him just about everything. She would bet any money that Father Lawrence knew who her grandfather was but she also knew he would never tell her.

"It's only temporary." She hoped.

"Lillian said that it had something to do with the man you were seeing." When Renee didn't respond he continued on. "She said that the two of you fought and you left. She didn't give any type of specifics."

"I didn't tell her." With that Father Lawrence stopped and turned to face her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave them a light squeeze. He looked at her directly in the eye and she knew that whatever was coming was serious.

"Child, you can tell me anything and whatever you say will not leave these ears. Everything is completely confidential." With that, everything came flooding out along with tears streaming down her face. She told him about the case in Georgia, Reid being tortured, the drugs and the final breaking point. During the entire speech, Father Lawrence remind silent and impassive.

"He is a very good man and I love him dearly but I don't know what to do. I need to protect myself. I won't end up the way I was with my father." Renee's watery voice stated and he sighed.

"I believe that he is a good man. He would have to be to do the job that he does but he is knocked off his path at the moment. I have seen stronger men knocked off theirs because of a lot less. Getting back onto it is always the hard part and it is nearly impossible to do it alone. The demons that he is fighting are strong and could win if he doesn't have help."

"Are you saying that I should forgive him?" With that, he gave the crooked smile that Renee loved so much. It wasn't rare and he always wore it whenever she saw him. It was that type of smile that could fill the coldest person with warmth.

"My dear child, forgiveness is the key to everything."

Reid wasn't sure how he should be but he was nervous. He had been to this house many times yet never before was he this terrified. He wasn't good with rejection and he knew that it was possible. This was scarier than meeting Renee's grandmother for the first time. He loved her and he knew that this could be the last time he saw her. She still had things at their apartment but she could very well clean that out while he was on a case. It didn't matter if she decided he was worth it or not today because he was going to get clean, one way or another. His decision was final. Perhaps later down the road when he is healthy again he could win her back.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It didn't take long for it to be answered. Gran looked him up and down and pursed her lips. She stepped aside to let Reid in. That was progress. She closed the door behind him and looked him square in the eye. She shifted all of her weight onto one leg and placed her hands on her hips.

"I don't know what is going on but you fix this and fix it now! She is in her room." With that Gran turned on her heals and walked off toward the kitchen. He looked up to see Hannah leaning against the archway. She had gotten taller since the last time he saw her. He knew that she would be taller than her sister. Hannah waved at him and shot him a small smile before walking in the same direction as her grandmother. At least she was on his side. Reid slowly climbed the stairs and went to Renee's childhood bedroom. He paused at the door before going inside.

On her bed Renee was lying with Nora. Renee's head on her best friends shoulder and Nora was running her hands through the pale blond curls. Renee didn't look up but Nora did. Her dark eyes narrowed at him and it wasn't long before she shot out of the bed. She walked up to him and punched him in the jaw.

"You asshole!" Nora punched him again but it wasn't as hard. She continued to slap him in different places, mainly in his chest while cursing him in several different names. It wasn't until Renee rose from the bed and took Nora's hand, preventing her from hitting him again.

"You know you can go to prison for assaulting a federal agent?" Renee said looking at her friend. She didn't even glance at Reid but kept her focus on Nora. He didn't really know how to react to that. He knew Renee and he could assume that she thought that if she looked at him then she would cave. Reid couldn't lie and hope that she would fall back into his arms but he knew better. It would be so much harder than that.

"Then arrest me!" Nora yelled. Reid put his hands up in self-defense and smiled lightly.

"I'm off duty." He shot another look at Renee. "And I deserved it." He saw Renee loosen her grip and smile lightly. That smile gave him hope. Renee stood up on her tip-toes and whispered in Nora's ear. Nora shot Reid a loathing look and walked toward the door but paused after she opened it. She turned to him and pointed her finger.

"One wrong move and you will have to get your entire team to arrest me because you will be in no shape to do it yourself." With that Nora walked out the door and all but slammed it behind her. Reid looked at Renee but she was still avoiding his gaze. She walked to her bed and sat down. Reid followed and sat beside her. Neither spoke at first but let the silence fall over them.

"I've seen Nora hit some of her ex-boyfriends. You will bruise." Reid smiled and touched his jaw. It hurt and he was sure that it would get worse has time went on. However, Renee still didn't look at him and he couldn't blame her.

"I wouldn't doubt it." He paused and gathered his bearings. "We had a case in New Orleans. A woman was killing men like Jack the Ripper killed those prostitutes in London." Renee got a grossed out look on her face every time he would tell her about a case. It only made him miss her more. "Anyway, do you remember my friend who lives down there?"

"Ethan? The one who owns the Jazz bar?"

"Yes. See he has some time off and he is coming up here for a while." He paused but Renee didn't say anything. "You see Ethan has other friends that have had substance problems and he has gotten those friends clean."He noticed how still she got and he knew she was listening. "See I would go into rehab but-"

"You could lose your job." Renee cut him off. "I get it."

"This is the next best thing." He paused and he could see her relief. "I have no right to even think or ask but-"

"You want me to come back." It wasn't a question. She still didn't look at him but was focusing on the picture that was hanging on her wall. It was of her and Hannah only the younger sister was a lot younger. It looked as though it was taken when Hannah was about three.

"Yes. I do." He stated. "I love you." With that Renee got up from the bed and walked over to her dresser. There she picked up an old picture of her mother. She looked at the photo and sighed. Renee sat the picture down and looked at Reid straight in the eyes. Her face was cold but he could see that softer side in her eyes.

"Let's say for a second that I don't come back. What happens then?"

"Ethan comes up anyway and helps me get clean. See, there are three things that I love in this world; my mother, my job and you. My mother's mind is all but lost and by the looks of things I have already lost you. If I lost my job I would have nothing left." Reid stood and looked at her. "Hotch gave me two weeks off to get my stuff together but the next time I am on a case I'll text you. You can get your things without me being there."

He felt as though he was kicked in the ribs. He truly had hoped that he would be able to get Renee back today. He knew that he would continue trying to win back her affection. He would get clean and sober then he would contact her again. Perhaps he would ask to go to lunch or dinner. Or maybe he will tell her he found something of her's in the apartment. It didn't matter how, but he would make contact. He headed toward the door.

"Spencer wait!" He stopped and looked at her. She sighed and closed her eyes. "You know how frustrating it is to love you right now! I know I should hate you but I can't. I even went to church to figure things out and you know what Father Lawrence told me, to forgive you. But the thing is, I already have." She walked to him and brought his hands into hers. "I will come home. I will help you get sober. I don't have the time off so it will be good that Ethan's there."

Reid couldn't wait any longer and brought her into his arms. He didn't kiss her and simply held her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder and inhaled his sent. Reid kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. She pushed away from his lightly and looked at his eyes. She held out her pointer finger and touched his nose.

"There will be rules. One, don't you ever do that to me again or I am gone for good. Two, if you relapse I'm gone for good. Three, clean out your damn coffee mugs and four, don't touch my shoes." He laughed and kissed the top of her head again.

"Agreed."

**A/N: Hello all. Not much to say here other than I have thought about this chapter since the conception of **_**An Innocent Mind**_**. Yeah, I planned that far ahead. Anyway, review!**


	18. Chapter 18

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Eighteen: Making Amends

Agent Morgan was livid. He just didn't understand how one agent can pull a stunt like missing a plane taking them somewhere that could eventually solve a case and then less than a few days later, get approved for vacation time. Frankly if he was still with Chicago PD that officer would be suspended. He got that Reid was a genius and his skills were irreplaceable but that didn't give him the right to slack off. Granted he knew that the kid was having some issues but he still shouldn't have gotten that vacation time after how he treated his team, especially Prentiss.

Morgan picked up his sludge hammer and hit the dry wall. He was flipping another house and part of that was knocking out this wall that separated two very small bedrooms. He was going to take out that wall and create a larger room, making the home a two bedroom instead of three. Driving that sludge hammer into the wall was a great stress reliever. He could take his anger out in a physical manner but not cause anyone any type of harm. Although he wouldn't lie and say that he hadn't imagined that the wall he was smashing was Reid's head.

He continued smashing until his muscles couldn't handle it anymore. He dropped the hammer and grabbed his water bottle. He chugged it as he felt his phone vibrate. It was Prentiss. He answered it and sighed as he listened to Prentiss talk. She wasn't one to open up easily but the whole team could see that she had gone out of her way to help Reid. Yet, he had done nothing but be rude to her because she was new and an easy target. The only person who she really talked to on the team was Morgan but even he could tell that she hid things and that she wasn't entirely honest but she seemed like a good person.

Her phone call made Morgan even angrier than he was before. Prentiss had called Reid in hopes that he would allow her to come to his apartment for her to help him. However, he didn't even answer his phone and that infuriated Morgan. He basically was refusing help and in doing so he was dragging the entire team down with him. While he loved the kid, he knew that he should have been fired or at least investigated but no, Hotch and Gideon covered everything up. He knew that he was Gideon's prodigy but that didn't give him the right to simply do whatever he pleased.

After hanging up the phone Morgan grabbed his things, locked up and threw his tools in the back of his car. He then drove into the city and toward Reid's apartment. He didn't know what he would find but he had a gut feeling that it wouldn't be pleasant. He parked in the parking lot and slammed his car door. He entered the building, passed the doorman. The doorman tried to stop him but he flashed his FBI badge at him. Morgan wasn't one to abuse his privilege unless it came to young female trainee agents looking for a warm bed for the night. However, for a cause like this, he was willing to make an exception.

He ran up the stairs toward the floor where Reid's apartment was located. He passed some of Reid's neighbors on the way. He bumped into some of them but didn't really care that he was being rude. He was in far too much of a hurry to be bothered with apologies. When Morgan reached the floor, he walked slowly toward Reid's door and stopped in front of it. He listened inside and he could hear a women talking in the apartment. He assumed that it was Renee. Suddenly a hot flash of anger was aimed toward her. She just let this go on and didn't stop it. Before he knew it he was pounding on the door and it wasn't long before the door opened. Renee was standing there in a pair of worn yoga pants, a tank top and a grey cardigan that was slightly too big for her.

"Agent Morgan now is not a very good time." Renee stated her voice was low as though she was hiding something inside of the apartment. The door was hardly open and Morgan couldn't see anything inside. He looked at her with narrowed eyes.

"I need to speak to Reid." With that he pushed the door open and brushed passed her. She attempted to grab his arm but he shook her off. He yelled Reid's name but paused when he saw a man in the living room he didn't recognize. He was about the same height as Reid but his hair was darker. His shoulders were wide and his hair was long along with his face being covered with facial hair.

"Agent Morgan you need to leave." Renee's voice sounded from behind him. It was strong and he could tell that it was highly pissed off. Normally he would treat any women with respect however any respect he may have had for Renee plummeted. He turned and pointed at the man in the living room.

"Are you cheating on Reid!" Morgan yelled.

"What? No, Ethan is a friend of Spencer's!" She stated. "Look, you really need to leave."

"I'm not leaving until I get some-"

"Renee." A small voice stated from above. They all turned to see Reid standing by the railing of the loft. Morgan was shocked at how pale he was. He looked sickly before but this was something different. Something just wasn't right. He was shaking and his arms were wrapped himself. His nails were digging into his arm. Then Reid got a look upon his face that made it seem as though he was going to be sick. Then he was gone. Morgan could hear his footsteps running toward the bathroom. Renee was flying up the stairs and Morgan followed her. When he got to the bathroom, he saw something he wished he could erase from his memory.

Reid was hunched over the toilet bowl and all of the contents on his stomach were going into the bowl. Renee was holding his bangs out of his face and whispering sweet words into his ear. She held his shaking body against her's. When he was done emptying his stomach he slumped against Renee. Morgan didn't know how she could support his weight seeing how small she was but she did it. However, they slowly sank down to the floor and leaned against the bathtub.

Ethan came up behind Morgan and squeezed behind him. In one hand he had a towel and in the other was a glass of water. He went over to the young couple and wiped Reid's brow before giving Renee the glass of water. She brought the glass to his lips and tilted his head backward forcing the water into his mouth since Reid was protesting. Renee was whispering words to him that Morgan could not hear what was being said. However, watching the body language it seemed as though she was being comforting.

When all the water had been drunk, Renee sat the glass down on the ledge of the bathtub and Ethan reached down and helped Renee bring Reid to his feet. Ethan put one of Reid's arms around his shoulder and helped him walk to the bed. Morgan moved out of the doorway to allow them to pass. He caught Renee's eye as she passed. She was far from pleased with him and suddenly, Morgan felt like an ass.

Ethan put Reid down onto the bed and Renee walked over to pull the covers around him. Reid curled into a ball and got the shakes. Morgan could tell that Reid was most likely at the worst point of his withdrawal. Ethan went down the stairs and Morgan followed seeing that Renee wanted to be alone with Reid. It wasn't until five minutes later that Renee herself descended the stairs. Her eyes were on Morgan the entire time she walked down the stairs. Ethan went into the kitchen and started by the sounds of it, cooking. Morgan could tell that it was just something to do while an uncomfortable conversation happened in the living room. Renee stopped in front of Morgan and took a deep breath.

"The last thing Spencer needs right now is for someone to yell at him for how badly he fucked things up. He knows how bad he screwed up and he is trying to fix it but as you can tell, he is going through hell. I am trying to help him and the guy in the kitchen who you accused me of cheating on Spencer with has been Spencer's friend since college and has come to help him. Now, that leaves you with two options, if you want to help Spencer, fine, you can stay but don't you dare upset him. He can't handle that right now. However, if your soul purpose is to accuse him of something and to scream and yell at him, then you can get the fuck out of my house." With that Renee turned on her heels and went up the stairs. Morgan, who was standing there in shock, looked toward Ethan who shrugged.

"I claim the couch." Ethan stated before turning back into the kitchen, leaving Morgan there to collect his thoughts.

Morgan stayed as Renee knew he would. He slept rather uncomfortably on Reid's and Renee's living room floor. He couldn't help but roll onto some book or something else but in Reid's apartment, he couldn't expect anything else. The morning of the third night Morgan stayed the night, he awoke to Ethan's snoring, something that has happened frequently as of late. He sat up and stretched. He reached for his phone and noticed that it was just sort of seven in the morning. He groaned. It was a day that he didn't have to be at the bullpen and he didn't feel the need to be awake. However, Morgan pulled himself up from the floor and went to the kitchen. He froze. Reid was at the stove cooking.

The few days that he had been there, Reid had been practically ill the entire time. He would get up from bed at Renee's request to eat something or shower but always ended up back in bed. Renee said that it was because this was the longest Reid gone without the dilaudid in his system. Since he was going through withdrawal he wasn't exactly stable and conscious. Morgan wasn't exactly sure if Reid even knew whether he was there or not.

Yet, now Reid was in the kitchen doing something such as mundane and ordinary as frying some eggs. If Morgan didn't look closely at him, he would say that this was the old Reid but upon closer inspection, he could tell that his friend was still unwell. He seemed thinner than he was before and there were dark bags underneath his eyes. He was paler than before and there was just something sickly about his appearance.

Reid looked up to see his friend just staring at him. He slightly remembered something about Morgan being there but he wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality. He wasn't exactly awake in the last few days and he didn't exactly know what was real and what wasn't. However, he decided that how Morgan came to his apartment wasn't exactly important, Reid was just touched that he was there. Reid pointed at Morgan and then to the barstool. Morgan nodded and sat down on the stool. Reid pulled out a plate and put some eggs along with some bacon onto it and handed the now full plate to his friend. Morgan took the food happily.

"How are you feeling?" Morgan asked. Reid huffed something between a laugh and a groan. Reid went over to the coffee pot and poured some of the glorious liquid in a cup with cats on it. Morgan was sure that Garcia had gotten it for him. He laughed when Reid poured a handful of sugar into the cup. Some things never change and that gave Morgan hope.

"Like a train ran me over." He sipped at his coffee and he knew that Morgan was still watching him. He knew that he would be under the watch of his team for some time. Reid knew that he deserved that. He needed to earn their trust back the hard way. "I'm okay, I am or I will be."

Morgan sat down his fork and looked at him. They locked eyes and they knew what was to be said. Every since Morgan entered his apartment he knew that the two of them would have to have some type of heart to heart. While Morgan wasn't a man who wore his emotions on his sleeves he couldn't help but feel emotional when it came to Reid. Reid was like the younger brother he never had.

"Look, kid, I'm sorry." Morgan stated and Reid looked at him puzzled from over his coffee cup. He cocked his head to the side like he did when he was trying to figure out a difficult puzzle and Morgan bit back a laugh. He missed when the kid that. He realized how different Reid really had been since Georgia. It was a realization that pained him. They all turned a blind eye while Reid fell so far. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"Kid-"

"No. Stop." Reid took a deep breath and sat his coffee cup down. He looked at Morgan and the senior agent knew that what was going to be said would be difficult for the genius. "I let it get this far. I didn't stop it. I made this mess and now I have to clean it up. I know I don't have the right to ask but I will need the help."

"You didn't ask for this." Morgan said. Suddenly, flashes of Reid being strapped to a chair while the personality of Charles Hankel tortured him. He saw his friend die and then be brought back from the dead.

"Things happen Morgan. You didn't ask for Carl Buford and I didn't ask for Tobias Hankel but we all have our demons." With that, Renee came down the stairs in a pencil skirt and pair of small heels. Her blouse was white and her hair was done up. She paused when she saw Reid in the kitchen. Morgan excused himself and went into the living room. He looked over his shoulder and watched the display of affection in the small kitchen.

"Yeah, kid we all have our demons."

The bullpen was quiet when Reid entered. He wasn't surprised seeing that hardly anyone was there. It was his first day back on the job and he wanted to be there early. He felt that it was the right thing to do seeing how many days he was late while he was under the influence of dilaudid. He didn't expect anyone else to be there except perhaps Gideon or Hotch. However, he was surprised to see both Prentiss and JJ in the break area. Both had cups of coffee in their hands and stopped when he entered. Anderson was sitting at his desk with another one of his team members. Reid believed that her name was Gina.

He had no doubts that they knew that today was his first day back. Morgan spent a good deal of time at the apartment and told them that Reid was a frequent topic among the BAU members. Seeing Reid's wide eyes, Morgan assured his young friend that it was only their team who knew the real reason why Reid was away on vacation. In fact no one really said anything until rumors were going around about Reid and rehab. Gideon and Hotch erased those almost immediately.

Gideon and Hotch spun the story that Reid went back to Nevada to help his mother who was having some health issues. It was no secret that Reid's mother was schizophrenic and while Reid didn't like the subject being mentioned too much, he was grateful for the cover up. He had to admit it was rather clever and it would save his job. He suddenly realized at how appreciative he was for his team. Then guilt filled him on how he treated those members for the mouths that he was using.

Reid could feel JJ's and Prentiss's eyes follow him as he made his way to his desk. He sat his leather messenger bag down and sighed. He jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He spun and saw Gideon standing behind him. The older man's face looked wore and tired. It wasn't a new or unusual look. Gideon had worn that particular expression for years now. Everyone had said that he was getting too old and too tired for this job. Perhaps they were right.

"Welcome back. You were missed." Gideon stated. "I hope that your mother is well?" Anderson passed and while he was a good agent, it was no secret that he was a gossip. Reid smiled lightly and nodded. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that Anderson was at the filing shelves and was well within hearing distance.

"Yes. She is much better." With that answer, he could see some of the tension in Gideon's shoulders slump. He was worried about him. Again Reid felt that guilt in the pit of his stomach. It made him how much hurt he caused.

"Good. It would have been a shame to have lost her. She means a great deal to a great number of people."

"I know she does. I am thankful for the help she received." He voiced and Gideon nodded in agreement. He patted Reid's shoulder which for Gideon was as good as receiving a hug. The contact made Reid's heart sore.

"She was in good hands." Gideon withdrew his hand and put them into his pants pockets. "We are going to San Francisco. The rest of the team should be here soon." With that Gideon walked up the stairs and into his office. Reid sighed. He was on his way toward rebuilding his bridge with Morgan and Gideon and he knew that Hotch would forgive him; Hotch wasn't one for grudges. JJ, while she built walls up around herself, she always forgave those who she cared about. Garcia couldn't be mad at someone for no longer than an hour so he knew she would welcome him back with open arms. The one person he was worried about was Prentiss.

Reid looked over toward the break area and the two of them were still there. The each where holding a file that he assumed was the new case file. He gathered all of his courage that he could muster and walked over to where the ladies stood. When he reached them, JJ gave him a small smile and handed over a file. Prentiss gave him a weary look as if she wasn't sure if he would jump down her throat or not. Granted he couldn't blame her for that.

"It's an arson case. The only survivor, Mrs. Charlotte Cutler, is in critical condition. It doesn't look as though she has much longer." JJ stated. Her tone was sad. It was always harder to look at the victims without emotion when they are alive when the team becomes involved. It sounded cold but the job was easier if the victims were dead when the case got assigned to them. "I have to brief Hotch but I assume we are leaving once Morgan gets here." JJ turned to leave but stopped. She put a hand on Reid's forearm and squeezed. She, just like Gideon, wasn't one for physical contact. "It's good to have you home."

Then Prentiss and Reid were left alone. They were silent for awhile, not looking at each other. Prentiss's focus was on the file but Reid knew she wasn't reading it because her eyes were only focused on one spot on the page. He knew that if he was going to make any type of progress with apologizing, he would have to make the first move.

"Emily-"

"The last time you called me Emily you bit my head off and said I didn't know what I was talking about." With that Prentiss snapped the file shut and looked at Reid with a cold hard stare. "I may not be a genius but I know more than you think. I had a friend who-" She paused when Anderson came to fill his cup and didn't continue until he left "-turned to drugs and I watched him as hit rock bottom. I didn't want that for you. All I wanted to do was help you but you didn't even have the decency to answer your damn phone."

"I deserved that."

"You think?" Prentiss stated sarcastically. She was a master at sarcasm. She had to be after being raised by her mother. Well, more like being raised by the nannies her mother employed. Prentiss really wasn't in the mood to deal with this but she knew she had to. They could go to San Francisco with all this tension. If they did, there was a chance that the case would go unsolved or more people would die, perhaps both. The team needed to be united so she needed to either get over her anger or transfer. She really didn't want to transfer.

"There are steps to apologizing. The first is that you have to determine what went wrong. I guess I could say my habit but I really think that you were an easy target for my anger. Second, is to take full responsibility which I do for both my habit and for making you my target. Third, is choosing when to apologize which I am sure as you can guess, is now or at least I am trying do that is. Fourth, was to write it down but seeing how I am rambling I obviously didn't do that. Fifth is like the first, tell you what went wrong but I really think I already did that. Sixth is to actually apologize." He paused and looked at Prentiss's wide eyes. She was looking at him as though he had three heads. When she didn't respond he continued on. "Next I have to make amends. I snapped at you because you were, like I said, an easy target. You didn't do anything and really didn't deserve my anger. Then I have to ask for forgiveness and wait patiently for you to be able to do that. I then will-" Prentiss slapped her hand over his mouth to get him to stop talking.

"You really suck at conversation." Prentiss stated. It was exhausting to listen to him sometimes but deep down, she knew she missed it. She didn't know him well when she first joined the team but she learned quickly of Reid's quirks and as soon as she learned them, they were gone. She missed them greatly but hearing him go off on a ramble like that gave her hope. There was a chance that Reid could come back and that made her smile.

"I'm sorry?"

"Why couldn't you just say that!" Prentiss stated with a small smile.

**A/N: So I just realized how close we are to the end of this story. I am developing the third part of this story and I have to say I am greatly pleased. I am however excited about the ending of this story. It makes me giddy. Anyway, like always reid and review. **


	19. Chapter 19

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Nineteen: Dead in One Year

It was April and Reid had been clean for nearly a month. It was the longest Reid has ever gone without shooting up. He was proud of that fact but he couldn't help but admit that he still had cravings. Ethan warned him that it would be a long time before he would be able to get back to his self. It was depressing news but at the same time it gave him hope. Hope that he could one day put this all behind him and move on with his life. He could move on and build a life with Renee. He still had hopes of marrying her and still planned to propose. His plans just got pushed back a couple of months.

Renee said she would take Ethan to the airport later that day. Reid wanted to go but he really shouldn't leave work early after closing a case that was so close to home. Especially since he only has been back for a couple of weeks. Ethan stayed in D.C after Reid fully detox because it was easy to slip back into the habit. It wasn't until he was completely sure that Reid was safe from falling back into the habit that he booked a plane ticket back to New Orleans. The original plan was for both Renee and Reid to take Ethan to the airport but things change. Ethan wasn't offended in fact, he made a little joke about that being one of the reasons he quite the academy, he didn't like being at anyone's beck and call.

Reid leaned back in his chair and watched as Prentiss massaged her temples. He had to admit that her mother was an interesting character. He didn't see much of Elizabeth Prentiss because he spent the majority of his time in Baltimore with Gideon and Morgan. However, the little he saw of her he learned a lot of information; information like the fact that she loved her daughter, even though Prentiss would deny that fact until the very end of her days.

She was stressed and he couldn't really blame her, they all were. However, none of them had to deal with their mother while they worked on a case that went horribly wrong. None of them expected the unsub to be the daughter of the missing man. Frankly, it was highly unusual for an unsub to go after their loved ones first. However, Natalya wasn't exactly the usual women. He couldn't imagine how Ambassador Prentiss felt at that moment, now knowing that she comforted the women who had her own father's finger and ear cut off. It made even Reid's stomach churn.

Reid turned back to the file on his desk. He was working on writing up the report for this case. It was unusual since it didn't come to them through the normal procedure. He was practically done but it needed a few more details. He glanced up and saw Morgan hard at work but Prentiss was a different story. She looked as though she was about to bang her head against her desk. He could only assume it was because the case involved her mother. Reid knew what it was like when a parent was involved in a case since it was close to about a year ago that his own mother was brought to D.C because of an unsub. However, her relationship with her mother was highly different than his.

Prentiss groaned and Morgan took a small, crumpled up piece of paper and threw it at her. It hit her in the head, bounced off and ultimately landed on the floor beside her desk. She shot him a nasty look but Morgan only smirked.

"Come on Princess, I'm trying to work here and you're distracting me." Morgan stated with a small laugh in his voice. That was Morgan, always joking around about something or another. Frankly, Reid was sure that Morgan would welcome a distraction from writing up his report. Prentiss, who decided to ignore Morgan, rubbed her temples and groaned again. "The case is over, Princess. Your mother has gone home, what could be bothering you?"

"Besides the fact that Natalya practically had her father tortured because she wanted money?" Prentiss stated in frustration. Neither Morgan nor Reid was offended because they knew her frustration wasn't aimed at them. The only problem was that they didn't know what the frustration was aimed at if not at them. "My mother wants me to come by her house after I file my report. Normally I see her for holidays and birthdays, now it's like every day this week."

"Wish I could see my mom every week, but she is in Chicago with my sisters. I think you are lucky to have your mom living so close." Morgan stated and looked at Reid. "I'm sure pretty boy over here would agree with me." Reid looked up from his report and at his two teammates.

"Yes, it would be nice to have my mom close by but it isn't plausible." Reid stated. It was true. Moving his mother from Vegas, a place she has been her entire life could harm her and make her illness worse. Reid was sure that his mother would never be able to come a visit him in D.C. If Renee and Reid ever married or had children, Diana Reid would never be able to be present for those special milestones. Thinking about it broke Reid's heart.

With that thought the rest of the team fell silent. Garcia and JJ entered the bullpen, each with a file in hand. There was laughter. Garcia had a wide smile on her face and JJ's face didn't show the same glee of Garcia's. Her lips were pressed into a thin line. She was irritated and it wasn't a surprise, JJ could get irritated by anything as of late.

"Come on tell me!" Garcia's tone pleaded with JJ. The media liaison rolled her eyes. She turned to face her friend, who was wearing a look that could only suit a puppy dog who just found a new shiny bone. When Garcia found a small piece of juicy gossip, she was like a blood hound on the hunt. She would not stop until she found every last piece of information that was to be found. JJ just so happened to be on the receiving end of one of Garcia's hunts.

"There is nothing to tell." JJ's voice was exasperating. Whatever the two of them were arguing about it had been going on for quite awhile. Seeing that Reid had been privy to many of Garcia's interrogations, he understood how JJ was feeling at the moment. However, none of them were willing to chime in and help her. Morgan, Prentiss and Reid were too busy watching the scene.

"Oh really? Either you really like flying or-"

"I'm not seeing anyone Garcia. I'm single!" With that JJ turned to the other three agents, who quickly attempted to look like they were doing something but failing miserably at doing so. JJ huffed as she looked upon her coworkers. It was obvious what they were up too. "Are the three of you done with your reports? I'll take them up to Hotch." They signed their reports, they handed them off to JJ, who then marched off toward Hotch's office. None of them followed her, she was in a bad enough mood as it was.

"What were you pestering JJ about mama?" Morgan asked Garcia, who then leaned into his chair. Reid could never really understand or get comfortable with Morgan and Garcia's affection. They were more affectionate for two people who were not even together.

"JJ has a boyfriend!" Garcia all but squealed. While it was news to Reid, he didn't really understand why Garcia would find that squeal worthy. Then again, Garcia didn't make a lot of sense to Reid at all. He liked her and she was a good friend but it was obvious that they were cut from two very different cloths.

"Baby girl, she just said she was single." Morgan stated trying to point out the obvious. While he was a profiler, the things women say may escape him. While Morgan was an expert of getting a date, he didn't understand that sometimes, women don't always say what they mean. He knew people lied but since he couldn't understand why JJ would lie about not having a boyfriend so in his mind, she didn't.

"Your innocence astounds me my dear." Garcia paused. "JJ's been flying down to New Orleans almost every weekend that we don't have a case." It was as though Garcia just learned that she just won the lottery she was so excited. Reid's brows creased, not understand the jump between JJ traveling to New Orleans and her having a boyfriend. Granted he didn't know why JJ would be going down south in the first place. However, everyone else seemed to understand right away.

"You think JJ is dating detective LaMontage?" Morgan asked. It was the only person who Morgan could see JJ with that was from New Orleans. Frankly, it was really the only person the team, minus Reid, knew from that part of the country. The team took this news by surprise. "Are you sure?"

"99.9% sure!"

"Who is detective LaMontage?" Reid asked. He was racking his brain and yet coming up empty. The name sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place it. This was unusual for Reid. Normally he could place anyone that he met in the past just by hearing their name. Reid wasn't one to forget a face.

"You remember LaMontage, he was the lead detective on the case down in New Orleans. The one where men were being killed in the same fashion Jack the Ripper killed his victims." Prentiss stated. She looked at Reid but he was lost in thought. He didn't remember much about that case but then again, he had so much on his mind during that case and not to mention that he skipped out on most of that case. If he did have any type of contact with this detective, then he doesn't remember it.

"I don't recall him." With that the two other agent's, along with the technical analyst's faces fell. They all got a sad look in their eyes and they all knew why Reid couldn't remember him. Reid was still using then and Renee had just left him. They all knew that now. "I'm sorry."

"Kid, there is nothing to be sorry for." Morgan stated and looked at the younger agent. "Are you okay?" That was code for 'are you clean'. That question was asked for frequently than it was while he was using but he couldn't blame them. He always answered nicely. He was going out of his way to be hospital, more so than before. He wanted the team to trust him again and he was trying to make it as easy for them as possible. What he didn't understand was that they already did.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

The airport was busy for a weekday. People were mulling about, some running, trying to catch their flight. Ethan and Renee walked lazily. They had gotten there in plenty of time before Ethan's flight. Renee got a text from Reid saying that the case was finished up and that he would be home at a reasonable hour. That made Renee happy. While she enjoyed Ethan's company, she was excited to really be alone with Reid for the first time since he came back from Georgia.

Ethan was good at giving them privacy. He was able to find something to occupy himself when Reid was more conscious and not out of it because of his withdrawal. He would leave and sometimes not return until the next morning. When those events happened, his clothes would be wrinkled and he would have a wide smile on his face. It was obvious that he had gotten lucky. It amazed Renee how Reid, the sweetest and most faithful man on the planet, could be friends with the two biggest players to grace the face of the earth.

However, there were times, like when Reid went out of town for that arson case, that Ethan and Renee were alone. Ethan was nothing more than the perfect gentleman. It seemed that the jazz musician had boundaries, not many, but some. Renee was sure that if she wasn't his friend's girlfriend, he would have considered her fair game. But Reid was too good of a friend to Ethan for him to even consider going there. When they had the loft to themselves, it was obvious how good of a friend Ethan could be. He even attempted to give her cooking lessons. She failed.

The two of them walked side by side towards the gate that would take Ethan back to New Orleans. They talked about things that were not important. They both knew that they were avoiding the topic of Reid. He seemed to be the main topic between the two of them. Really, Reid was the only thing they had in common. When they reached the gate they saw people lining up to board. Ethan wasn't in first class so he had some time before needing to board.

"Thanks again for coming up." Renee stated. She knew what he did deserved more than a thank you but Renee honestly didn't know how to show her gratitude. If it wasn't for Ethan, she and Reid could have possibly broken up for good and Reid would have still been on his spiral downward. He saved his life.

"No problem. Reid would have done the same for me." Ethan stated. It was true. Reid had helped him out of several sticky situations but those were back in college. Ethan had matured since then. He knew how to enjoy himself without being stupid. After everything that Reid had done for him, he owed it to Reid to come up and help him get clean. Frankly, Ethan was still surprised that the kid fell this far. Out of everyone he knew, Reid would have been the last person he expected to succumb to addiction.

"I feel like 'thank you' isn't enough." Renee stated honestly. She really didn't know how she would repay him.

"There is one thing you could do for me."

"Anything."

"Don't hurt him. Spencer has been through enough. The last thing he needs is a broken heart from the girl he loves." Ethan paused and looked at Renee. "He wants to marry you." It was the simple truth. Renee knew that Reid had been thinking of marriage, seeing that she found his ring but she wasn't sure if that still was on his mind. After everything that had happened with Georgia, Reid could have changed his mind.

"I want that too." Renee stated. It was the truth. She knew from very early on in their relationship that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Reid. Even when she left him, she knew that there wouldn't be another man who would be able to live up to his slandered. He ruined any other man for her. When she left him, she was contemplating a life alone, without someone to be with for the rest of her days.

"But you left him." When Renee attempted to reply Ethan held up his hand. "I don't blame you. You did what was best. While it killed him at the time, it saved his life. I think that if you didn't leave him, he never would have quite and would have been dead within the year. Trust me, I've seen it firsthand. However, now that he is recovering, he is fragile. Leaving him now will kill him."

Renee didn't respond. All she could think about where Ethan's words; dead within the year. That was painful but she knew it was true.

"Look, it will take time. It will be hard. He could relapse. I don't think he will but it could happen. If you stay and you give him a reason to stay clean, he will. Reid's smart, and not just in his genius sense, he will do what is right." With that, Ethan gave Renee a hug and headed toward the gate. She watched him give his ticket to the attendant and board the flight. All the while, Renee was replaying Ethan's words in her head.

Reid and Renee were in bed holding each other. Neither was speaking but they both were breathing hard. Renee's head was lying on Reid's bare chest and he was running his long piano fingers through her blonde hair. Renee traced circles on his. When Reid had gotten home from work Renee jumped him but he wasn't exactly complaining.

Their sex life had gone downhill since Georgia. At first Reid wasn't physically capable of such an activity and then he wasn't in the right place. Not to mention that Renee walked on egg shells around him to really think about having sex. Then when she left, obviously there was no sex and when she came back, they were never alone for both Morgan and Ethan were always at their home. Now, however, they have the privacy and they needed that connection more than ever.

While Reid was confused about this sudden bought of intimacy, Renee knew where it came from. Ethan's words were still ringing in her head; dead within the year. She couldn't help but imagine the 'what ifs'. If she never left, would she have found his body or would he have over dosed with on a case? Would she have gotten that dreadful call saying that the man she loved was dead?

After getting the call that he was seriously hurt, she didn't know if she could deal with the pain of hearing that news. She remembered the long plane ride and the fear that cursed through her veins. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like if he really had died. Granted, she knew that it was still possible. He had a dangerous job and the possibility of Reid being killed was great. Yet, the only small comfort she had was that his death would mean something. If he over dosed, than his death would have been belittled in a way.

She couldn't help but wonder how it would have felt if she did lose him. She would never marry of course. She couldn't picture being with anyone else but Reid. Renee also knew that she would never leave this apartment. She would, however, clean out the closet once the immediate pain went away. She would give his clothes to those who needed them but of course would keep her favorite pieces; like the brown sweater that she found her engagement ring in. She would keep his books on their shelves and when she wanted to hear his voice she would open one and imagine that he was reading the words to her. Every morning she would start a pot of coffee, even though she didn't drink it, just to smell the aroma that reminded her of Reid. Every holiday, she would go and visit his mother. Diana would show her pictures of when he was little. They would share stories and their fondest memories and she would ask why Reid never wrote to her anymore. That question would break her heart all over again and remind her that he had died.

With that Renee sat up, gasping for breath. Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. Reid sat up, alarmed behind her and took her into his arms. He rubbed her bare shoulders in comfort. He didn't understand what brought on her tears. She never cried after sex before and even though they haven't had sex in months he doubted that it would change. It wasn't until she calmed down that Reid dared asked her what was bothering her.

"It's nothing, just something Ethan said." Renee said, hoping to brush it off. Reid's brows creased in confusion. He didn't understand why she would be thinking of Ethan after they just had sex. He couldn't help but say that it was disheartening. However, putting his personal feelings aside he knew he had to ask what could upset Renee this much.

"What did he say? When did he say it?"

"At the airport he told me not to hurt you. I said I wouldn't, I am in this for the long haul; Spencer please know that." Renee pleaded. Reid just kissed the top of his head, which showed her that he did. The fact that she was willing to stay with him was what kept him from falling off the track. "We got to talking and he said that if you hadn't gotten clean, then you would have been dead within the year."

"He is right. I would have been." While he knew that fact, it's a sobering to hear it out loud. He knew, even while on the drug, that he wouldn't see the year out.

"Well, I just keep thinking what it would have been like to lose you. About what it would be like to wake up in this apartment alone, not having you here. Thinking about how close you were to dying really scares me. I knew that before you were hurt that, with your job, you not coming home every time you get called away was great but it was after Georgia that made me realize how big of a reality it is. If you die then I would be alone."

"No, you wouldn't. You would find someone to love you. You would have a nice house with fence and a dog; children running around. Your husband would work a safe, nine to five job with no risk or travel. He wouldn't make you watch hours of Star-Trek or read to you from one of my many boring books. You would be happy. My only hope would be that you would remember me."

"No. There is no one else. Only you." She was still sobbing. "I want only you."

Reid pulled Renee tighter to him. He didn't really know how to comfort her. He knew that if he lost Renee that he wouldn't be able to find anyone to replace her. However, if he died he would want her to find happiness. He would want her to have everything he told her. He couldn't bear the thought that if he died, she would be alone.

"I want you to promise me something. I want you to promise me that if something were to happen to me, I want you to find someone who would make you happy. I would want you to move on and find someone to love."

"I don't-"

"Promise me." Reid stated forcefully.

"I promise." Although she told him what he wanted to hear, she knew that it wouldn't hold. If something where to happen to him, Renee knew every guy she would meet, she would compare him to Reid. No one would be able to hold a candle to him. No one would wear mismatched socks or finish crossword puzzles for her when she got frustrated. No one would own the many crazy sweaters or go off on tangents about things she didn't really understand. No one would teach her something new on a daily basis. No one would be her Reid. No one could compare.

**A/N: Okay, this chapter threw me more a ringer. I didn't really know where it was going. I knew they needed to have a conversation that would bring them closer. Plus I wanted to through in the beginning of JJ denying she is dating Will. We all know she is, seeing that I am sure everyone has watched the show. That and I wanted some team time. I feel like they the team (minus Gideon and Hotch but they are like mom and dad. When parents are away the kids will fight) hasn't had a lot of time together. Also, I felt like I was neglecting Garcia. **


	20. Chapter 20

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Twenty: Forty-Eight Roses

The restaurant was nice, a bit fancier than they were used to but nice. Reid and Renee walked hand in hand, following the hostess toward the table that Reid had booked. They were dressed nicely. Reid was wearing a grey sweater that covered a light blue button-down. Like always he wore a matching tie with slacks. His converses were present and he chuckled lightly when the hostess sneered at them. Renee was dressed in a red dress. Her hair was done up in an impressive up-do. She wore heels that added to her lacking height however, Reid still toward over her.

Renee was surprised when Reid told her he had made reservations at a restaurant that was more her Gran's style than Reid's. When she asked him why, he stated that he wanted to treat her to something nice. He said she deserved it after dealing with him the last couple of months. Renee brushed the comment off but was touched that she was thinking of him. She wouldn't lie and say that Reid was easy to be around but he had gotten better.

Ever since Ethan left, Reid had been good about staying clean. He had every attention of staying clean. After Renee's confession that if he had died, she wouldn't be able to find another to love, it reinforced his desire to be healthy. He knew that if he did fall back into the habit that he would die and leave Renee heartbroken. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her any further than he already had.

Renee had gotten a call from Garcia, Prentiss and JJ inviting her to a girl's night out. She didn't know them very well but she was flattered. However, she had to decline their request. Garcia attempted to talk her into going but when she told her of Reid's dinner planes, Garcia decided that sounded like a better time indeed. After promising Renee to take a rain check she pounded the girl for details. Renee didn't know much but she told the computer technician what she did know. She told her what she knew hoping to escape the girl's inquisition.

Reid laughed nervously when Renee told her of the conversation she had with Garcia. He didn't tell anyone that he was taking Renee to a special dinner because he knew that there would be an inquisition Monday morning. Now he had Garcia's rant to look forward to. It was no secret that Reid was thinking about marriage. Granted everyone assumed that the question had been put off after everything that had gone down the last few months but that wouldn't stop Garcia.

They walked hand in hand toward their table. The hostess sat their menus down and Reid pulled out a chair for Renee. She couldn't help but giggle at how hard he was trying. She could tell that he was nervous and she wouldn't lie and say that she wasn't expecting a certain question but she didn't want to get her hopes up in case he didn't ask. They didn't discuss anything until their waitress came by and took their orders.

"This is a nice place. What made you choose it?" Renee asked as she took a sip of her drink. She looked around and she could tell that Reid was nervous. They were surrounded by other couples. Some of them were old and some of them were young. He smiled but he couldn't help but profile them.

"Your grandmother mentioned it once." After Ethan had left, Renee and Reid had spent a weekend that he wasn't on a case with her Gran. Gran wasn't trying to hide her intentions at all. She hinted at several places that would be idle for a proposal. He remembered every single one she mentioned and looked into everyone.

"Yes, this seems like a place she would come." With that the waitress came with their order and sat down the dishes. They ate quietly, both too nervous to really speak. Reid was trying to muster up the courage to propose, however his bravery was falling flat. Renee had too many butterflies in her stomach to really focus on her meal. This was something she wanted so badly that she was almost scared for to actually happen.

"Do you see that couple over there?" Reid asked, pointing out the couple who was sitting at a table near them. They were older with streaks of grey in their hair, seeming to have been married for several years. The gentleman had his arm resting across the table while he hand held his wife's. The woman was talking adamantly while her husband just fixed her with an adoring smile. It was obvious that after all those years of marriage he still adored her. "They are celebrating their forty-eighth anniversary."

"Forty-eighth? That's a specific number. How can you tell?" Renee searched for any tell-tale signs but she couldn't see any. She looked at Reid who was smiling slightly, watching them. Renee looked back to the couple and couldn't deny that she hoped that was them one day. However, she had to admit that she would be the one smiling adorably while Reid talked adamantly about something.

"See the bouquet of roses on the table?" Reid pointed out. Renee nodded and looked around. They were the only table with roses on it. "They are the only ones who have them so my guess would be that he either gave them to her or had the restaurant put them there. Most likely the restaurant arranged for them to be there because if why wouldn't he give them to her before they left. No it was a surprise for her, a romantic gesture. I could go on to say that the romance in their marriage wasn't what it used to be and that they have to work for it. The roses are a sign that he still cared for her and still loved her even after all those long years together."

"Okay that is sweet but nothing there tells you that they have been married for forty-eight years." Renee stated. While she smiled at what he profiled she couldn't understand how that was the equivalent of forty-eight years.

"There are forty-eight roses in the vase. A specific number if you think about it." He smiled at her much like the man at the other table was smiling at his wife. With that Renee blushed and looked down. She laughed lightly.

"Okay you got me. They have been married for close to five decades. A long time." With that Reid smiled wider.

"I hope that that could be us one day." Reid stated and Renee's head snapped up. Her eyes were wide and her heart speed up. She inhaled deeply and waited but Reid didn't respond.

"What are you saying Spencer?"

"I'm saying that I love you and that I want what they have. I want to wake up next to you every day of the rest of my life. Remember what we discussed the other night? When I described the man who I could you with if I ever died?" Renee nodded numbly. She wasn't sure if she could breathe. "Well, I want to be him. I want all those things I said with you. I want-" Whatever he wanted, he wasn't able to finish. His phone rang.

They both said idly while they listened to the phone ring. Renee's stomach plummeted. She realized that the moment had passed. She would not become engaged tonight and that was a blow to her. She had been building up to this moment only to have it dashed again, much like the time in the metro station. After a moment, Reid bent down and answered his phone.

"Reid." He answered his phone in the normal stoic manner as the rest of the team. "Hey JJ."He listened lightly. "I'll be there." He hung up and phone, put it away and paused before looking at Renee. As he expected, her face had disappointment written all over it. He felt guilty but there really wasn't anything he could do.

"A case?"

"Yeah. I'll drive you home." With that they got their check, packed their leftovers and headed out the door. Having to end the night he had hoped would have an outcome that would have changed his life but now it was ending like almost everything else, because of some murderous maniac. Reid was far from pleased.

Later that night, Renee was standing in her kitchen making tea. She was in sweats that had more holes in them than fabric. She was in one of Reid's old Cal-Tech shirts with her hair piled on top of her head. She was tapping her foot impatiently. She wanted the water to boil so she could make her tea, curl up on the couch and cry. She was heartbroken and the music she had playing in the background reflected that. She had her dinner from the restaurant sitting on the coffee table. She knew that it was late and that eating later wasn't the best idea but she frankly didn't care. She just wanted to wallow.

Renee jumped when she heard the door open and closed. She wasn't expecting anyone. She took the tea pot off the burner, turned and walked around to see Reid coming through the door. Her brows creased in confusion. It was less than two hours ago that he left. There was no possible way that they cracked the case and that he was home already. Hell, she was sure that there would be no way they would have landed yet let alone flown all the way home already.

"I thought you were going out of town?" She asked him and he brought it head up to look at her. She could tell that he was weary and tired. Not only that but there was also disappointment in his eyes. He walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her.

"We leave first thing in the morning. It looks like a bad one." Reid stated in a muffled tone. His face was buried inside of her neck. He inhaled her sent. He was still aggravated with the fact that his night he had planned was shot to hell. He knew that JJ didn't do it on purpose, seeing that she was having a night out herself, but she was the easy person to blame.

"How early is early?" Renee asked him. He pursed his lips and laughed. Renee was an odd bird. While she worked in the morning for her classes but Renee hated getting up early. Reid had on several times had to drag her out of bed while Reid was more accustom to being awake at all hours of the night; courtesy of his job.

"Too early." With that Renee groaned and pulled Reid tighter to her. It wasn't about the time of day, seeing that she could always go to sleep afterward, it just meant that the earlier he left, the less time she had with him. "You don't have to get up with me."

"Yes I do." It was true, Renee always got up on the mornings that Reid would leave for a case early, even though she hated the morning hours and the Reid protested and begged her to stay in bed. Despite all of that, Renee would always rise and see him off. The reason for it was because Renee was afraid that Reid would not come home. Renee knew that she would never be able to live with herself if the reason why she didn't say goodbye when she had the chance was because she was too tired to get out of bed.

"I know." Reid looked at her and kissed her gently. It was a soft moment but it spoke volumes. They held each other and began to slowly sway to the music. Reid had a fleeting thought about asking her now, but he didn't want their engagement to be attached to the fact that he was leaving. He wanted everything to be perfect and right.

The couple enjoyed their dance which soon turned playful. Reid wasn't a very graceful dancer and Renee could hold her own. They twirled and giggled when Reid would bump into something. Reid attempted a dip but when he accidently dropped Renee, they couldn't contain their laughter. Renee pulled Reid down with her causing him to land on top of her. Their laughter was infections. Once they calmed down, Reid leaned into kiss her.

Soon their embrace turned passionate. It was gentle sort of passion. Hands worked their way over each other. Renee lifted Reid's sweater and pulled at his tie while he pushed up his old Cal-Tech shirt that he was wearing. Reid kissed down her neck and toward her stomach. Soon her sweats followed the shirt and Renee was bare, withering on the hard floor underneath him. He kissed the inside of her thigh and soon he worked his tongue to be inside of her.

It wasn't long before Renee became undone and Reid moved up and suckled on her neck. Renee worked on his pants, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his zipper. Soon he was free of the restraints better known as his slacks and his member freed. Renee pushed them to his ankles and spread her legs as far as they could go. Reid plunged inside of her, filling her. Their love-making wasn't sweet but primal and animalistic. It was rough and Renee knew she would have marks on her body in the morning. She could only hope that they would fade by Monday or they were in a place that could be easily concealed. It wasn't a good thing for a kindergarten teacher to have visible marks of sex on her body.

They each reached their high and soon they were falling back down to earth. They clung to each other, panting, trying to catch their breath. Reid traced circles on Renee's shoulder while her head rested on his chest, listening to his heart beat. It hit her that Reid was leaving in the morning and that made Renee pull Reid closer to her. She hated having to say goodbye to him, not knowing if he would ever come home. It was those thoughts made her cherish the small moments even more.

The conference area that the team, well JJ, Hotch and Reid were using while the other members were out in the woods wasn't very large. Reid was glad he didn't have to be out in the wild with Morgan and Prentiss or wherever Gideon had gone. Reid wasn't someone who liked going out into the woods. Mainly because the woods still gave him flashbacks of what happened in Georgia but even before that, Reid wasn't what one would call an "outdoorsman."

Even though he was safe in the conference from bugs and wild animals (the two serial killer brothers didn't bother him), he was still highly agitated. He was thinking about all the 'what ifs'. He was thinking about what he and Renee would be doing if he actually got the words 'will you marry me' out of his mouth. He knew that likely hood of them getting out of bed was slim and that only made him more bitter. Working this case was the last thing he wanted to do.

He knew that his bad mood was reflecting on this case. JJ kept sending him worried glances but he would share a small smile that he hoped would pacify her. He knew that, even though he had been clean for a short amount of time, they still worried that he might relapse. He knew that it was a risk but he was going to fight his hardest to stay clean. Renee deserved that.

"Reid? What's wrong?" Hotch asked. It was more of a demand to know what was going on than asking a question. Hotch had been keeping a close eye on Reid and this was the first time that he had shown any signs. Granted he wasn't the same happy go lucky Reid as he was before but he wasn't exactly grumpy either. The fact that Reid was in a sour mood only scared Hotch.

"I'm fine. Just having an appalling day." It was true. Reid was one to dwell on the past and how he could change things. Even though he promised he would never miss another plane, he couldn't help but wish he didn't answer his phone while they were at dinner. He couldn't help but notice how Hotch's eyes would drift toward his arm where they knew scars of his track marks where. Reid knew that Hotch was wondering if there were any new additions to his old ones. "It's nothing like that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm clean." Reid looked Hotch directly in the eye. "I'm just having a bad day." Hotch seemed to accept that answer. While Hotch loved his team, he wasn't one to really dig into their personal lives unless it affected their work. It was obvious that Reid was less than happy but his work on this case was exceptional like always. He believed Reid when he said he was having a bad day. Hotch nodded and picked up his file. He needed to go over its contents with the police chief.

JJ who could help but overhear their conversation was pleased. The day had been trying; having to tell a parent that their child was dead was never easy. She had been worried that Reid had fallen off the wagon when he came to the BAU for the briefing, they all had been. Hearing Reid flat out deny that he was using again in such a sincere manner was comforting. She walked from the cork board to Reid and sat down beside him. JJ placed a comforting hand on his forearm and he snapped his head up.

"You're not the only one who is having a bad day." JJ stated with a kind smile. She had hoped that engaging him would allow him to open up. That was what she did with the old Reid, the new Reid however, was a different story. "He didn't take it well. He couldn't believe that his son was gone."

Reid gave JJ a sad smile. No one on the team enjoyed being the ones to inform loved ones that someone they cared for was murdered. He didn't understand how JJ did it, seeing that she was the one who did it most often. He saw her reach up and touched her necklace. She wore it often. It was her sister's. She gave it to JJ right before she committed suicide. Perhaps that is why JJ was able to give notifications and handle it better than the team because she understood how it felt to lose someone who she was really close to.

"She would be proud of you." Reid stated and JJ laughed. Out of anyone on the team, Reid was the only person she told about her sister. She always felt that Reid was the brother she never had, ever since the incident with Georgia, their relationship wasn't what it used to be. It had been distant but JJ hoped that they could repair their relationship.

"I hope so." JJ ran the small heart between her thumb and pointer finger. She smiled gently at the memory of her sister and then focused on Reid. She tilted her head lightly and looked at him in the eye. "Well, it is obvious why I'm having a bad day, but why are you?" Reid hesitated. It wasn't that he didn't feel comfortable sharing with JJ, it was just that he hadn't really told anyone about his plans. While he didn't really believe in karma, he didn't want to jinx his chances by talking about his plans to propose.

"Renee and I were having a evening out when you called about the case, ruined the evening." JJ leaned back in her chair. She remembered inviting Renee for her girl's night out with Prentiss and Garcia but she turned them down saying that Reid had something planed for the two of them. She had to admit, the idea of Reid planning an evening with his girlfriend baffled her. She never really thought about Reid as a lover before and seeing him as one kind of made her curious. She shook her head. JJ was happy with her new relationship with Will, not that anyone knew about him.

"Yeah, Prentiss, Garcia and I were having fun before we got called in. Nature of the beast I guess." She sighed, still playing with her necklace thinking about Brad and how he was trying to impress ladies by pretending to be an FBI agent; although, if she thought about it, Morgan did the same thing but was the real thing.

"It's more than that." Reid mumbled and by the way JJ tilted her head, he knew she heard him. He signed and leaned back, mimicking the way JJ was sitting in her chair.

"What do you mean?" JJ's eyebrows creased in confusion. She knew that they had to have been having a good time and by the way he was dressed when he came in for the briefing, they were some place nice. JJ briefly wondered if Will would ever take her some place extravagant. She shook her head, it was too early in their relationship to really think about those things but Will didn't seem like the guy who could be found in a place outside of a sports bar.

"I was in the middle of proposing when you called." With that JJ sat up with her eyes wide. She glanced at the open doors and saw Hotch speaking with the officer outside of it. She leaned it and whispered franticly in Reid direction.

"You're engaged!" She nearly squealed and almost jumped up to hug him and for JJ to have that reaction was saying something. JJ wasn't a hugger. In fact she wasn't one to be touched at all.

"No. I said I was trying to. Your phone call interrupted me." With that JJ got a horrible feeling in her stomach. She felt guilty. She had no idea that when Renee told her that Reid was planning a special evening for her that it meant a proposal. Granted, Renee most likely had no idea.

"I'm so sorry. If I had any idea I would have told Hotch-"

"And I still would have had to come anyway. Look, I still plan on asking, my plans were just pushed back, again. It's not your fault, you had no idea. Just don't tell anyone okay?" He looked at her with those puppy dog eyes. It was those eyes that could get Reid anything he wanted. Those eyes were trouble. If Renee and Reid had children, that child would be spoiled if he ever learned that look.

"I promise. My lips are sealed."

**A/N: Sorry for the long update. Writers block, busy work schedule and a new phone with many many gadgets kept me from by word documents. ** **I have been reading a lot about season eight of CM and it was announced that Reid would have a girlfriend in the up and coming season. While I love the idea of him getting a girlfriend in the show, I don't know how that will work out for my story. Also, I love the new character or what I have read about her anyway. Professor Alex Blake sounds like a good addition…..that and she had connections with Reid (professionally anyway) and that will always be a win in my book! **


	21. Chapter 21

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Twenty-One

Morgan had called Charlie Chaplin a funny man. Charlie Chaplin had that talent of turning anything that was sad or humiliating into something funny and could make anyone smile. So after a case involving a house cleaner who was killing off prostitutes and homeless people and learning about that destruction and walking through the maze of death, the BAU team went into Gideon's office to watch a black and white film of Charlie Chaplin make a fool of himself.

Reid want used to see Gideon smile. Gideon had a few smiles for those he saved, for when he looked at Sarah and on the rare occasion that he saw his son Stephen. However, in that moment when he looked at Gideon, there was a smile. It was a small smile he wasn't sure that he ever saw before. This smile was a small content smile. Gideon was really happy in the moment, just sitting there, with his team, watching Charlie Chaplin.

It really hit Reid in that moment about how much he almost lost that. He almost lost his entire team and he almost lost Renee. He almost lost everything and then he thought back to those victims that had to run through that maze simply because someone deemed them unworthy. Reid came close to being one of those people. He wondered what would have happened if he didn't kick his habit and Renee really did leave for good, if he really would have become one of those people. Would he have to run through a maze, wondering if he ever would have come out alive? Would his feet be bleeding because of broken glass that littered the floor? When the gas would hit his nostrils and he sub come to the darkness and realize that he would never see the light of day again, how would he feel?

His mind drifted to those nameless faces that he saw when he would go and buy his fix. All those common faces that he saw along the way that bought their own personal drug of choice from the same women he may one day find their body. The team may work on their case and what would happen if he knew that person? What would he say to his employer? Would he be honest and say that he knew those people? If he came clean, then all the hard work that Hotch and Gideon put in to protect Reid from losing his job would have been in vain. Then he would have to deal with the fallout of becoming unemployed. He knew that he would be able to find work again, seeing that his mind opened a lot of doors for him that would have been closed to most people. However, he loved his job and didn't want to leave the BAU.

Sitting in the dark, it really hit him how close he came to losing not only Renee but his job as well. He knew that if he had gotten fired, then he would have lost the only people he ever considered family. If he didn't quit, he would have had nothing.

Reid jumped when Gideon sat down beside him. He wasn't expecting it. In fact, he didn't even see Gideon move. He was so lost in his own thoughts that the cheesy music of Charlie Chaplin was pushed into the background. Gideon didn't speak at first. He was silent and Reid could hear Gideon chuckle. Gideon's chuckle was a rare thing, just like his smile but they were known to happen on occasion. With the darkness that surrounded them, his chuckle was always welcome. Gideon slowly turned to look at Reid, causing their eyes to meet. Gideon gave him a small smile.

"There is a fair this weakened. Sarah is forcing me to go. She demanded to know if you and Renee would like to join the two of us." Reid paused. Outside of chess and the occasional dinner at Gideon's apartment or at his office, Reid never really saw Gideon outside of the limelight of the BAU. Reid was taken aback.

"I'm sure that Renee would like to go if we don't have anything planed. She did mention something about having dinner with her grandmother but I'm sure Renee would enjoy going." Again, silence fell among the two of them. The rest of the team was to distracted, laughing, throwing popcorn at each other and watching Charlie Chaplin fall off a stage and into a crowd of people.

"Think about it." Gideon said. "Let me know. The fair is tomorrow and is just outside of Georgetown."

"What kind of fair is it?" Reid asked. He didn't remember hearing about one in that area. Him and Renee were there almost every weekend that they were home seeing that Gran lived in that area. Surely Gran would have said something the last time they had dinner with her. He couldn't recall her saying anything on that subject.

"I'm not sure, something to do with music. I know that there are chess tables. We could play a game. That is if Sarah and Renee allow us to."

"Renee, when she was in high school was taught how to play by a friend of her grandmother's. She may even give you a run for your money." Reid teased, causing Gideon to laugh.

"If I can beat a genius, I'm sure I could beat her. Then again, women surprise me. People, are known to surprise me." Reid paused. He could help but notice the glance that Gideon threw at him, a hidden message within the words. Reid knew what he was saying. Reid has surprised him when he became an addict. Gideon was right, people can surprise him.

The festival was in full swing. Sarah was laughing, her brown hair flowing from side to side. Gideon couldn't peel his eyes away from her. Reid was amazed how a man who has seen what Gideon had seen could be so amazed by a woman such as Sarah. Now, it wasn't that he didn't find Sarah interesting, seeing that in his eyes, she couldn't hold a candle to Renee (then again, most women couldn't), but Sarah had a goodness that most people lacked. He could see Gideon fell in love with that.

With all the darkness that surrounded Gideon, he needed that. He needed a light that could guide him through the darkness. Reid could assume that Sarah filled that void. Sarah was smiling while clapping her hands lightly to the beat of the music. It was some band that he was unfamiliar with. Renee had mentioned in passing that she had heard of them and that Hannah, her younger sister knew of them well. They were a local band and not exactly famous but not unknown. Reid was so out of touch with pop culture that he not knowing them wasn't exactly a surprise.

Of course Reid being Reid brought along a book and kept his nose buried inside of it. He wasn't really listening to what was going on. He would put the book down every now and then and shoot a glance toward Renee. Gideon was watching the girls as well as Reid. Gideon was surprised and pleased with Reid's recovery. Reid of course was doing much better, better than Gideon had hoped. He looked healthier and his skin had lost that thickness and texture to it. He didn't look ill and that boyish smile was back. He still had a small darkness in his eyes that Gideon wasn't sure would ever really go away. He knew that Reid wouldn't be able to overcome his addiction overnight. It would need some perseverance but if anyone was stubborn enough to do it, it was Reid.

Gideon smile and looked at the two women who were talking adamantly. His gaze fixed on Renee. He didn't know her well and wasn't exactly what he would have picked for Reid. For the longest time he thought that if Reid would end up with anyone, it would have to be woman who was just as brilliant as Reid. It wasn't that Renee was unremarkable, but not what he pictured for him, although if Reid loved her and wanted to marry her, then he would just let the romance blossom. While he looked at Reid like a son, it wasn't his place to step in and break them up and make him unhappy. If Reid found her worthy, then Gideon had no choice but to accept her to. In that moment Gideon, who knew that he was a hard critic to please, admired the young women.

Gideon got up from his seat in the park and slowly walked over to where the two of them were sitting. He sat down next to Sarah, while he listened to the two of them about a boutique that the two of them should go to at some point in time. The idea of the two of them growing closer was something he could approve of. He showed the two of them a rare smile. He touched Sarah's knee softly and she gave him a significant look. She bent low and kissed Gideon on the cheek causing him to blush. The man could stare down serial killers but when a woman kisses his cheek in front of hundreds of people was uncomfortable. Sarah got up and walked over to where Reid sat. She took the book from his hands and pulled him to his feet.

"Come. Give this old woman a dance." Sarah stated. Reid stuttered and fumbled. He mumbled something about be uncoordinated and not being able to dance. "I'm not going to buy that. Will you dance at your wedding? Now is a good time to learn." Just like Gideon, Reid was bright red and avoided Renee's eyes. Gideon laughed. How was he to propose if he blushed at the mere mention of marriage?

"That was sly Gideon." Renee stated. "I am assuming that you wanted to talk to me. It is obvious that Sarah was meant to distract him. What is it that you need?"

"I wanted to see how he is doing. If I asked him myself, I wouldn't get a truthful answer. I'm concerned and want to know how he really is. You can give me the answer I need." Gideon asked. He couldn't help but see how her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed.

"Now you care?" Gideon was surprised by her tone. "You see I worked with him and was there at every waking moment. I was there when he withdrawal. I held his hair back while he was sick. Out of the entire team, Morgan was the only person who was there. Prentiss called but never actually came to see him. JJ, who claims to love Reid like a brother wasn't even there. Neither Garcia or Hotch came to see him. Out of all of them I would have expected you of all people to be there. Yet, you were nowhere to be found."

Not physically being there always did make him feel guilty. He wished had done more but he was between a rock and a hard place. If it had gotten around that Gideon had been at Reid's apartment while Reid was "visiting his mother" then it would have been obvious that the lie Hotch and Gideon was spreading around would have been just that, a lie. While it was hard, Gideon knew he did the right thing, as painful as it was.

"I can understand your anger and I'm not surprised by it, much. I did what I had to do and he seems to be doing better." Gideon stated. He knew that he couldn't take any of the credit for that but he wanted to even though he had to right.

"He is but it's hard. He still has nightmares and he still gets sick. I know he still craves. I'm not dumb but I know he does. He doesn't talk about it but I know he will stay sober because if he doesn't he knows I will leave. I guess it comes with the territory of loving an addict."

"Reid's smart. A genius. He will figure a way out of this."

"See that's just it. You say he is a genius as if he is a superior being. He is not. He is human and he makes mistakes. I see past his IQ and his nativity. Do you?" With that Gideon didn't answer. He never thought about it in those contexts. He knew that Reid had skills others didn't. He knew that he could do anything but looking at his prodigy and how uncomfortable Reid was dancing with Sarah made him realize just how human he was. Reid was a person and Reid had made a mistake. The realization was like swallowing a pill. Yes, he was a genius but at the end of the day Reid would go home to the women he loved while Gideon would go home to an empty apartment, seeing that Sarah lived separately from him. Gideon realized that Reid was more human than he was. Gideon felt that empty void grow. He only hoped that Reid wouldn't end up a bitter man like was.

The sun was setting over Washington D.C. It was beautiful. The two mingled through the crowed hand in hand. They had lost Gideon and Sarah along the way. He didn't mind. He didn't like the crowed but he was enjoying the stroll, just the two of them. He liked spending time with her outside of their apartment, outside her Gran's living room and outside of their daily routine. This was different and he was will be uncomfortable for a few hours just to see her smile.

Reid liked to see Renee smile and he liked to see her happy. He could sense some disturbance between Renee and Gideon but as time went on the two of them seemed to grow more comfortable with each other. They watch as young kids ran around the town. While Reid thought it was nice to see young innocent lives enjoying themselves and simply being kids, the profiler side of him could help but cringe. They and their parents had no idea of the danger that surrounds them.

He assumed that it was because of his job that he had a tendency to see evil around him. He couldn't help but profile all of those around him. He knew when a man was having an affair behind his wife's back. Reid knew when teenagers were out when their parents forbid them to leave the house. He knew these things and it was hard to watch innocent children run around when he knew what was out there. He wanted to pick them up and run and hide to protect them. Granted if he picked up a random child it wouldn't go over so well with their parents.

Renee leaned her head down onto Reid's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed his hands up and down her arm, attempting to warm her. They were content just being another couple strolling along. They weren't the typical couple but in that moment, it almost seemed like they could be like all the other couples roaming the festival. He wanted the normalcy that came along with being in a stable relationship.

Renee sighed and Reid knew that sigh. It was a sigh that when something of importance was running wild through her mind. He couldn't tell whether it was a good sigh or a bad sigh. Not all thoughts that brought out that sigh were bad. In fact, she had several "good thoughts" that resulted in that sigh.

"What is on your mind?" Reid asked. Renee tilted her head upward so she was able to look at Reid in the face. She bit her lip and that was how Reid could tell that her thoughts were less than pleasant. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Just a conversation I had with Gideon. It doesn't mean anything." Renee stated, trying to brush off Reid's interrogation. However, since Reid has had to stare down serial killers who were far scarier than his girlfriend, he did not give up.

"I noticed some strain between the two of you before. Is everything okay?" Renee knew that he wasn't going to let it go. While it was frustrating, she was flattered every time he knew that something was wrong with her. Both of her ex-boyfriends, Jake and Max never noticed that she was upset over something. Reid always knew and he would do anything to fix it.

"He just wanted to know how you are doing. I just felt that he was asking a few months to late." Renee stated and Reid understood. While he knew logically that Gideon and Hotch both had to stay away, it didn't make him like it. He wished that they would have been there for him and in some respect, he felt as though they simply ignored the problem. Reid would never talk about it because there was a small part of him that felt as though he didn't deserve their help.

"I was risking my job. If he got to close and knew for sure that I was using, covered it up then both of them could have lost their jobs. Its not worth that."

"But they did cover it up, didn't they?" Reid knew she was right and her pointed look that she was throwing his way made him assume that she knew she was right to. He sighed and nodded his head in defeat. "I don't know. There is something about Gideon that just pisses me off. I know he is like your father and I've always respected him because of that but these last few months made me question his motives toward you."

"What do you mean?" Reid was puzzled. He didn't know what she could mean. She had never shown any type of outward hostility toward Gideon like she did with Morgan. Reid knew that she didn't like Morgan because he reminded her of her cheating ex-boyfriend Jake. Gideon however, he could see no logical reason why she wouldn't like him, especially since it is a new development.

"It's the way he talks about you. He thinks that since you are a genius then you are some type of superior being." When Reid opened his mouth to dispute this claim, she held up her hand and silenced him. "I know you don't think that but he does. The thing is Spencer, you are human. You make mistakes and you made a big one. I think that Gideon knew you made a mistake, couldn't believe it and decided that if he ignored the problem it would go away. If he cared for you as much as he claims he does then he could have opened his eyes and tried to help you." Again Reid opened his mouth to speak but Renee silenced him. "Okay, he would have helped you more than making up a story about you being at your mother's."

"Hotch wasn't there."

"Hotch is your boss and if he knew, he would have had to turn you in. He knew that. Gideon had no obligation to do such a thing." Renee backed him into a corner and he knew it. While he could probably think of a reason to dispute her, he couldn't ignore the fact that she was right. He loved Gideon like a father but he did abandon him in his time of need just like his biological father did. It wasn't until Reid made the decision to get clean did Gideon had a single discussion with him. After that, it was like the subject was drop other than that awkward conversation about Reid going to visit his mother.

"You're right." He stated. His shoulder's slumped in defeat. Just like Gideon putting Reid on a pedestal, Reid looked up to Gideon like a small child did their father. Children couldn't understand that their parents aren't perfect and they day they realize that fact, it is crushing. Reid had reached that day.

"I don't want to be." Renee stated. The couple lapsed into silence but continued to enjoy the scenery. It was a few minutes before Renee broke the ice. "Do you still crave it?"

It caused Reid to pause. He didn't like to talk about it. He didn't like the thought of upsetting her when they were having such a nice time. However, he knew that he wouldn't be able to avoid the question. She was looking at him intently, waiting for an answer. He knew that she would hold his gaze until he answered her question. He debated on lying. He could tell her that he was fine and the thought of finding that release was a mere memory. However, he knew that it could come back to haunt him.

"Yes I do." He felt that the truth was the best thing. He saw how disappointed she was and he felt the need to back track. "I do but I wouldn't. I have to much to risk. What I have now is much more important than getting high. I couldn't bare it if I lost you." With that he could feel her melt.

"I am so scared that you will fall back into the habit. I read that addicts have difficulties staying clean. More fall back into the habit than those who stay clean. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that you fell back into it. You are an addict and I can accept that. I love you regardless of your faults."

"I won't fall back into the habit. I'm the exception." Reid attempted to lighten the mood but he knew that it would take much more than that. Renee of course didn't see the humor. She looked at him with narrowed eyes and sighed.

"You don't believe in exceptions." It was a fact. There was a scientific reason for everything in Reid's mind. He truly believed that there was a reason for everything and that there was no such thing as an exception.

"I work with serial killers. They themselves are an exception." He contradicted her. Renee snorted and laughed. Reid smiled and was happy that he was able to cheer her up. With that Renee buried her head into Reid's chest and began laughing so hard that her whole body was shaking. Reid kissed the top of her head with a small smile on his lips.

"I love you." Renee stated with a smile on her lips. She looked up at him with admiration on her face. It amazed him sometimes how she could still love him even after everything he put her through in the last few months. Most girlfriends would have given up and left but she stuck him out. Even though she did leave him, she came back. Suddenly, statistics about abused women going back to their abuser filled his mind. He shuddered, he didn't want to put it in those contexts.

"I love you too." He responded. She sent him a small smile and grabbed his hand.

"Come. I'm starving. I think that there has to be some type of unhealthy food around here. It wouldn't be a real festival if there wasn't." With that the two of them headed back into the crowed and toward a food stand. Reid smiled as he watched her eat a funnel cake. He knew how unhealthy those things were and normally he would tell her so, not because he believed that she shouldn't eat it, but because he found the information interesting. She knew the difference. However, he saw how happy she was just eating that cake that he didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise. She offered him some but he declined. She stated that it probably was for the best seeing that she wasn't sure if his body could handle any more sugar.

Before long, Sarah and Gideon joined them for the rest of the evening. It was silent but Reid, for the first time since he got sober, felt that he really could do it. He had doubts, anyone would, but it was moments like those, watching Renee eat a simple funnel cake that really made him want to stick with it. He knew that it would be hard but it was something he had to do. It wasn't for him. It was for her.

**A/N: So, my computer died. Like died died and I lost this chapter...all of it. Plus all of my other writings. I had other stories backed up but not this one. So after this is posted, I will be spending the better potion of copying and pasting this story into Open Office (I don't have Word anymore since I don't have the money to buy it.) **

**Yeah, back to my computer. It died but I had it since early high school. It was a trooper. So I took it to a store that fixes computer (just some local joint) and they said it was beyond repair (it was like melting from the inside out.) So they sold me a refurbished computer for like $200 bucks. However, 'it would connect to the internet...lovely. So I took it back, got my money back and went to Aaron's. Now I have a shiny new lap top...for $80 bucks a month. **

**Hence, late chapter. **


	22. Chapter 22

Prick Me with a Needle

Chapter Twenty-Two

The end of the year was always hard. Renee would get close to her students and watching them leave always tugged at her heart strings. Granted, it was only Friday and she still got one week with them left, but the end was far to near for her liking. She didn't really have any type of summer plans. Reid had mentioned going to Vegas to visit his mother but nothing was concrete. She knew that after a week or two, her end of the year blues would disappear and she would begin to enjoy the summer time before it was time to prepare for the oncoming year.

Today, the students didn't have an actual school day. Today was reserved for the end of the year conferences with the parents. It was a day for the teachers to explain how their child had done during their school year and where they might go in the following year. It was a rather new idea, to have an end of the year parent teacher conferences, but it was a last chance to get the parents to learn about their child. It always saddened Renee to see how little some parents cared.

Either way, it was a draining day and Renee opened her door thinking she would find Reid hunched over some book writing a paper for some class that he was taking. He was debating on starting a degree in philosophy so in a very Reid fashion, he did research into the subject. He wanted to make sure that he wanted to peruse that degree before making any type of final decision. Renee was subjected to several facts about philosophy that she either didn't want to know or already knew. But like any good girlfriend, she would nod and smile when Reid went on one of his tangents.

However, when she opened her front door she didn't get what she expected. The smell coming from inside the apartment was wonderful. Her boyfriend was cooking her dinner. He didn't do it often because he was away on a case or worked late nights but when he was home, she always did enjoy a home cooked meal. Renee herself attempted to cook him dinners but she wasn't exactly the best chef in the world. It wasn't until the last year and a half that she learned how not to burn water, something Reid claims is impossible to do, yet she has done it. It was a slow process but she was getting better, slowly.

Renee entered the apartment and closed the door slowly. She tiptoed slowly into the living room and was surprised by what she saw. All of the furniture was pushed back up against he opposing walls. The center of the room was completely clear except for a fluff blanket spread across the wooden floor. The blanket was surrounded by pillows, some of them she recognized and some of them were obviously new. She realized that the lights were turned down low and that several candles were lit and were in plenty of safe distance from the blanket and pillows on the floor.

Renee jumped when Reid placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned quickly, almost knocking her boyfriend over. He laughed, grabbed her shoulders and steadied her. He looked at her with amusement. He was wearing that wide smile that hasn't graced his face in several months. She studied him for a moment and she could tell that he was nervous about something. He put his hands back into the pockets and was rocking on his heels.

It was very similar to the way he was acting on their first date. He was nervous and suddenly a little bubble of hope fluttered in her stomach. She looked back at the set up in the living room before looking at Reid again. There was the awkward wide smile that she loved so much, still plastered on his face.

"What is all this?" Renee asked with question in her voice. She pointed to the blankets and the pillows. He smiled gently.

"Well, I knew that you would have a bad day and I just wanted you to come home to something nice." Reid stated as though it was obvious. "I knew that you would be to tired to cook anything-" Reid stopped when Renee interrupted him.

"Sweetheart, I can't cook."

"You do just fine." Reid protested. It was true that she was getting better and Reid was her biggest cheerleader. He would sit down and eat anything she cook whether it was edible or not. However, Renee couldn't help but notice that he didn't eat as much as he did when he did the cooking. Even with that, Renee couldn't help but feel loved when he simply ate the very little of her cooking.

"That's nice of you to pretend so."

"Anyway. As I was saying, I knew you wouldn't want to cook anything and wouldn't want to go out so I decided that cooking dinner sounded like the best idea. Then I decided that it would be fun to turn it into a picnic only inside." With that Renee looked around the room again. She smiled gently. She inhaled again, smelling the wonderful aroma that was coming from the kitchen.

"What are you making?" It was obviously Italian because she could smell the sauce and the peppers. That caused Reid to smiled even wider. He grabbed her hand and dragged her into the kitchen. On the counter she saw things to make salad along with the toaster oven heating up some garlic bread. Reid bent down to the conventional oven and opened it up. Inside was a pan that was covered with tinfoil. She smell the food and smiled. "Lasagna?"

"You attempted to make it for my birthday last year, you gave me that scarf. I thought it would be nice." He gave a sheepish smile and Renee melted. He could be so thoughtful sometimes. Renee grabbed his tie and brought his face down to her level. She kissed him fully on the mouth. Reid responded very enthusiastically. When they broke apart, the two of them needed to catch their breath. "Why don't you go and get changed while I finish up here." Renee nodded and turned to go upstairs. Suddenly her day got a lot better.

She changed quickly into a pair of comfortable yoga pants, the ones that show off her backside well enough. Reid loved to see her in those pants. She didn't wear the to often because it was rare that they stayed on that long. She also put on a tank-top and a small sweater. She went back downstairs to see Reid bringing the salad into the living room. She laughed lightly when she saw that the stacked several of his books to make a make-sift small table were he was placing the food.

"Need any help?" She asked. Reid shook his head and told her to get comfortable. Renee did as she was told. Reid came back with two plates and two bowls and some silverware. She smiled when Reid started to serve her before getting food for himself. While Reid was always a gentleman, except for those rare occasions when they tried to experiment in bed, Renee usually served herself. However, tonight it seemed that Reid really wanted to impress her. He really need not try. He does that on a daily basis.

They chatted softly but Renee noticed that Reid wasn't really eating. He was picking at his food more than consuming it. She wouldn't deny that she had butterflies in her stomach. She wasn't going to get her hopes up because he might not ask her. He could really just be doing something extremely nice. She took a sip of her drink and watched Reid over the top of her glass. While she wasn't sure if he would ask, she couldn't deny that he was nervous about something.

"Dinner is lovely." Renee stated. She was hoping to engage him into some type of conversation. He was unusually quiet and she wasn't sure if she liked that.

"We were celebrating the last time we had it. I thought it would be appropriate." He stated. He looked at her and it caused Renee to blush. She smiled lightly and put down her glass. She crossed her legs and turned so she was completely facing Reid. She locked her fingers together and placed them on her lap.

"I see. What are we celebrating?" She asked and couldn't help but notice how Reid swallowed lightly. Her insides tightened but at the same time it was almost a relief. She has waited for this for a very long time. She loved him and she decided that whether or not he knew it, tonight would be the tonight.

"The fact that I love you." Reid stated and Renee smiled. She leaned in and kissed him gently. It was soft but he couldn't help but feel the love within the kiss. It seemed that every time they had a moment like that, Reid would get shy.

"I love you to." She whispered softly. Reid took her hands in his and kissed them.

"Renee, I never thought that I would find someone who loved me. I always imagined that I would work myself into my grave with the job I have. I thought that I would die alone but then, like any other day we got a case. But this case was different. I was so focused on the job that I didn't realize what was in front of me-"

"Spencer"

"However, it wasn't long until I noticed. You ask me to come back and when I did all I could think about was this smile. You have this smile that can light up a room. I never saw a more beautiful women in that moment. I think that it was in that first moment that I fell in love with you. Which if you think about it is odd because I really do not believe in love at first sight. The feeling people get when they see someone they are attracted to is a chemical reaction in their brain which will lead to-"

"Spencer"

"feelings of lust which is easily mistaken for love. There was defiantly lust but I really do believe that I loved you at that moment. There was something that drew me to you. I am not good at showing how I feel but with you its almost as easy as expelling oxygen."

"Spencer"

"It is a natural process. I hope you feel the same with me. I mean, after all those months were I wasn't exactly the best boyfriend and I hope that I am able to make up for th-" Renee placed her hand over Reid's mouth cutting off his rambling.

"Spencer, will you marry me?"

Reid was shocked by the question. It took a moment before the information was able to full sink in. When it did, he wasn't able to hide the small smirk on his face. However, Renee sat there waiting breathlessly. He was taking a moment to respond and she honestly didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing.

"Renee, you are ruining my proposal!" Reid stated in a fake exasperated voice. Renee threw her head back and laughed. The nervousness left her because she basically had her answer. However, she knew that Reid was waiting for this moment. She would allow him to ask her, even though he was smiling widely.

"I'm sorry. Continue." Renee stated and made a hand movement that indicated her words. Her smile was wide and her heart was beating fast. She knew what was coming. She knew his answer and he knew her's. It was real and it was almost final.

"Thank you. As I was saying-oh hell." Reid grabbed her and crashed her lips to his. It was eager and excited. Renee could feel his enthusiasm in his kiss. They broke apart and they both were laughing. "Yes, Renee, I will marry you." Renee grabbed his face and brought his lips back to hers. She leaned back so she was lying on the blanket and Reid covered his body with hers.

It wasn't long before their clothes were gone and their hands running all over each other. Reid entered her slowly, savoring the moment. Their love making was slow and gentle. Reid's eyes never left hers. It was as though they were making a vow to each other. They knew that this was a beginning for them. They knew that the past, while always present, was something they could move on from. It wouldn't be easy but they knew that it was worth it. Their future was in the palms of their hands.

It wasn't until later, when Renee was lying on top of his chest that it occurred to her that she really was engaged. She smiled widely and giggled. Reid looked at her with a lazy, content smile on his face. He kissed the top of her forehead before Renee propped herself up on one elbow.

"Do I get a ring?" She asked. Her mind flashed toward the pearl ring she had found months earlier before their nightmare started. Ever since she took it off her finger, she had been itching to have it put back on. All those mouths that Reid was struggling, she felt as though a part of her was missing. Reid smiled widely and nodded. He sat up and moved some of the plates that were still stacked on the makeshift table of books. One of the books that was on the top was pulled and when Reid opened it, Renee saw that it was one of the books that was really a box to hide things in. Inside the book was a small box. He opened it, and there sat the small pearl ring that Renee had fallen in love with all those months ago. Reid took it out of the box and slipped it on her finger. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the ring before kissing each of her knuckles.

When Reid leaned in to kiss her lips was when the phone rang. They paused listening to the familiar ring. Neither moved. It wasn't long before the ringing stopped. He didn't feel guilty, he was too happy for that. However, the phone rang again. The first time, it could have been anyone. However, since the phone range twice, both Reid and Renee knew that it was JJ calling him in.

"I'll ignore it."

"You can't."

"I'll tell them I can't come in." Reid answered his phone with his usual business voice. Renee could hear a woman's voice on the other end. She knew that it was JJ. "JJ, I can't-" Reid cut off and Renee could see his face lose it's color. Whatever it was, it was serious. "Who is she?" Pause. "What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know?" Pause. "Yeah, I will be there." He hung up the phone and simply stared at it.

"What is it?" Her voice was soft. She brought one of the blankets up to cover herself up. She placed a hand on Reid's shoulder. He looked at her with soft eyes.

"A women is dead in Gideon's apartment."

The train station was clear. The next day it would be able to get back to everyday business but the team knew that they wouldn't be the same again. Gideon had pulled away from them. They all went through regulations. None of them could really look at the tracks were the remains of Frank and Jane lay. The outcome of their double suicide would live with each and everyone of them.

Gideon was sitting on a bench staring at those tracks. He wasn't to be disturbed. None of the team knew what to do. None other than Reid and Hotch knew that Gideon was seeing someone. However, they all knew that Gideon would never be the same again. Gideon was an enigma to them all. He always had this shield up that hid him from the rest of the team. He didn't really allow himself to get close to anything and if he did, it was only skin deep. The only person he really allowed in was now gone. That grief was becoming to much for him to bare.

The team gathered and simply looked onward toward him. Police were walking the platform but the team remained still. They didn't know what to say or what to do. Morgan had no words for what he was feeling. Strauss had called, they all were being taken off rotation seeing that a bureau investigation was pending. They were home bound until the investigation was finished. He asked if he could go to Chicago. He need to see his sisters and his mother. He was granted permission.

Prentiss was tired. She was shutting herself down. She didn't want to feel what she was feeling. She knew that once they were able to leave, she would head back to her condo and open an old bottle of scotch. She would drink her sorrows away. It wasn't healthy she knew that but it was the only she had. Prentiss couldn't go to her mother and her mother was the only family she had. She was having one of those rare moments where she wished she kept that baby she aborted. She shook herself.

Hotch watched his friend. He couldn't imagine the pain he was feeling. If he lost Haley or Jack, he knew that something inside of him would snap. He just wanted to go home to his wife and hold her. He wanted to hug his son and spend the day with him. He just wanted to hold him and rock him sleep. Hotch needed to remind himself that is family was safe and that he loved them.

Garcia, who just arrived on the scene. She was told to stay away but she wasn't one to follow orders when someone she cared for was hurting. However, when she reached the station, she wished she had stayed away. She had been with Gideon the most after he lost her. She saw his determination to find Frank. Now, that he had that chance to really allow that news to sink in, she was seeing the weak side of Gideon. She didn't like seeing him so broken, yet she didn't know what to do. Garcia closed her eyes and allowed the sun rays to hit her skin. She turned and knew where her destination was. She would get roses and go spend some time with her parents. Her visit was over due. She would trace the letters on their graves and prayed that they were proud of her.

In New York, JJ stood outside of Frank's apartment, watching little Tracy Bell be looked over by paramedics. She crossed her arms and allowed herself to feel. She didn't have those moments often. After her sister's suicide, JJ shut herself off from the world. Yet, there were moments were she could feel herself thaw. Those moments were happening more often. It wasn't until Reid was kidnapped that the ice slowly began to crack. She couldn't make those emotions disappear. Once she allowed herself to feel that pain, guilt, fear and eventually relief, it was like a dame of water breaking. All the emotions she had bottled up for so many years, flooded out. Years of repression hit her at once. She pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Will? I need to see you."

Reid stared out the window. He could hear JJ's voice softly in the background. He was itching for Renee. He needed her more than anything but he knew that it would be a few hours before he would be able to see her. Today was to be one of the most happiest days of his life. Yet, here he was, mourning a women he didn't have the chance to get to know well. He just wanted to go home. Perhaps Renee wouldn't mind going to Vegas to see his mother since they were taken off rotation for the time being. He didn't really know what was going to happen. He only knew two things for sure. Gideon would no longer be a closed book or and enigma. The team had seen a side of him that Gideon wanted to keep hidden. Reid wasn't sure how well that would go over. That worried him. The second thing he knew was that Gideon was really alone now. He didn't have anyone. He would go home alone.

It was late on Saturday before Renee heard anything. He had gotten a text stating Reid would be home for the day was out. That comforted her. He would only be gone twenty-four hours and that pleased her. She accepted that his job would take him away but she didn't necessarily like it. She wanted him home were she knew that he was safe but she could never ask him to leave the job he loved, even if it meant that he was in danger.

Renee was busy making tea. She didn't really know what was happening. The only thing she was that Reid was on his way home. He had called saying that JJ and himself were on the jet heading back to D.C. He wouldn't give her any type of details over the phone but she could tell that he was tired. She hadn't slept since he left. She didn't know much but she knew that something was terribly wrong.

Renee looked down to her new ring. While she was happy that what she had been waiting for had finally happened, she had this sense of dread in her stomach. While she knew it was selfish, she couldn't help but imagine what her future would hold. She closed her eyes and imagined herself in a white dress. She didn't want a big wedding but she wanted that moment.

She wanted the moment were her and Reid's eyes locked when she was walking toward him. He would hold out his hand and she would place her's inside of it. She could just imagine how happy she would be. She opened her eyes and focused on the ring. It was finally in its rightful place. She couldn't help but let a small bubble of a giggle slip past her lips. While she knew that she shouldn't be happy in a time like this, she couldn't help but feel that joy.

She just wanted a few moments before whatever news that would burst this bubble reached her. Renee knew something was wrong. She knew that she wouldn't have the normal experience of a newly engaged women. Her engagement would be marred by something sinister. While she could accept that and move forward with that knowledge, she just wanted a few moments to feel the giddiness of a new bride. It was selfish, she knew but she needed it.

It wasn't until she heard the door open that she jumped. She could hear his footsteps coming through the door. Renee turned and all but ran out of the tiny kitchenette. She saw Reid by the door, kicking off his shoes. His shoulder's were slumped as thought he was carrying a huge weight that needed to be lifted. Renee walked over to him and could see how sad his eyes looked.

She wrapped her arms around around him and she felt him engulf her. He leaned on her and Renee had to stand still as a rob to be able to hold him up. She didn't mind and it was comforting to have him in her arms. Every time he had to leave because of a case, whether local or not, it always made her worry. She never knew if he would come home and when he would walk through the door, it was like a wave of warmth would wash over her.

"What is it?" She whispered. Reid straitened and looked down at her. His eyes shined with worry and remorse. Renee knew that it was serious and that something was deeply wrong. It scared her more than she had ever been scared before.

"It's Sarah. She is dead."

**A/N: And scene. I noticed that I didn't put this in the previous chapter but this is the last chapter. But have no fear, the third installment should be along...soon. It's titled "Something Old". I will put the summary at the end of my A/N. I had this chapter pictured in my head since the beginning and was so excited to right it. At first Reid proposed but I felt that he was taking FOREVER and I knew Renee was getting impatient, hence her proposing. I thought it fit for the two of them. **

**The song I listened two while writing this was "Turning Tables" by Adele. I'm serious. I had the song on repeat while writing it. My mother is sick of hearing it. Anyway summary:**

**Something Old**

**While planning for their future, someone from Reid's past reemerges, bringing memories that he wanted to keep long hidden to the surface. Unable to bring himself to forget the past, Renee pushes him to confront his peers and move forward. **

**Think Elephant's Memory...if the summary wasn't obvious enough. It takes place during season three and yes, Gideon/Rossi will be a story line. It's kind of hard to avoid. **


End file.
